


I’ve Been Waiting For You

by ElizaKroon, trinasong



Category: Falsettos - Lapine/Finn
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Figuring Things Out, Fluff and Crack, Friends to Lovers, Implied Sexual Content, Mutual Pining, Teacher AU, a lot of awkwardness from mendel, mendel is a drama teacher and I also love him, she loves california, sickly sweet, they both love mamma mia, trina is an art teacher and I love her
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-13
Updated: 2019-01-13
Packaged: 2019-10-09 13:11:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 50,524
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17407541
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ElizaKroon/pseuds/ElizaKroon, https://archiveofourown.org/users/trinasong/pseuds/trinasong
Summary: Five most pleasurable days in Queens with the woman he was convinced he’d marry at least sixty times in his mind and thirty five fifteen year olds. Very much counting the bus journey. This was his honeymoon, as far as he was concerned.—this is just the two of them being soft while hiding their relationship from prying students.





	1. introduction

**Author's Note:**

> hi! both eliza and i are just hoping this is enough to feed the small trindel fan base. i wrote mendel, el wrote trina.
> 
> the chapter titles have meaning, i promise you.  
> also yes, the title is an abba reference  
> this technically classes as a novel, and we’re very pleased about that. i guess this kinda just happened. with all luck, this isn’t too boring to read. we had a ton of fun writing it, at least. anyways. onwards! enjoy

Mendel Weisenbachfeld, moderately okay drama teacher, had no shame in admitting he had the most terrible, gut-wrenchingly embarrassing crush on the art teacher. Trina Levine. There were scarce few in his class who didn’t know, and he attested to this by turning all of his talk and light chit-chat to her one way or another.   
  
He just so happened to have the good fortune of being close to her classroom. That meant walking with her to the staff room, and trailing behind slightly. For no reason in particular. Oh, but she does have an excellent fitting pair of trousers.   
  
He’d cater to her every whim, whether it be a mug of below-average coffee, or a half-jog to her classroom to pick up her folders. If he’d had just enough black coffee (lactose intolerant) in the morning, he’d even have the fortitude to sit with her at lunch. Not on Wednesday, as she had an art club from 11:50 to 12:50. Sometimes 12:52.   
  
Of course, when the opportunity of a creative arts trip arose, he was more than ready to seize that opportunity with both hands.   
  
Five most pleasurable days in Queens with the woman he was convinced he’d marry at least sixty times in his mind and thirty five fifteen year olds. Very much counting the bus journey. This was his honeymoon, as far as he was concerned.

 

————

Admittedly, Trina should’ve been the one to say something. It was painfully obvious to almost everyone that Mendel was madly in love with her, but almost no one knew the crush was mutual. She was excellent at hiding her emotions, whether that be for better or for worse.   
  
She noticed the hearts in his eyes when he looked at her, and the way his cheeks would flush a deep red when she smiled at him. She was, therefore, hardly surprised when he signed up for the creative arts trip almost immediately. 


	2. Roger Taylor, 1973 Runner Up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> once again, the titles have meaning. no, not roger taylor roger taylor. enjoy this! feedback is appreciated.

Admittedly, Trina should’ve been the one to say something. It was painfully obvious to almost everyone that Mendel was madly in love with her, but almost no one knew the crush was mutual. She was excellent at hiding her emotions, whether that be for better or for worse.  
  
She noticed the hearts in his eyes when he looked at her, and the way his cheeks would flush a deep red when she smiled at him. She was, therefore, hardly surprised when he signed up for the creative arts trip almost immediately.  
  
They sat next to each other in the bus, and much to Trina’s disappointment, she mostly had to keep her eye on the two motion sick students in the front. But she still felt his hand brush against her thigh occasionally, and truthfully, it made her heart skip a beat. She loved being so close to him, and she wished the moment would never end.

————

Mendel was having the time of his life. To an extent. He didn’t deal well with sickness, which hardly surprised anyone.

He cleared his throat after a while. “So,” Mendel started, shifting in his, quite frankly, very uncomfortable seat. “Queens, huh? That’s...in New York. Tennis. The tennis tournament thing.”

He noticed some of his students glance back, and he gave them a look that very much said ‘ _fuck off’_. Oh, but didn’t he adore them? They were more than satisfied to listen to him interrupt his own lesson on Artaud to talk about how common it was for Trina to wear floral patterns. Which was two days in five. She looked excellent in floral patterns, even if it irritated him that the buttons didn’t quite match the rest of the shirt. If he stared at her long enough, it wouldn’t bother him so much.

————

Trina turned to face him, with the warm smile she always had on her face when she was near him. With a light laugh, she responded with: “Yeah, it is. Are you a tennis fan?” He truly didn’t seem like a person who would be, but if he got the idea that she liked tennis, he’d probably lie and say yes.

She kept her eyes from drifting to their hands, which were touching, but not holding, to her dismay. The students would probably go insane if she took his hand, though. Her free hand went towards her hair, as she brushed a strand behind her ear. She was strangely insecure about her hair.

Truthfully, the awkward chemistry between them made her want to kiss him so badly, but even though his raging crush on her was painfully obvious, she wasn’t sure if he’d like it. She wasn’t sure of anything, really.

———

“Tennis? No. Sports? No,” he replied. “If you like tennis, that’s great. It’s a great sport. Really...therapeutic.”

Mendel had never played tennis, so how was he to know? Just keep talking.

His gaze fell on her hand, which had moved to her hair. Brown, but not _just_ brown. It was the most incredible shade of deep chestnut, _thank you very much._

“Don’t touch your hair. I mean, I’m not stopping you. That’d be weird. It looks nice, is what I mean. Very...neat.”

Mendel didn’t fall so high up on the scale of romantic smoothness. He said _neat_ , so there was almost certainly a problem there. He didn’t fall so high up on any scale, for that matter.

———

That meant more to her than he could ever know. She tried to hide the faint blush that had reached her cheeks, as she chuckled: “I— uh- thank you.. And I’m not too fond of tennis either. I prefer yoga and stuff like that. It’s lame, I know.”

Trina absolutely didn’t mind his awkwardness. It made her feel a little better about herself, and she thought it was cute.

As she looked out the window to avoid staring, she commented: “We’re almost there, I think.” Her voice had a hint of disappointment to it, which she tried to mask with a slight rise in pitch.

She wasn’t normally this flustered, she thought to herself. Maybe if she told him about her feelings, she’d be more comfortable. She was way too afraid for that, though.

———

Mendel wouldn’t confess if his life depended on it. Maybe he could—no, he couldn’t. He had very few ideas these days.

He glanced out of the window, as though he hadn’t momentarily done so. “I guess so. I’ve never been to Queens,” Mendel mused, tapping his foot absently. A habit he’d had for a year too many.

The coach finally halted outside of a rather comfortable looking hotel. So, it wasn’t all bad. A chorus of teens piped up, hurrying to stand up.

“Oh, for the love of—“ he cursed under his breath as he moved to manage the crowd (35 teens).

———

Trina laughed, a little too loud, standing up after him. “Come on, I’ll help.” She smiled at him, mentally kicking herself for being such a lovestruck idiot. She wasn’t usually this close to him.

 After everyone was escorted to their rooms, they were the only ones left in the hallway. She swallowed, looking down at the carpet and resisting the urge to kiss his cheek. “Well—“ she started. “Goodnight, then.”

She fiddled with the hem of her dress, making eye contact again. “It was nice talking.” She smiled again, a little uneasy.

———

Mendel nodded. He glanced at her hand when she thumbed at the hem of her dress, but moved his gaze back to her face, figuring it may not be his wisest choice.

“Yeah. It was. Bright and early tomorrow, right? Hah. Goodnight, Trina,” he said, lowering his voice towards the end of the sentence. Mendel frequently had to remind himself not to use her first name when speaking around students. A mistake he’d made many times.

He rocked on his heels a little. God, had she always been taller than him? Was it the heels?

He shoved his hands in his pockets gingerly, diverting his gaze. Eye contact, as you’d expect, wasn’t his area.

——

Trina nodded in response, turning towards her room. Their rooms were next to each other, which was a comforting idea to her. It was almost like they were sleeping next to each other. She muttered a soft ‘bye’, before entering her room, kicking off her heels and setting her suitcase down.

She took off her clothes, and changed into a negligee. She’d get really hot at night. A lot of thoughts ran through her head as she sat down on her bed, her face burning.

Trina sighed deeply, instinctively biting her lip and pulling out a book. She’d need some distraction from Mendel, or her heart would probably stop.

———

Mendel had locked his door, setting down his suitcase. He’d changed, and just about settled in. No pillow. Mendel’s luck, of course.

Bingo.

He unlocked his door, darting out into the corridor. He faltered before approaching the room belonging to Trina. Excuses, excuses.

He knocked three times, stepping back.

Oh, god. He was wearing the pyjamas that really didn’t fit him. Unflattering. He rolled up the sleeves haphazardly, endeavouring to look at least a little more impressive.

———

Trina was surprised to hear a knock at the door, and she stood up, silently praying that it wasn’t a student. She opened the door, glad that it was just him. He looked sweet. Domestic and sleepy.

_Oh my god, I’m wearing a fucking negligee._

She was quick to cover her chest with her arm, leaning against the doorway as casually as possible with her face burning red. “Hey. What’s up?”

———

He glanced back up from the floor upon hearing the soft click of the door opening. Mendel went to speak, but found himself unable to form a sentence. So, she was wearing a negligee that left very little to the imagination. It hitched up her leg slightly as she leaned against the doorframe. God forbid a student walked out into this.

“I—do you have a spare pillow, by any chance?” He asked, giving her a borderline hysterical smile that didn’t quite meet his eyes.

His eyes flickered almost too quickly over her frame. Long legs. Pretty neat. He had, in fact, picked up on that beforehand, but had no issue in restating that point.

———

With an awkward smile back, she nodded rapidly. “Uh, yeah, I might—“ She turned around, opening her closet and bending over to pick up the pillow laying at the bottom. Wait, shit. She was quick to stand back up and go back to the door, handing him the pillow.

She glanced away, her eyebrows furrowed, a little afraid. “Uh, I’m sorry about all this.” She gestured towards her body with an uneasy laugh. “You shouldn’t have to see that.”

Biting down on her lip hard, she tried filling up the silence some more. “I hope a student doesn’t walk out right now. They’ll think we had sex or something.”

———

He trained his eyes to her all up until she bent over. Despite the flash of her underwear, which he wasn’t going to forget any time soon, she had a demure air about her.

Mendel felt the blush that had settled over his body finally reach his cheeks.

He’d been staring at the ill-painted wood of the door frame before his eyes flicked back to her when spoke.

“See what? Oh—no, I don’t mind. Really,” he said quickly, growing more neurotic by the second. Mendel cleared his throat as she mentioned sex; a concept he wasn’t familiar with other than in the privacy of his bathroom at the fine hour of 10pm.

“That’d be weird. Right? Yeah. I guess getting caught afterwards wouldn’t be as bad as getting caught doing it. Not that we’d have sex.”

———

“Yeah..” She looked into his eyes. “Oh, screw it,” she muttered under her breath, before cupping his face and kissing him with a gentle passion. 

God, she’d wanted this for so long. It felt like glitter was exploding inside her. Her lips tingled and her heart seemed to be standing still. After a while, she pulled away, her cheeks bright red with a blush.

“Goodnight, Mendel. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

———

Mendel was cut off as he opened his mouth to come out with another impromptu monologue. Pleasantly, he was cut off by her lips on his.

He stumbled forwards slightly when she cupped his cheeks. Her hands were soft, and he was more than happy to touch her. Not _touch her_ , but the point stood. Did he want to _touch her?_ Yes, but that isn’t the point.

When she pulled away, he hadn’t quite began to comprehend the situation, or why he wasn’t speaking as she blushed.

Mendel blinked. “Goodnight, Trina,” he breathed, stumbling back from the door, and not taking his eyes off her as he soundlessly walked back to his room. Boner.

———

Trina was quick to shut the door, as she went back to her bed, lying down on her side and frantically muttering to herself. 

_What if he didn’t like it? What if she was a terrible kisser? What if he didn’t even like her? What if they got in trouble for kissing?_

She held onto the covers tightly as she drifted off to an uneasy, patchy slumber. God, she was absolutely terrified. She wasn’t sure if she was strong enough to face him the next day.


	3. Come Kiss My Mezuzah Tonight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank eliza for the titles. she is a genius.
> 
> this is a little longer than the previous chapters. i haven’t properly proofread this i am sorry.

Mendel awoke, a light feeling in his chest. He made his routine quicker than he would had he been in his own apartment.

He tripped over his feet when making his way down the stairs for breakfast, but that would hardly dampen his mood. It hurt. Pretty bad, actually. Fuck.

Mendel shook it off as he caught sight of Trina making light conversation with one of her students. She smiled, and he swore he felt a little woozy.

He retrieved a mug of cheap coffee before lingering at a table in the corner. He was hoping she’d look over, otherwise he may pass out.

———

With a moment’s hesitation, she walked over to his table, sitting down at it. Trina wasn’t wearing any makeup, so she felt intensely insecure. “Good morning.. Sorry, I look awful.”

Her lack of makeup wasn’t the main reason she was insecure, though, as she feared he would reject her in front of all her students. Wouldn’t that be fun.

Fidgeting with one hand underneath the table, she occasionally glanced away, afraid his eyes would turn cold. Objectively, she knew they probably wouldn’t. But she wasn’t too good at thinking objectively. She smiled awkwardly, her eyes big and frightened.

———

Mendel could feel anxiety practically radiating from her. Huh.

“Good morning,” he replied before sipping his coffee. “I mean—sorry, no, you don’t. You look good. Great,” Mendel stumbled over his words before sipping his coffee to prevent this becoming more of a situation that it already seemed to be.

Mendel knew he couldn’t be too brash around students, although they’d probably see it as an achievement on his behalf. He lightly nudged her leg beneath the table, and to his dismay, an obnoxious wolf whistle was heard from a far table. One of his students, of course. Trina’s were too mild.

———

Trina’s anxiety practically shot through the roof at that, and she started fidgeting some more, although she appreciated the affectionate nudge.

She really had nothing to do with her hands, since she didn’t have breakfast, or anything to drink. She glanced back at him, smiling uneasily. Dear god, she was uncomfortable. “So.. last night,” she started, her voice not much louder than a whisper.

She immediately regretted saying it, not because anyone noticed, but because she was too afraid of his response.

———

Mendel cringed as she did.

“Last night. Yeah,” he repeated, rubbing the back of his neck. “You—did you mean to do it?” Mendel followed up. He was hoping she’d spare his feelings.

Although his voice was low, he was well aware of the few eyes burning into his back.

Mendel sipped his coffee in a futile attempt to remain nonchalant. He tapped his foot a little more than usual, and her bared collarbone caught his eye.

Above all, he was hoping she’d tell him that it was intentional, and she wasn’t just looking for attention.

———

Trina gave a weak nod, biting her lip. “Yes. I really do like you a lot.” Along with nearly all of Mendel’s students staring at them, some of her students were giving them a curious glance too. She smiled at them reassuringly.

Attention was truly the last thing she wanted at that moment, because it made her immensely uncomfortable. Her students seemed to catch onto that, as they looked away. They were the sweetest.

“I- uh, I hope you feel the same, and if you don’t, I hope this isn’t weird now..” she trailed off nervously, biting down on her lip harder until it bled.

———

“God, Trina, you have _no_ idea,” he laughed nervously.

Mendel was still spaced out after she confessed her attraction to him. He just assumed the rest of his days would be weddings in his head and him and his right hand.

“Huh. I, uh, it’s actually kind of a funny story. I’ve liked you since I started working here. Well, not here, but the school. You’re older than me. You aren’t old, just old _er_. Not old, though. So, what I mean is that you were working here before me.”

_Keep talking, Mendel. This is getting you somewhere. Is it?_

He gave a warning look to his students, who seemed to have a distinct buzz coming from their tables.

———

“You have..?” she asked, like it was news to her. It really wasn’t, but the confirmation was nice.

Grinding her teeth together anxiously, she tried to maintain eye contact without staring. God, he looked amazing. He always did, in her opinion.

 _You never discuss a woman’s age, Mendel, you dumbass,_ was basically the only nervous thought running through her mind, too overwhelmed to think anything else.

———

“Yes. Yeah,” he said, pinching the bridge of his nose. Mendel downed his coffee.

He looked up, meeting her dark eyes. Dark brown, that is.

Mendel didn’t have a plan of action for this. At all. Would it be unprofessional to have a relationship with her? Would it be a problem?

After this trip, he was pretty sure their classes would know exactly what was going on together. What a delight it’d be for their parents.

 _Hey, mom, my art teacher and my drama teacher are sleeping together_.

He was so screwed, with or without a relationship with her.

———

Trina reached for a tissue, holding it to her bleeding lip. She wasn’t normally hungry in mornings, but she definitely wasn’t now. Her stomach fluttered with butterflies of anxiety and infatuation.

“So.. what happens now?”

Although most students weren’t staring at them anymore, she could tell they were on the edge of their seats. So was she, truthfully. God, how she wanted this to end. She’d never been so nervous in her life.

Glancing away, her brain was blocking out all sounds, except his voice. She loved his voice, but not in this context. He should just shut up and kiss her again. Not that she was gonna initiate that.

———

He hadn’t even noticed her lip bleeding, being all too caught up in his inner monologue.

“Now. Huh. Well, that’s...a question. Of course it’s a question. Yeah.”

Mendel felt like he was going to throw up. Was it hot in there? Yes, it was, but that certainly wasn’t the point.

He’d spent his teaching life fawning over a woman, and as soon as she confesses, he hasn’t the faintest idea what to say.

“Now. Now-now? Or just now?” Mendel stuttered clumsily, attempting to cross his legs but imminently hitting his knee on the underside of the table as he did so.

———

“Just now.”

His hesitancy to give an answer made her even more insecure and

nervous. “Are you rejecting me..?” she asked, her voice breaking involuntarily.

She crossed her legs and bounced her leg up and down, her pumps nearly falling off. She regretted _everything_. People seemed to have lost interest, which was the only upside to this.

She looked a mess, she was sure of it. With her plain face and bleeding lip, she wished she’d have stayed upstairs.

———

He was about to make a woman cry in front of around 15 of her eager students, and his fruitless attempt to recover it wouldn’t be considered a victory of his.

“No—I’m absolutely not. Rejecting you, I mean. No. You’re...a very beautiful woman. And you’re very smart. Very smart.”

He shifted uneasily, not certain how he was supposed to approach this situation.

“And I like you. It’s embarrassing, Trina, really. Of course I want something between us, but I wouldn’t say, in my opinion, that I’m good as a partner. I won’t say boyfriend, because I’m twenty seven years old.”

———

There was always a but, wasn’t there? “I wouldn’t say that. I’m sure that’s not true, and I hope you’re not using it as an excuse so you don’t have to be with me.”

She kept a straight face, although she was probably about to break her fingers. Her sore lip stung immensely, and she felt her chest tighten. She still kept up the facade of calmness, for her students.

“I would get over it at some point if you don’t wanna be with me. You don’t have to lie to spare my feelings and dignity.”

———

“I do want to be with you. More than you think I do, I think. I very much want to be with you, because it’d really be an honour. I’m very distressed.”

Mendel rubbed his face, sighing. He had to make sure he kept his voice down, and he was at risk of blowing a fuse at any given moment.

“This is...hellish. Believe me. I am sacrificing any dignity I had left before this trip by saying that I think you’re a very wonderful woman, and I want nothing more than to be with you.”

Oh, he was such a sad, sad man. It was almost pitiful. As well as excruciatingly difficult to word this.

“Please don’t think I’m sparing you. If anything, I’m doing the opposite.”

———

Trina glanced at her watch, sighing. “It’s nearly time. We should just continue this conversation tonight.”

She stood, announcing that they had to be outside in 20 minutes. Keeping a smile on her face, she went upstairs to ‘do her makeup’.

As soon as she reached her room, she burst into tears of anxiety and insecurity. She kept quiet, and still tried to make herself look somewhat presentable.

———

Mendel was so incredibly and undeniably fucked. At least there was a ‘tonight’, whatever that meant for them.

His fifteen minutes consisted of trying to organise a bunch of fifteen year olds and _‘no, Lauren, we weren’t ‘getting it on’, we were talking.’_

He wasn’t functioning as well as he would with Trina around, and she’d probably went upstairs to take out her frustration on the unborrowed pillow. Of course.

He stood outside of the hotel, dismissing any comments from students, and making conversation with others who weren’t so interested in his personal affairs.

The day would be interesting at best, and that was to say the least. Mendel was emotionally bracing himself for a day of being blanked completely by Trina, and trailing behind her because she had a nice ass.

———

After about 15 minutes of struggling to put on makeup, she finally pulled herself together and went back downstairs.

Trina got them in the bus pretty quickly, and she sat down in the front, staring out the window with a small, strained smile.

She wasn’t looking forward to this day as much as she hoped in the morning, but she could pull through. She wasn’t about to let her fucked love life ruin these kids’ trip. She loved those kids too much for her to let it affect them.

Trina couldn’t help but dread his presence, though, as she’d probably cry again if he was near her.

———

Mendel sat beside her, much to his miserable dismay. He couldn’t tell if _he’d_ been rejected. She cut him off and shot him down after he’d told her what he thought.

He shifted in his seat. He suddenly felt like the year between them had increased. More like ten years, by how immature he felt.

Mendel very much wanted to go home, pour himself a glass of wine, and cry or something. Oh, god, that was dejecting. Well and truly.

Maybe he’d be hit by an oncoming bus, and so he wouldn’t have to face the idea of Trina not wanting to look at him.

———

Trina heard him sit down next to her, and it pained her too much to not do anything. “Hey,” she said, glancing over at him briefly.

She felt incredibly uncomfortable and guilty, and she turned her gaze back to the landscape, which had started moving.

She already missed feeling his touch. She just couldn’t resist, could she? She put her hand on his thigh, giving him a small, genuine smile, although she was radiating anxiety and sadness.

“You had some trouble with the kids, didn’t you? I love them, but they’re difficult sometimes.”

———

“Hey,” he replied, reposing as she spoke.

Mendel was nothing less than bewildered as she set her hand on his thigh. He shifted a little closer, setting his hand over hers gingerly. He was just hoping it wasn’t as visible as he thought.

“Not so much them being difficult as me being a pushover,” he said. “It’s awful. I might as well not be a teacher. I’m just a casual friend to the kids right now.”

He hated to admit that he was maybe too relaxed with them, and although he got things done, it was hard for him to be taken seriously. His entire class was volatile, as much as he loved them.

———

“Well, at least that means they like you, right?” She shot him another smile, resisting the urge to rest her head on his shoulder. Maybe someday.

To be frank, she very much liked physical affection, even though she rarely got it. She just hoped the conversation would go well that evening, so that maybe, just maybe, something would actually happen.

“They were probably kind of riled up from our conversation too. They’re so invested in your personal life. What’s that about?”

She tilted her head. Her students weren’t quite as eager as Mendel’s, and it confused her why his students were so intense about it.

———

“That’ll be because I talk about you more than I talk about theatre. That is _so_ unprofessional. They’re very intense, being drama kids and stuff. They want to know the ins and outs of things”.

Mendel was close with his class, as peculiar as it sounded. They were compatible enough to make progress, but lighthearted enough to laugh.

He was touch starved, more than anything. He hadn’t been in a relationship, even in his oh-so-exhilarating college years.

He’d came to the conclusion that the two of them, a tragic pair of almost-but-not-quite-lovers, weren’t the best or wisest choice for chaperoning a trip. All hell ought to have broken out by Friday.

———

She laughed. “My students are the exact opposite. They’re very calm and gentle. They like shutting up, listening to music, and painting. It’s relaxing.”

Trina was perceived as a mom to her students, and they often came to her if they had any issues. It made her happy, since she’d always wanted children, but never found the person she wanted to have them with. Until now, of course.

She was kicking herself mentally for thinking so far forward, since she didn’t even know if they were going to be a thing or not. It stressed her out, but she tried her best to mask that. This was the students’ trip, and they were gonna have fun, damnit.

Reaching into her purse, she gave one of the motion sick students a bottle of water, as she kind of uncomfortably leaned over him. It reminded her of the previous night, and she felt something tug at her heartstrings.

———

Mendel just liked hearing her speak. She spoke slowly and quietly. Strongly, though. He’d happily let her talk him to sleep.

He shifted a little when she leaned over him, and it took so much of his moral strength not to glance down. If you know what I mean, of course.

As she settled back, he cleared his throat. “So, I guess your class is like having a bunch of weirdly well-behaved kids? I have the delinquents, I guess.”

Mendel didn’t know where to take the conversation, or what to say, or where to look, or how to speak.

He ran a hand through his hair haphazardly, a sheen of sweat forming on his hairline.

———

Trina nodded with a smile. “Yeah. They’re the sweetest things. They’re my angels, and I love them so much,” she mused. It was probably weird to him, but she tried to brush that off.

She reached over to fix his hair with her free hand, smiling at him. His curls were so soft. “There.”

She felt very nervous, but not as nervous as she did before, and certainly not as nervous as him. His hands were sweaty, and even though she didn’t mind, it made her feel bad for him.

“I hope you don’t mind that we’re talking about our students so much.”

———

Trina viewed her students in a way that wasn’t at all similar to how he viewed his. His students were people he liked to call a task, but were ultimately brighter than he could ask for.

Mendel blinked quickly as she reached over to fix his hair. He would die, and he was sure of it. She had a woman’s touch, no doubt about it.

He was terrified to do so much as make eye contact with her; there was the fear he’d say something too much, or something he wasn’t supposed to. He didn’t know common courtesy in relationships, and therefore not a thing about courtship.

He wiped his free hand on his trousers, cursing internally. He was pathetic, in more ways than one.

———

Trina could tell how nervous he was, and the look in his eyes could break her heart. “Hey,” she spoke gently. “It’s okay. You don’t need to be nervous.”

She turned her hand and intertwined their fingers, squeezing his hand affectionately. She wasn’t too good at keeping cool when it came to comforting.

Truthfully, she just really wanted to kiss him again. She gave him a reassuring smile. “What’s the program for today, again?” She knew, she just really wanted to hear him speak again.

A few students stared at them as they both looked lovestruck, and Trina smiled at them too, urging them to go back to what they were doing.

———

He gave a borderline hysterical laugh. “I’m not nervous. The air conditioning is crappy,” he mused, looking up briefly.

Mendel well and truly succumbed as she took his hand in her own. He needed that, as much as he hated to say so.

His nervousness managed to twist itself into a giddy lightness. “Art gallery first. We’re there until one thirty, which is really tedious— _sorry,_ ” he said, momentarily forgetting she was an art teacher. “Then a lecture...thing about theatre. I don’t care for it at all.”

———

Trina nodded along as he talked, with a gentle smile. “I don’t think it’s tedious. Although that’s probably expected of me,” she laughed. “I think you really have to look at art for a long time for you to truly appreciate it.”

She glanced down with a faint blush on her cheeks. “That probably sounds _insanely_ pretentious, sorry— art is just really important to me, I guess.”

She truly despised herself in that moment. He was probably turned off by her passion for something so stupid. She sighed, a bit shaky.

———

Mendel found her passion endearing. Intensely so.

“It doesn’t sound pretentious. You have an eye for art, and you can take the time for that. I’m...very physical. I move a lot. I’m a kinaesthetic learner, and a physical teacher,” he rambled, more trying to soothe and impress than anything.

He cleared his throat for what seemed like the 50th time. “I didn’t—sorry for—“ he started and stopped. “I didn’t mean tedious. I meant...not my thing?”

Mendel was about to reverse the bus over his ankles.

“Yes. Sorry.”

———

“That’s alright. I get it. Art just means a little too much to me than it should,” she laughed softly.

“My parents were both artists, and I always used to paint with them when I was younger. I guess I inherited it from them. They were amazing people, but they died in a car crash when I was 16.. so I guess it’s also that connection.”

She sighed shakily again. “Sorry. That was unnecessary.” Trina rolled her eyes at herself. “I get it if you don’t like art. You don’t have to pretend you do for my sake.”

———

Mendel’s heart ached for her. The brightest smiles, huh? He felt the urge to kiss her, because he wasn’t good with words. Still, his impulse didn’t quite prevail.

“I’m sorry. That can’t have been easy on you,” he said, unsure of what else to say. “It’s not that I’m pretending to like it—I think art is...interesting. Theatre is art. Music is art. I guess it just happens that my preferred art isn’t painting or drawing or whatever else there is. That sounded ignorant, and I’m sorry. _Jesus.”_

He shifted in his seat again, feeling all too hot in his seat. “I haven’t seen any of your work. I hadn’t thought about that until now. Not that you have to show me. You know, I just—“

———

“It’s alright. It was 12 years ago, so I’m fine now. And I have my sketchbook with me, if you wanna see.”

She rummaged through her purse, pulling out her sketchbook and handing it to him. “It’s really bad, I know, so don’t laugh at me.”

She fiddled with her hair, avoiding his gaze, too afraid his eyes would become judgy. “It really is hot in here, huh?” She took off her cardigan, sighing lightly. “Sorry.”

———

Mendel took the book from her, very nearly dropping it. He flipped through it, taken aback by her works. She had potential. God knows she had the talent to go further than teaching. Still life seemed to be her thing.

As she took off her cardigan, he felt his cheeks heat up further. She had excellent shoulders, without it sounding too weird. He bit his lip a little, trying not to grow too distracted by her bare skin.

“This is really something, Trina. This is big,” he said, looking up from the book. “I guessed you’d be good, but...jeez. Really,” Mendel added, handing her the book and taking his opportunity to set his hand on her thigh this time around.

———

Trina got a hopeful smile on her face, blushing lightly. “You really think so..?” She often felt like she wasn’t living up to her parents’ potential, since she was just a teacher.

She wasn’t sure if she wanted to go further, though, as she loved her kids and didn’t really have the confidence to try. There wasn’t anyone to talk her up anymore.

She smiled a little brighter when he put his hand on her thigh, and she put the book back in her purse. “Thank you. It means a lot. More than you know.”

———

Mendel nodded. “It’s nothing. Really,” he said.

He glanced down at his hand. “Do you think something will come up if this gets out? Sure, it isn’t professional, but it could be a lot worse.”

Probably not the best thing to say. Then again, he rarely ever said the right thing. He rarely _did_ the right thing.

He gently squeezed her thigh as he glanced out of the window, but was quick to retract his hand.

“Sorry—-That was purely on impulse—“

———

Trina took his hand, guiding it back to her thigh. “That’s alright. And I’m not sure. I don’t think we’ll get into too much trouble. At least, I hope not,” she laughed nervously.

“I don’t know. I wish I did.” She sighed, glancing towards the bus driver, who announced that they had arrived.

She stood, gathering the students and telling them how to behave. They were split up into groups of four outside, and Trina waited for him to come out so she could enter. She didn’t want to go without him.

———

He was grateful that they’d granted the kids moderate freedom. That meant they wouldn’t have to split up. Which meant he got to stare at Trina while she stared at the art. He’d be damned if he wasn’t ready for that.

Mendel had to stop himself from taking her hand. Upon the groups dispersing, he turned back to her with a pensive look on his face.

“So. Two hours alone, huh?” He mused, scratching the back of his neck with the pressure of not knowing what to say.

Good _god_ , she had an incredible figure.

———

Trina nodded with a gentle smile, taking his hand in a loose grip as soon as the students were out of sight.

She led him towards one of the rooms, one that was empty, but had great paintings. Looking around with stars in her eyes, she had some trouble picking out one to focus on.

She felt a little irresponsible for leaving the kids alone, but her class knew how to appreciate art and behave. She could only hope Mendel’s class did too, or at least knew how to do the latter.

Gazing at one of the paintings, she sighed dreamily, absentmindedly and quietly singing to herself. She didn’t even realize she was doing it.

———

His class knew how to behave. In public, at least.

Mendel’s knees felt weak as she took his hand. Even more so as he caught a glimpse of her expression. Her lips (which he thought were almost too damn kissable) were parted slightly, and her eyes were bright. Almost unusually so.

As she sang softly, he fell a little too much further in love with her. He took her forearm gently, turning her attention to him before kissing her the way she’d kissed him the night previous.

And heaven knows it was one of his best choices.

———

Trina raised her eyebrows slightly, before kissing him back and cupping his cheek. It felt nearly electric, and she eventually pulled back to catch her breath.

She laughed lightly, looking into his eyes lovingly. “ _Damn_ , Weisenbachfeld.” Slowly moving her hand to his, she guided him towards the abandoned bench against the wall.

Sitting down with him, she gave him a lovestruck, bright smile. “That was.. amazing.” She really hadn’t expected him to do that.

———

Mendel would’ve been rendered speechless if not for: “I love the way you say my last name.”

Stupid, but the frankly nonsensical thought was still there. He sat beside her, cheeks tinted a deep pink. At least she thought he was a good kisser. That was one of a hundred problems crossed off.

“I— _sorry._ You looked very...you. I can’t tell you’re an artist. It’s beautiful. You’re beautiful,” he said, speaking what seemed far too fast.

Had he planned to kiss her? No. God, there was the looming chance they’d been spotted by a student. It wasn’t wrong, of course. Just not ‘professional.’

———

Trina shook her head, holding his hands in a gentle grip. “You don’t have to apologize. God, I’ve wanted to kiss you for so long..” she mused.

She’d been hiding her affection for so long, it felt amazing to finally show him how much she love- _liked_ him.

Glancing around the room, she noticed that there was really no one in sight. Unusual, but not unpleasant. “We should do that more often,” she laughed.

She was aware they were basically stumbling through the day blind, but she didn’t mind. She just wanted to seize the moment, the moment where they were the only people on earth.

———

“You can really kiss like hell,” he said, a giddy laugh following.

He was almost ashamed to admit he loved her, and he was sure he had more pride than that. She really had him wrapped around her finger.

“We should. I mean—it’s nice. Really nice,” he said.

Mendel was then so graciously granted the feeling of insecurity. If they were to take this further, she’d be disappointed. He could just about see it happening. Of course, he wanted to be everything she wanted, but was it so easy?

———

Trina nodded with a breathy laugh in reply. “So.. uh, we should probably define this. Us. Are we, like, a _thing_?”

She resisted the urge to start fussing with her hair again, since she was still holding his hands. She bit her gum instead.

“I mean, it doesn’t have to be if you don’t want it, again—“ She found herself unusually nervous. She wished she knew what to say to woo him. _She wasn’t normally this flustered and stupid._

“I’m sorry,” she finally added.

———

Mendel hardly hesitated.

“No—don’t apologise. I’m really awful at this, and if I knew what to say, I’d say it. I _want_ us to be a thing. I’ve wanted it for a while. A long while. Is that grammatically correct? I love your eyes.”

He wouldn’t get through the week if he kept on like this. He had so much to say and not enough time to say it. They had boundaries, but he couldn’t define them.

“I don’t know what to say. I’m sorry.”

———

“Don’t be sorry, it’s okay.. So.. I guess we’re a thing, then.” She smiled, squeezing his hands.

Although she was ecstatic, she felt very fatigued too. “We should go to the cafeteria. I haven’t eaten anything all day. I’m not sure if you have, but still—”

She had a pretty lousy eating pattern. She knew it was bad for her, but her mind was mostly occupied with other things. She stood up, gently pulling him up with her.

———

Mendel nodded. He hadn’t eaten, but food just didn’t appeal to him. He ate because he had to. “We’re a thing. Yeah,” he nodded again, eyebrows raised a little.

“Lunch is on me,” he said as he stood up. Mendel was disappointed upon realising he’d have to let go of her hand.

He was a little overwhelmed, if anything. It was a lot to take on, especially in his current state. She was interested in him, and he was still struggling to accept that. Shocker.

———

“Oh, really, there’s no need— I can pay too. I don’t mind.” She led him towards the cafe, sitting down at a table. It was.. cozy, remarkably so. There was faint jazz music playing from a record player, and it made her feel comfortable.

Taking a menu, she flicked through it. She really didn’t feel like anything, although maybe that was partially caused by his promise to pay. She didn’t want to choose something expensive, and by expensive, she meant anything higher than 5 dollars including a drink. That was gonna be hard in NYC.

“What are you choosing?” she finally asked, giving up on choosing for herself.

———

Mendel hadn’t thought much about himself. He was more focused on her, than anything. He glanced at her, and her curious expression melted his heart.

“I don’t know. Pasta,” he said, picking something as though he’d blindly thrown a dart. He didn’t care that much.

“And you?” Mendel asked in reply, gently nudging her bare leg beneath the table again.

He was already tired of the day, but kept up his spirit for the kids. He wanted to get back to the hotel. Where, with all luck, he’d have an excellent conversation with Trina, and maybe kiss her a little more.

———

Well, shit, she was definitely not gonna order that. It was basically their first date, and you don’t order pasta on your first date, because there is literally no way to look attractive while eating it. Mendel  would probably figure it out, though.

She smiled at the nudge, blushing lightly. “Uhh..” she trailed off, her eyes flickering over the menu once more. “A salad or something.” _No, Trina, don’t, that’s basic._ “I don’t know. I really don’t,” she laughed. “I’m very indecisive.”

She sighed, hoping she’d get more time to think about it before the waiter came to their table.

———

His knowledge of date etiquette was almost nonexistent. He was a gentleman, but as far as dates went, he was hopeless.

“I’m indecisive. Not right now, but I am most of the time,” he explained with a vague gesture. Mendel tapped his foot, cursing himself for making it about himself.

As the waiter approached, he noticed the glint of fear in her eyes. Mendel had nothing if he didn’t have knowledge of her preferences.

Upon being confronted by the waiter, Mendel offered a small smile.

“Uhh—tomato and basil pasta, and chicken Caesar salad but without tomatoes,” he said gently. The waiter nodded, letting them know it wouldn’t take long.

“You‘re allergic to tomatoes, right?”

———

Trina nodded, a little surprised that he knew that. “Yeah. It sucks. And you’re lactose intolerant?” She didn’t even know how she knew that. He might’ve told her while rambling some time.

She crossed her legs, sighing gently. “Again, you don’t have to pay. I can do it too, you know.”

She felt a little guilty for letting him pay, although she didn’t know why. They had lousy salaries, so they basically had to save everything that wasn’t lost on rent and food expenses, which was basically nothing.

———

“Yeah, I am,” he replied, feeling an odd sense of satisfaction. Purely because she knew that about him. “I’m paying because it’s polite, and you deserve it,” Mendel said, tapping his foot anxiously.

He knew their salaries weren’t all that, but he managed. A couple days without breakfast meant wine or beer on Saturdays. Half a bottle, as he wasn’t big on drinking. Don’t let that get out, though

“Do you want something to drink? I’ll get that for you. Sorry. That was rude.”

———

“No, it’s alright, Mendel, really. Water’s fine, thank you.” She never ate breakfast, which helped her savings. She basically lived off of 1000-1500 calories a day. It was good for her finances, but horrible for her body. It was probably why she was so skinny.

She sat back slightly, rubbing the back of her neck. She really wanted to know more about him. Even though he was the colleague she was closest with, and now her partner, and despite his frequent ramblings, she didn’t know that much about him, and that saddened her to an extent.

“I can get it too, you know.”

———

Without sounding too grim or self-pitying, Mendel was used to people letting what he said go over their heads.

He expressed himself through theatre and through speaking. He spoke about things more than he wrote or texted.

“If you insist. But I’m getting it. Really—it’s not too much—“ he said quickly, shifting restlessly in his seat.

“Tell me more about yourself,” he offered.

 _Of course. The most cliché line in history_.

———

Trina was caught a little off-guard by that, since she didn’t really think of herself as interesting.

“Well, alright. You basically already know my childhood, with my parents and the crash and stuff.” She paused briefly.

“I lived alone from 16, since I didn’t really want to get attached to another family member. I started studying art, partially to honor my parents, but also for myself, of course.”

“After I finished studying, I started working at this school. I really didn’t have the courage to put myself out there, since my parents weren’t there anymore to boost my confidence. Plus, I loved children, so I figured this would be safe.” With a gentle sigh, she stopped again.

“I probably sound very self-pitying and pathetic, but that’s not what I mean. I’m sorry. Well, anyways, my story’s not that interesting. I made some friends, and kept working, met you.. and that’s really pretty much it. I’m boring, I know.”

———

Mendel figured she was stronger than she thought, and more insecure than her first interpreted.

“I find you thrilling. Inspiring. Very inspiring. You’re one hell of an artist, and I’m sure your parents would be proud.”

He felt like that wasn’t the right thing to say.

“I know your story, but what about you? Tell me about your interests, and music and film you like. Colours you like. What you don’t like.”

———

She sighed again. “Thank you.. I, uhh- I like vintage stuff a lot. My favorite movie is Pulp Fiction, if that says anything. I like soft and gentle music, stuff like Elliott Smith or Fleetwood Mac. It helps me unwind. I like theatrical music too, though. Mamma Mia! and Crazy Ex-Girlfriend, as broad as that spectrum can be sometimes.”

She was already convinced she was talking too much. “I’m very interested in things like feminism too. There’s a lot of interesting stuff to read about it.” Did that sound condescending? She sure as hell hoped not.

“I’ve always wanted to travel the world, I just never could. I’ll probably never get to, either, with the money I make. I guess that’s something I really don’t like, how small my life is. I’ve always wanted to go to Greece or Cuba.”

———

 _Pulp Fiction_. Very ‘not-Trina’.

“Fleetwood Mac. Neat,” he said, nodding. “ _Neat?_ Sorry.”

Mendel was more nerves than anything at that moment. He hated that he couldn’t flirt. “It didn’t sound condescending. It made you sound smart. Which you are. I’m sure you could travel someday. Hey, with us being a thing—no, nevermind.”

He could’ve suggested it, but they had boundaries. Sure, they’d known each other for a while, but they’d only been together for thirty minutes.

———

“What do you mean, never mind? You’ve made me curious now,” she said with a warm, eager smile. Glancing at her watch, she was dismayed by the fact they only had about an hour left. Time goes too fast.

A few students walked by and lingered in the doorway, before Trina urged them to move along with a vague gesture. She turned back to him.

“Sorry. Go on.” She leaned forward slightly and rested her head in her hand, even though it hurt her wrist.

———

Mendel glanced at the students, and he sighed.

“Curious, right? No, it doesn’t matter, Trina. I would’ve suggested that I could help you pay for your travelling, but there are things I shouldn’t say. I don’t have a grip of that, as you can tell. I’m sorry for that.”

Mendel focused on her now, and she never failed to amaze him. Her cheekbones were strong, and she had freckles around her eyes, and her nose sloped perfectly. Her eyes were something he could put into words, but it’d be such a variety of words that it wouldn’t make sense if you read it. Her lips. Jesus, did he want to kiss them.

———

Trina gazed at him dreamily, a little distracted by the dimples in his cheeks that were masked slightly by his stubble. “No, it’s okay, sweetheart.”

She didn’t even realize she used a pet name for him, since she was borderline zoned out. “You should tell me your story. I barely know anything about you. I wanna know.”

She leaned forward some more, shifting her chair closer to the table. There was some resistance from her ribs, but she ignored it as she continued to stare at him.

———

He felt a blush threaten to rise as she called him ‘sweetheart’. He fought it, sipping his water and shifting in his seat, feeling the plastic.

“My story is nothing much. I had a pretty normal childhood. Very jewish,” he said as he ran a hand through his hair. “Huh. I studied drama and theatre, and here I am. There’s not so much I can say.”

He suddenly felt very boring. He didn’t have an inspirational story similar to Trina’s. His dad left when he was 15, but he didn’t deem that as something key to his life.

“Sorry.”

———

Trina tilted her head. “Why are you apologizing? It’s okay, really.” Their food arrived, and she took a few bites of the salad. It was shitty, but that was to be expected, and he paid, so she just politely ate it.

“Well, I’m at least glad your story isn’t like mine. Not like mine is bad. I’m like James from James and the Giant Peach, if his parents died later on, and his aunts were just the cockroaches and mice that lived in a sad one room apartment.”

She sighed. “That’s stupid. I was just really into Roald Dahl as a kid, so comparing myself to those characters became a sort of coping mechanism that I haven’t let go of yet. I’m rambling, I’m sorry.”

———

The food really wasn’t good. He gave up with it half way through. Great.

Mendel listened intently, a little dazed. He found it interesting how she compared herself like that. “I don’t think that’s stupid. My mom is a psychiatrist, see. So I know what I’m talking about, I guess.”

He wasn’t sure he liked how insecure she was. It upset him, because what was he to do when he couldn’t comfort her?

Well, he’d have to grit his teeth. “How’s the salad?” He asked, pursing his lips.

———

“It’s fine,” she lied, sipping her water to get the awful taste out of her mouth. She was just praying neither of them would get food poisoning from this garbage.

“Oh! You know what was a nice part of my childhood? My bat mitzvah. It was so much fun.. my parents helped me plan it. I couldn’t decide on a theme, so we went with both flowers and dance,” she laughed giddily.

“Did you have a nice bar mitzvah? I’m sure it was a huge event.”

———

Mendel glanced at her.

“You really don’t have to finish that,” he commented. “The food here is...really something.”

He was happy enough just to look at her, and listen to her. She seemed truly excited to talk about that, and he wasn’t about to dismiss that.

“I will admit, I didn’t know that you’re jewish,” Mendel stated with a dozy smile. “Which is fine, by the way. I’m jewish. Obviously. My bar mitzvah was fine. It was simple, and traditional.”

He looked back up at her with his expression softening. He sat back and wiped his palms on his cheap trousers, nerves just as prominent as ever.

———

Trina sighed in relief, sipping her water some more. “I thought I was the only one who hated it. I’m sorry you have to pay for this,” she laughed.

“Really? I always thought I looked pretty Jewish. With my nose and hair and such.” She tilted her head slightly. “I’ve never heard of a simple bar mitzvah before. All the ones I’ve been to were very big, with this huge venue rented out and lots of people invited and such.”

She’d noticed the look in his eyes, and how nervous he seemed to be. “Are you okay?” She frowned a little in concern. “I hope you are..”

———

“I’m fine. Really. A-okay,” he replied within the second. “I’m fine.”

Mendel wasn’t liking how obvious he was. If he was obvious, she’d catch on that he was nervous (if she hadn’t already). He had no way with women.

“No, it was simple. I didn’t have a ton of people to invite, so it sufficed, but it wasn’t huge,” he explained. Mendel sipped his water, purely for something to do. He didn’t want to risk talking at her for the next ten minutes.

———

“Huh.. I wonder what that would’ve looked like.” She looked up as she tried to imagine it, her eyebrows still a little furrowed. “You probably didn’t like your bar mitzvah that much, since you’re not the biggest fan of religion.”

“It’s really fine if you’re nervous. It’s just that you don’t have to be. It’s alright,” she couldn’t help but say. She just wanted to comfort him. She took his hand over the table, squeezing it affectionately.

As she looked into his eyes with a reassuring smile, she seemed to fall in love with him again. He looked so cute and endearing. He always did, really.

———

“It was boring,” he said. “I mean, not so much boring as dull.”

He would’ve questioned her knowledge of his views, but decided against it, as he was mainly just grateful she’d picked up on it. Maybe Trina listened more than he knew, and the thought both comforted him and terrified him. Then again, it didn’t matter too much when she was sitting, painted in the crappy lights of a cafe after they’d kissed twice.

“Religion is a trap, in my opinion. There’s a chance I’m wrong, but I feel like it causes a little too much conflict, you know? It’s a bunch of crap. I still celebrate and stuff. I don’t have anything against Judaism—obviously not. I just feel like it’s...religion as a whole,” he rambled, hand gestures by the dozen. Trina did look kinda Jewish, come to think of it.

She smiled, and he almost told her everything.

———

How she wished she could say she felt the same, but that would be lying, and she wasn’t about to lie on their first date. She sighed, as if she was preparing herself for him to stop liking her.

“I actually like religion a lot,” she said, speaking slower than usual. “Maybe it’s just because my ancestry means a lot to me, but I like all the traditions and stuff. It’s comforting to me.”

She thumbed at her dress, becoming increasingly nervous as well. What if that was a dealbreaker for him?

Looking up at him, she braced herself.

———

Mendel nodded. “My family are the same way. Sure, I’m proud of my ancestry. I don’t blame you for liking religion,” he said, rubbing the back of his neck and diverting his gaze.

He’d come across as an asshole, no doubt. It was more than likely that she didn’t even like him to begin with, but was more so interested in having somebody.

“Drama teachers, huh?” Mendel tried, voice laced with a nervous tone. “I say too much about pointless things. It’s awful.”

———

Trina shook her head. “I don’t think it’s awful. I think it’s adorable. Plus, I get to know more about you. It’s a win-win situation to me.”

She reached over, tilting his head back to her gently. “It’s okay,” she whispered softly with a sweet, small smile.

She was, frankly, also terrified, but she really wanted to help him. It seemed only fair, after the years of pining on both sides. It must’ve been horrible for him, she figured, with how nervous he always seemed to be. Then again, wasn’t she also constantly anxious?

———

Mendel, being realistic, was in a constant state of drunken-looking anxiety. He covered it moderately well with a visage of bright smiles. Bright smiles, albeit borderline odd-looking.

He resisted the constant temptation of leaning over to kiss her. As she tilted his head to her, he very nearly leaned into the touch.

“We should probably go,” he said after looking at his phone, and then back to her. “Not that I want to—we just have a schedule. As you know.”

_Very smooth. Ultimate charmer._

———

Trina nodded, standing up and clutching her purse with a slightly disappointed look. “I’ll go pay.” She was stubborn, and she felt like she owed him.

After paying way too much for that _garbage_ , she came back. “I guess we won’t be alone until tonight. Isn’t that sad?”

She didn’t await his response, however, as she leaned in to kiss him softly. They’d have to go out on a bang, she decided, as she rested one hand on his cheek, and the other on his hip.

“Let’s go, then.”

———

He was less than impressed when she paid for the food. He made a note to pay her back. Mendel opened his mouth, intending to express how disappointed he was that they wouldn’t be alone until later, but was very pleased there _was_ a ‘tonight’.

Thankfully, he was cut off in the best way he could think of at that point. He made a noise of surprise as she kissed him, and he remained stoic for a second too long. After comprehending what was going on, he kissed back, absentmindedly holding her forearm.

Upon pulling away, his cheeks were almost worryingly dark, and his eyes had clouded over.

“Yeah. Let’s go,” he said in a daze.

———

Trina smiled, leading him outside where the students started gathering. A few of them snickered at Mendel’s red face and her triumphant smirk.

Everyone entered the bus, and as soon as they sat down, she took his hand in a loving grip again. She gave him the window seat this time, as that seemed fair.

“So, theatre lecture, huh? Is there someone you’d know speaking?” She tilted her head. Even though she liked theatre, he probably knew more about it than her.

———

Mendel gave a withering look to a group of his students, clicking his tongue. It didn’t help that Trina looked smug as ever.

He relaxed upon sitting down, as his feet were already aching. As she took his hand, he held onto it as if it was the last thing he’d ever do.

“Nobody I know. Never been to Queens,” he said, recalling their conversation on the too-short journey here. “It sounds pretty boring. I can’t just sit around, and I know I should be interested, but this is more about the kids education and stuff. I’m a physical teacher, like I said. I have to be doing something constantly.”

———

“Yeah, I get that. I have a Tangle toy, so maybe you could play with that. Keep your hands busy and stuff,” she shrugged. Her purse was basically a Mary Poppins bag. With her role as the mom-teacher, she had everything anyone could ever need.

“Or you could just hold my hand,” she laughed, as she brushed her thumb over the back of his hand. “You have a strong grip.” That was understandable to her, since that was the only way they could be intimate on the bus journey.

She glanced outside over his shoulders, the streets looking a little grey and bleak. It was slightly saddening.

———

Mendel loosened his grip slightly.

“Sorry. I didn’t realise,” he said, laughing nervously. “Habit.”

It absolutely wasn’t habit, because holding somebody’s hand wasn’t something he frequently did. Mendel wasn’t so used to any form of affection, whether it be something as simple as hand-holding, or something ultimately, in his opinion, as groundbreaking as kissing. Specifically kissing Trina.

“Thanks, though.”

———

“No, that’s alright. I didn’t say it was a bad thing.”

She really couldn’t resist. She raised their hands, and she pressed a kiss to the back of his hand.

She liked seeing him blush, as weird as that might sound. She thought it was adorable and endearing, and it showed her he was into the things she did.

“We’re almost there already. I’m not sure why we didn’t keep the bus parked at the museum if it’s so close,” she complained.

———

He did have the urge to kiss her right there, but he settled on kiss to the back of his hand. He was grateful they were sitting at the back; this meant they were out of sight of those in front of them.

“I know. Pollution, right? It saves me from having a never ending foot ache, I guess. My back is killing me, too. You can really tell I’m getting older,” he said, sighing dramatically.

As the coach came to a halt, he sighed. He stood up, glancing back at Trina with a look that said ‘ _please help’._ He was a teacher, but he wasn’t good with kids. Especially when his students saw him as a friend.

———

Trina laughed quietly, standing and gathering the kids outside. She gave them a sort of pre-lecture lecture, before sending them inside.

She sat down with him in the back, and she handed him the fidget toy. She’d internalized what he said about his back, and almost subconsciously, her hand drifted to his back as she started rubbing gentle circles on it.

She rested her head on his shoulder, as she tried to keep her attention on the lecture, to no avail. Her mind was only on him.

———

He was grateful for the distance between them and the kids. As Trina handed him the toy, he felt immature, but understood it was for the best.

As Trina rubbed his back, he swore he almost cried. It seems he’d been dismissive in the face of Trina. Despite his attraction to her, it was very obvious she cared a little more than he thought.

“Thank you,” He said quietly, hand not-so-obviously resting on her thigh.

Much to his expectation, the lecture was dull. Draining, even. It was things they knew, and things he’d known for years. He thought about Trina instead. Trina’s smile, and her eyes, and the way she spoke when something interested her, and her legs (god, her _legs_ ). Everything about her, to be simple about it.

———

“Anything for you,” she whispered back.

She closed her eyes, a small smile on her face. She could hear the guy talking, but she really didn’t process anything he said. She focused on Mendel’s calm breathing, as she nestled into him a little further. She was basically sitting in his lap at that point.

She loved being so close to him. He was warm and soft, and it comforted her. It was nice to finally get some actual affection and love for the first time in 12 years.

———

Mendel was so sure he was in love with her. He’d fixated on that one sentence, and he felt like he could throw up from the butterflies it gave him. _Attractive._

Mendel happiness only grew as she moved closer to him. He could only just feel her gentle breathing on his shoulder.

He knew that it wasn’t what they should’ve been doing in a room of their students, but he had the unusual urge to show her off. She was too much of a blessing not to, see.

———

God, how she loved this kind of domestic safety. It felt like they’d been married for 25 years, even though they had only been together for 2 hours. It was kind of insane, in her opinion.

She should’ve said something way earlier, she realized in that moment. Maybe they would’ve been married by now if she said something years ago. It was a crazy and radical thought, but a bittersweet and true one nonetheless.

The lecture finally ended, and the students hurried out, back into the bus. They were clearly just as bored as they were. She stood, smiling at Mendel and stretching slightly.

———

Mendel would be damned if he hadn’t planned their wedding ten times over. It was something he deemed far out of reach by now.

As they walked out, he cleared his throat. He hadn’t a clue what to say.

“That was...interesting,” he mused, but knew that nobody other than the person speaking found it even remotely interesting.

Mendel stepped aside to let Trina onto the bus first, before following her and sitting down clumsily. Of course he tripped. Over nothing.

———

“Oh, jeez, you okay?” she laughed softly, her eyebrows furrowed nonetheless. “I hope this kind of thing isn’t on the schedule next year.”

The bus started moving, and she laid her head back down on his shoulder. She was insanely tired. Thank god they got to go back to the hotel already. It was a long drive, and she wasn’t sure if that was a good thing. She just wanted to sleep.

She took his hand again, gripping it loosely. She hoped he wasn’t turned off by her fatigue, or at least that he could ignore it.

———

Mendel sat down, cringing. “Absolutely. Uh-huh. I’m fine,” he assured her.

Mendel wasn’t as entertained as he’d have liked to have been. Predominantly, he wanted to go back to the hotel, and _spend his time with the woman he’d been obsessed with for too long._ But whatever. They’d have to be careful, he imagined. What, with the risk of a student knocking at either of their doors when they weren’t in the room, or worse, in the same room.

“At least we’re seeing that show tomorrow, right? You look tired. Not in a bad way. At all. You should sleep. It’s kind of a long ride back.”

———

“Oh, no, I’m not tired, I’m fine, really..” She closed her eyes for a moment, before blinking a couple times so she could stay awake.

“And yeah. A Midsummer Night’s Dream, right? I’m excited. I always loved Shakespeare.”

She glanced around the bus, seeing that everyone was mainly focused on each other or on their phones, which was good. It meant they could keep their eyes on each other.

———

“Right. Shakespeare was an asshole. Good work, though. Do you have a favourite of his works?” He inquired. Mendel was more interested about her than the rest of the trip. Moreover, he had more interest in her than anything.

A thought sparked; the most basic and most cliché idea. He ‘stretched’, subtly settling his arm over her shoulders and absentmindedly stroking her hair. He liked being so close to her, and he was blessed to notice everyone else’s attention being drawn elsewhere.

“You should sleep.”

———

“I’m not tired..” She was, surprisingly, tired. After a while, she did fall asleep, but not before replying with: “Othello.”

She slept fairly soundly, despite the, at times, rough movements of the coach. She talked in her sleep, and although she only mumbled, it still embarrassed her.

She was definitely going to hate herself when she woke up, but in that moment, she was very happy.

———

Mendel found her curious mumblings endearing, and inviting. He watched her as she slept, without sounding too odd. She looked peaceful when she slept. Not as troubled as she looked day-to-day. He would happily wake up beside her for the rest of his life if it meant he got to see her like this.

He tended to a few motion sick students, which meant he had to make a quick escape from her embrace. It wouldn’t surprise him if they all knew about them by this point.

Upon returning to his seat, he sighed softly. He was in love. Head over heels.

———

Trina woke up shortly after he returned, sitting up straight and rubbing her eyes. “Oh, _Jesus_ , I’m sorry for falling asleep..” she apologized profusely.

Her cheeks turned pink and she glanced around the bus once again. Everyone seemed to be completely fine. _Chill out, Trina._

Yawning softly, she looked out of the window, as the vehicle slowed. “We’re here.”

———

Mendel shook his head. “No, you don’t have to apologise. I think you needed that.

He stood up, offering his hand to help her up. He smiled a little at the gentle blush adorning her cheeks. God, she was perfect. To him, at least. How anyone could see anything otherwise was a mystery.

He tried calling above the noise, telling them to _‘chill out, it’s only a hotel_ ’. To no avail, of course. He could take some advice from Trina.

——

Trina stood up, smiling at him before raising her voice to instruct them what to do. Despite the quiet and gentle tone she normally spoke in, her voice could become very strong.

They seemed to listen to her, although they did run towards their rooms when the doors opened. She chuckled softly. “They’re a handful sometimes, huh?”

She took him inside, seeing that all the kids had gone up to their rooms already. “We should go too.”

———

He was unusually attracted to Trina when she was assertive. God. He was most definitely pleased that they’d made their way to their rooms.

As Trina spoke, he turned his attention to her. “We should,” he replied quickly. Too quickly, maybe. Was it too quickly?

He put his hands in his pockets, turning on his heels slowly. “Yeah,” Mendel mused absentmindedly. He was now just speaking to fill the gaps in conversation. Silence didn’t bode well with him. Of course. He spoke more than he thought, it seemed.

———

Trina smiled, a bit nervous, and she led him up the stairs. When they arrived at their rooms, she cleared her throat.

“So, uh— do you want to join me in my room?” she asked carefully and quietly, playing with her hair.

She regretted saying it already. What if he said no? If he did, she’d be embarrassed and lonely. She bit her lip, a habit when she was anxious, awaiting his response. Dear god, let him say yes.

———

He thanked the high heavens she’d asked, because his courage wasn’t so prominent that day specifically. He noticed how she bit her lip.

“I—would like that. A lot,” he said with a coy smile. “Don’t feel obliged to ask, though. Even if it’d be great. Not that I’m trying to pressure you or anything. God, no.”

He smoothed out his shirt, although the wrinkles from ill folding were still visible. He was very much hoping she’d agree to it, because it meant privacy. Privacy with Trina.

———

“Just get in here.”

She opened her door, grabbing him by the shirt and kissing him, entering her room. She kept her lips on his when she closed the door.

 _What was she doing?_ Not that she minded kissing him. She liked it a lot, actually. She just hoped he felt the same, and that this wasn’t greatly uncomfortable for him. She was pretty sure she loved him. Did she? Her heart raced when she kissed him, and her stomach filled with butterflies. Yep, she loved him.

———

Mendel was surprised by how self-assured she was. She was stronger than he’d assumed. Well, it seemed that way by the way she’d pulled him in. That was attractive, needless to say.

He wasn’t thinking ahead or behind. He kissed her in the moment. Mendel’s hand went to the back of her neck, moving in just a little closer so that they were…close. Her chest brushed his, and he blushed deeply.

Kissing Trina was not what he’d expected. It certainly wasn’t moonlit picnics and glasses of champagne as much as it was rushed privacy and messy kissing on a school trip which they were chaperoning.

———

After a while, Trina pulled back, catching her breath with an airy laugh. She sat down on her, truthfully, uncomfortable bed (her back still hurt from sleeping on it, but she wasn’t going to tell anyone that).

Running a hand through her hair with her face red with passion, she sighed. “So— yeah.” Her faux confidence melted back into the lovestruck nervousness from before.

“We should _really_ do this more often,” she laughed again, shuddering a bit from the anticipation from before.

———

Mendel was still a little dazed by the kiss. Good _lord._ He stood, faltering slightly before speaking.

“Yeah. Yeah, we should. Uh-huh,” he exhaled and shifted his weight from one foot to another. He gave a frivolous laugh. More out of nerves than the intention of making a point.

“I really wish I’d have told you sooner. I think. Rejection, mainly. I mean—that was my fear. It still is. You look really good in floral shirts. That was _so_ irrelevant,” Mendel ranted with a sheepish smile. Half-smile.

———

Trina giggled, a little louder and longer than she’d have liked. “Thank you.. you don’t have to be afraid anymore. Come sit.”

She patted the space next to her, brushing a loose strand of hair behind her ear anxiously.

“Hey— I wanted to ask you.. would you like to come over to my house for dinner sometime? I figured it might be cheaper than a restaurant, and more private and intimate too. You don’t have to, but you know. It would be great if you wanted to.”

She sighed shakily. _God, she was such a stupid bitch._ She really couldn’t stand herself.

———

Mendel sat beside her, but kept a distance as to not make her uncomfortable. He folded his hands in his lap, tapping his foot.

As she proposed dinner, he lit up. He hoped it wasn’t too obvious to her. “I’d like that. Surely I should’ve asked you. That was stupid of me. But yes. I’d like that a lot,” he said quickly.

He ran a hand through his hair; probably the reason his hair was always so damn unruly. He wished he’d have asked her first. _It’s basic manners, Weisenbachfeld._

_———_

Trina shook her head quickly. “No, no, that’s alright, honey, I promise. Is there anything you can’t have, besides lactose?”

She looked over at him, putting her hand on his. Hopefully he didn’t mind the intimacy. She certainly didn’t.

God, how she wanted to tell him she loved him. But it was too early, wasn’t it? Trying to stop herself from sighing, she focused on him. He looked _so sweet_.

“I like you. A lot.”

———

“Just lactose,” He said, more focused on the fact she’d called him ‘honey’. Mendel had a dozy smile threatening the corners of his mouth.

Mendel set his other hand over hers. He would’ve told her he loved her without missing a beat, but he couldn’t be sure.

“I lo- _ike_ you a lot,” praying the recovery was smooth enough for her to not catch on to his hopeless almost-confession.

He was a disaster. Trina was elegant, and she was poised and diligent. He was not. He stuttered and tripped and laughed when he didn’t need to.

———

God, he was adorable. Her heart skipped a beat when she heard him nearly say ‘love’, and she glanced down, her face flushed bright pink.

She’d already planned out an entire three-course meal, which would probably cost her some of the money she had been saving for either art supplies or traveling. Oh, well. He was more important.

Her eyes flickered over his face, and her heart seemed to melt at his smile. She wished she could tell him, but it’d be too much of a risk. Logically, he’d probably end up accidentally saying _it_.

———

Mendel would happily give up a week of dinner to help her travel like she wanted. He’d do anything for her, he was convinced. Who was he kidding? He was sure he would.

Mendel didn’t know what to say. He tried to be witty, but nothing came to mind. He hesitated before leaning in to kiss her again. There was no way he’d grow tired of this. The chances were minuscule.

He cupped her cheek gingerly. He knew that if he didn’t do something, he’d confess his love. Of course. The other hand was what he struggled with. _Boundaries._ He swallowed his pride and set it on her waist.

———

Trina kissed him back, a little surprised. She was pretty sure she was having heart palpitations. She rested her hand on the small of his back, and the other on his neck.

At that point, she really stopped caring. They were basically just stretching time now, and what was the use of that, really? It was just kind of a waste.

After a while, she pulled away, breathing a gentle: “I love you.” _Just fuck it, right? What’s the worst that could happen?_ Her heart started thumping faster, and her chest felt tight. _It’s fine, Trina, chill, you crazy bitch._

———

Mendel wished he’d beat her to it. Either way, he’d be damned if that wasn’t what he wanted to hear.

“I love you too. _Really._ ”

He felt his own heart rate begin to pick up, and he felt almost dizzy. He held on tight to her hands, his calloused thumb tracing the back of them. She had great hands. Not really what he should be thinking about.

Mendel had waited far too long for that, and he suddenly didn’t want to be in Queens anymore. Specifically not in a hotel in which they were staying with 35 students. Of which any could knock at their door at any given moment.

———

Trina laughed breathily, looking deep into his big, dreamy eyes as a tear rolled down her cheek. Why was she crying? She didn’t even know herself.

She just felt so overwhelmed and emotional, but in a good way. Definitely in a good way. She let go of one hand, wiping her face. “I’m sorry.”

Despite her ever present blush, she felt lightheaded from all the emotion, but again, in a good way. She hoped that saying would be a frequent one. She loved how he said it. She loved him.

———

Mendel wiped her eyes upon instinct. His hand lingered, tenderly touching her cheek. Her skin was softer than he thought. Than he’d imagined many times at the grand old hour of 12am.

“Don’t apologise,” he said, his voice soft. Mendel pulled back his hand slowly to take hers. “Did I tell you that you’re pretty? Because you are. Very. Very very.”

He was hopeless. It was pitiful to some. Oh, how he loved her, though. She was everything. His life had grown to revolve around her.

———

Trina smiled brightly. She knew he was attracted to her, and a little obsessed, maybe, but she had no idea how much he loved her and how much he cared.

“And you’re very handsome. I’ve loved you for a very long time, do you know that?” She looked down at their hands. God, his hands were so warm, and his touch was so gentle and loving.

She hoped they’d stay together. It would probably be very painful if they didn’t. Maybe they’d go home and Mendel would forget all about her, because he was bored with her. What if he only liked the idea of her? She sure hoped that wasn’t true.

———

It seemed the gods were in his favour, despite his questionable religious opinions.

“I’ve loved you for… too long. I guess I made it obvious. Which I’m sorry about,” he cringed, clearing his throat. He could tell her something he loved about her for every star in the sky.

He hoped he wouldn’t disappoint. If he wasn’t enough for Trina, he had no worth. That’s what he thought, anyway. His hands were shaking a little. He was still nervous. Of course he was. There was still the looming threat of a 15 year old at their door.

———

“No, no, it’s okay… I never thought you loved me. I thought.. you were just attracted to me, I guess. And that it would be over soon. Especially after being so near me for 5 days.”

She sighed, trying to steady his hands with a gentle squeeze. She kissed his forehead. “I’m still afraid that that’s the case, really. It’s stupid, I know, but still.”

She had to play it cool. Maybe, just maybe, although it was very unlikely in her eyes, if she did everything right, they could sleep next to each other. It was ambitious, but she’d wanted to for so long.

———

Mendel had spent too many nights hoping that he’d be able to have Trina with him someday. Hopefully this would be his day.

“I am very attracted to you, but I’m also attracted to _you,_ if that makes any sense. You’re gorgeous, of course. Really. You are, but you have the most wonderful personality. You’re so smart, and collected, and wise. Creative, of course. You’re also very bright. Very bright.”

Mendel had to stop himself from talking any more. “All in all, I’m very in love with you. I don’t know if I’m supposed to say that.”

———

Trina laughed, some of her nervousness melting away. “I’m— thank you. That means a lot.”

“Oh! You should really eat something. You’ve barely eaten anything today. That isn’t good.” She reached inside her purse, taking out a granola bar and her phone. Handing him the granola bar, she unlocked her phone to update her calorie counter. Half of a Caesar salad, that’s.. 200 calories. _Oh, Jesus._

The previous days looked pretty lousy too, ranging from 800-1000. She really needed to take better care of herself. Just not quite yet, because she had to spend her money on Mendel. Well, she didn’t _have to_ … It’s just that she wanted to. She felt like she owed him that.

———

Mendel shook his head. “You haven’t either. You take it. You don’t eat much,” he said, rubbing the back of his neck.

He’d noticed that about her. She was very thin. Almost fragile looking. He was very sure that he’d take his time to make sure she was healthy. That was what he deemed a duty.

“I’ll go to the store down the street. Just—stay here,” he said, standing up. He kissed her quickly before grabbing his jacket and leaving.

———

Trina sighed, sitting back and just putting the bar back in her purse. In case a student needed it. They’d need it more than her, is what she told herself. They’re still growing.

She just hoped he’d actually come back, and didn’t just use it as an excuse to leave her. Thumbing at her dress, she bit her lip and stared off into space. It wasn’t like she had anything better to do with her time.

She wasn’t sure how long he was supposed to take. She hoped he’d be back quickly, because she missed his touch and his voice.

———

Mendel pretty much sprinted. He disliked the thought of being so far from her, especially after the moment they’d just shared.

He returned, bags in hand. He hoped she’d be alright. Mendel practically flung open the door, cheeks flushed.

“Hey,” He said, clearing his throat and closing the door. Mendel set down the bags beside her. “I didn’t know what to buy. I got you fruit. Strawberries and stuff. They’re fresh. I just—you don’t seem like a junk food kinda person. I did get you chocolate though. The mint one you like. I think.”

———

Trina smiled. “Thank you. You didn’t have to do that. I’ll pay you back, I promise.”

She took out the strawberries and chocolate, breaking off a piece of the chocolate and eating it together with a strawberry. She thought it was a nice combination. “Do you want some? I’d feel guilty if you didn’t get to eat anything.”

Truthfully, she already felt incredibly guilty. But what he did was so sweet, she couldn’t help but hope that it’d happen again. Maybe if they ever moved in together. Her mind ran wild, and even though the broadness of her imagination freaked her out, the thought of maybe marrying him and having kids was a lovely thought.

———

Mendel shook his head. “No, you don’t have to pay me back. That’s really okay.”

He sat beside her. She looked pleased, and he smiled. He’d do anything to see her smile the way she did when she was happy.

He would do anything for her, regardless. Mendel just hoped he was given the chance to take care of her. Much like Trina, his days were occupied with thoughts of a future with her. A wedding day, their own home, even so much as kids.

———

Trina gave him a strawberry anyway. She rested her head on his shoulder, reaching over to play with his curls. They were so _soft_.

“It’s getting late,” she pointed out, hoping she could convince him to stay in her room for the night. She was pretty sick of sleeping alone, just imagining what it would be like with his arms wrapped around her. Or the other way around, of course.

“Maybe that’s just me, though. Ugh, I’m so old,” she complained with a soft laugh.

———

“If you want me to go, I can,” he said, although he felt a wave of dread at the idea of sleeping alone. Sleeping without her.

Mendel was sure he’d fall impossibly more in love with his arms around her waist and his lips on the back of her neck.

“It is kinda late. It isn’t just you. Then again, maybe we’re just old,” Mendel joked, awaiting a response from Trina. He awaited with a feeling of giddiness.

———

“Maybe,” she laughed. “Then again, we’re not even thirty yet, so I think we’re probably fine.”

She took a deep breath, sighing. “I don’t mean to move too fast, or whatever, but I thought, maybe, you could sleep next to me tonight? You don’t have to, of course. It’d just be nice.”

She sighed again, annoyed with herself. “I understand if you don’t want to, or if it makes you uncomfortable. But I’d definitely miss you.”

———

He was impossibly pleased with her response.

“I’d like to stay with you,” he told her truthfully, albeit quietly.

Mendel stood up. “I need to grab some pyjamas, but I’ll be back,” he said quickly before kissing her forehead tenderly and darting to his room in order to avoid any prying eyes.

He changed, shaking with anticipation. He understood that it was only sleeping in the same bed, but it was all too much for him. He wasn’t ashamed to say he’d wanted this as long as he’d known her. He went back to her room quickly, closing the door.

“Hey.”

———

Trina had changed into her negligee, a little startled when he entered. “Hey.. sorry, these are the only pyjamas I have. It’s either this or nothing,” she laughed.

She approached him, quickly kissing him. “Are you tired yet? It’s fine if you’re not. We can, like, talk or something. I can stay awake for you,” she rambled a bit.

“Sorry. It’s not like I’m _that_ tired.”

It truly was, actually. It’d been a long day, and she was exhausted, but she didn’t like admitting that.

———

He swallowed thickly at the sight of her in a negligee. It was _thin_ and very short. Somehow, he didn’t trust himself sleeping pressed against her.

“No, you look good. You don’t have to stay awake. I can tell you’re tired from today,” he said, clearing his throat and fighting a blush.

As much as they were together, he didn’t want to stare. He was eager to just hold her. Close. He couldn’t wait, which was almost ridiculous.

———

Trina nodded. “Thank you.” She crawled into bed, and underneath the bedsheets, waiting for him to join her.

She hoped he wouldn’t mind sleeping next to her, and that he wasn’t just humoring her. It suddenly felt cold without him, and she shivered.

What was the matter with her? She was never cold. She was just touch starved, she figured.

———

Mendel apprehensively slipped beside her, and just as timidly, he hooked an arm around her waist.

“Is this okay?” He asked, heart lightened by the feeling of her small frame in his arms. Mendel felt relaxed, but dangerously tense at the same time. He didn’t know how he was supposed to act around her. It’s pitiful that he was such a virgin in terms of affection.

Mendel could feel her breathing slowly, and her hair was grazing his cheek. This was everything to him.

———

Trina nodded. “It’s great..” Her shoulders became less tight, and pretty soon, she drifted off to sleep with a smile on her face.

She slept calmly, and she mumbled in her sleep happily. Occasionally, she stirred uncomfortably, since the mattress was basically a rock.

His embrace was warm and loving, and she nestled into him further at times. God, she loved him.

———

Mendel stayed awake. He couldn’t believe he got so lucky with her. His mom would be pleased, at least.

Whenever she stirred, he’d brush her hair from her face or kiss her temple. He kept his arms around her all night. That was until he drifted off. He wasn’t sure what time it was by then, but he didn’t at all care.

He stayed close to her as he slept, and despite the lack of comfort from the bed, he hadn’t slept so well in years.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you!! any feedback would be appreciated. we worked hard on this for a while, and so it’d be great to hear something back.


	4. Queen Titania, Fairy of Titties.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THE TITLE NAME JXNDBDBD.  
> anyway, once again, enjoy this. this chapter is also kinda long.

Trina woke up early the next morning, turning towards him and humming sleepily. He looked cute asleep. He snored, but she didn’t mind. She thought it was endearing. 

Gently shaking him to wake him up, she adjusted her frizzy and messy hair. She was afraid he was gonna think she was ugly. 

She sighed, reaching into her purse and putting a mint in her mouth. She wanted to look as attractive as possible. 

———

Mendel opened an eye as she gently shook him. 

“Mmh?” He sat up, but smiled tiredly at the sight of her looking a little messed up from sleep. 

“Oh—good morning,” he said, laughing nervously. “You look good. I mean, you look great with and without makeup. Obviously I’m not gonna dictate what you do. I’m just saying. It’s too early for me to be talking this much.”

Mendel offered her a quick smile before he caught onto the fact his hair would be a mess. He smoothed down his curls, cheeks flushing pink.

———

“It’s fine, honey, you don’t need to worry..” She pulled herself out of bed, stretching and yawning. “Did you sleep well?”

She walked into the bathroom, retrieving her brush and coming back pretty quickly. She sat back down on the bed with a smile. 

“I hope you slept well. We need to look like we didn’t sleep next to each other.”

———

“I’ll go change before kids start roaming,” he said. Mendel stood up. 

He didn’t want to leave her. He wanted more time to admire her, and talk about how he enjoyed sleeping beside her. He couldn’t, and so he kissed her briefly, yet strongly. 

“I’ll see you downstairs,” he said gently, a giddy smile on his face as he quietly left her room to return to his own.

He dressed fairly quickly. Mendel was downstairs before she was. At least it’d look less suspicious than if they walked together, a smug look on both their faces.

———

Trina nodded, taking her time to get dressed and do her hair and makeup, lovestruck. 

She came downstairs after a while, fluffing up her hair and sitting down at his table. “Hey.” 

She tried to not look suspicious, but she still had a dreamy smile on her face. She reached for his hands over to the table. 

———

Mendel looked up from his particularly interesting mug of coffee. He gave her a lopsided smile to acknowledge her.

“Hey.”

She looked good.  _ Great. _ Then again, she scarcely ever didn’t. As she reached her hands out, he gave her a look of caution. He wasn’t sure if it was intentional, or if she’d simply been distracted. He wouldn’t mind so much if they weren’t surrounded by students itching to figure them out. Maybe he’d like it more if it were their honeymoon. 

———

Trina immediately pulled away her hands with scared eyes when he looked at her like that. “Sorry,” she mumbled. 

“Did you sleep well?” she asked again, since she didn’t get an answer last time. “I slept well enough. My back hurts like hell, though,” she laughed. “The mattress sucks.”

She tried to keep the small talk light and not really relevant, so they wouldn’t really be noticed. 

———

Mendel’s inner alarm bells were set off as she pulled back her hands with a panicked expression.

“No—no, all I meant is—you know, because of the kids and—“

He really felt bad. He’d endeavoured to make her happy, at least. This wasn’t going to plan, but what could a man do?

“I slept a little later than you did. It wasn’t majorly comfortable. But hey. Hotel mattresses, huh? It could’ve been too springy. That way it would’ve sounded a little more suspicious. Sorry.”

———

Trina shook her head, although she kept her guard up. “It’s fine, I get it. Don’t worry about it.”

She sighed, moving one hand to her skirt, and the other to her hair. Breakfast just seemed to be hellish all the time. 

“I hope the show is good today. The actors and costumes, I mean. I think it has to be done right for the show to really work, you know? Set design, too.”

_ Just keep talking. Maybe you’ll make sense and sound less nervous at some point.  _

———

Mendel had a strong aversion to seeing Trina so tense, and he didn’t want to leave the situation alone. 

He sighed, rubbing his face. He noticed how she touched her hair a lot, and he assumed she had a habit of doing so. Not that it was a bad thing. She just seemed insecure. 

“I agree. I’ve seen productions where the actors were really great, but the costume and lighting was pretty lousy. Lighting is really important with theatre. Atmosphere and stuff. A lot of people just assume that if a character is sad, it has to be blue, but it isn’t that way at all. I think it’s something that’s diverse and interesting to work with, but that’s just—“ Mendel paused, “Sorry.”

———

“No, you don’t need to apologize, that’s okay..” She sighed shakily. He seemed annoyed with her. 

“My high school did a production of Into The Woods once. I got cast as Cinderella. I’m pretty sure we all sucked, mostly me,” she added quietly, “but the costumes and lighting was really good. The creative arts department got way more funding than most schools, it was crazy. But in a good way.”

She kept her eyes on the shitty plastic table, that could probably collapse at any moment, occasionally glancing at her watch. Christ. 

———

“I’m sure you were great, Trina. I love Into the Woods. You sounded great yesterday,” he pointed out. Mendel was really just trying to make it up to her.

He glanced at the students, who seemed occupied by a variety of breakfast foods. Well, he had a chance, he supposed. 

“Hey, could I talk to you outside for a minute?” Mendel inquired, setting down his cup of coffee and attempting to meet her eyes. She had gorgeous eyes. Deep and dreamy.

———

Trina looked into his eyes, nodding carefully and standing up, sighing lightly.

She resisted the urge to take his hand as she walked out with him. Crossing her arms, she tapped her foot slightly. It was louder than it would’ve been if it was Mendel, since she was wearing pumps. 

“So, uh— what did you want to talk about?” She tried to sound as nonchalant as possible, which was not very. She really despised herself. 

———

Mendel drew her a little further away from the door, closer to a relatively quiet corridor. He set his hand on her upper arm gently, and he leaned in to kiss her softly. 

“I’m sorry for...not taking your hands. You should understand that I love you, and I was just hesitant because heaven knows my class are too nosy,” he explained hurriedly upon pulling away. 

He was hoping she’d understand, and that she wouldn’t think he didn’t want it. What he wanted was to he home. With her, preferably.

———

Trina finally smiled. “No, I understand, really. It was nice, by the way, sleeping next to you. If only the mattress wasn’t a literal rock.”

She glanced down at the creaky floorboards. “But you’re very warm and comfortable. Thank you. You didn’t have to, if you didn’t want it.”

“I’m not saying that because I don’t want it and I’m trying to humor you, before you think that.. I really liked it. Loved it. I love you.”

———

A blush reached his cheeks as she spoke. Maybe it was because she had a voice only to be compared to silk. 

“My bed back home is pretty comfortable, if you’d be interested…” he offered, scratching his beard a little. He called it a beard to sound more manly. It was just a lot of stubble. 

“You’re very nice to sleep with. Not  _ sleep with _ . Sleep next to. You’re pretty when you sleep. Not that I watched you. That makes it sound more like I did. I just…noticed.”

———

Trina smiled with a nod. “That would be great. I should really sleep on a good mattress for once in my life so I don’t break my back someday,” she laughed. 

“Thank you. You’re very cute when you’re asleep. I saw this morning. You look peaceful, and not as restless as you normally do.”

She absolutely adored his voice. It was a little gruff and low, but still gentle and warm, and it had a bit of twang to it that she couldn’t quite place.

———

“Uh-huh. Yeah, well, that’s that, I guess,” he said, nodding slowly as though he was still trying to interpret something.

Mendel was sent into the decision of feeling either embarrassed or touched that she said he was cute when he slept. He came out with both, meaning he flashed a quick smile, but it was accompanied by a blush.

“That’s...very sweet of you to say. Thank you,” he said with a tone that only suggested he was embarrassed (more so than feeling touched).

Trina’s voice, come to think of it, was something he could easily put in his top five favourite things about her; it was sleek and smooth. She had a moderately deep _ er _ voice than some, but he found that attractive. Maybe more attractive than if she had a higher voice. She still spoke lightly, and Mendel noticed that she had  _ such _ a way with words. God, could she yell. He’d be lying to himself if he tried to say he wasn’t even slightly attracted to her assertive attitude.

——— 

Trina was shot into a bit of panic at his tone, but she hid it the best she could. “Do you want to sleep next to me again tonight?”

Frankly, she was terrified of his answer. God, she just wanted to go home. She could only hope the kids were having a good time. That’s what she was there for, after all. 

She kept her arms crossed, tapping her fingers on her upper arm. She really shouldn’t be this nervous. It’s fine. Incredibly fine. This is what fine feels like.

———

“Yeah.  _ Yes _ . That would be really great,” he said, looking slightly flustered. It seemed he wasn’t all the confidence he assumed he’d be. 

Mendel wanted to go home. Today, then two days, and travelling on the fifth. It couldn’t be so bad. Right?

His eyes were drawn to her fingers, where she was rhythmically tapping. Mendel took her hands, holding them in his own. 

“I get that it’s kinda rich of me to say this, but you should relax. I haven’t seen you so tense in a while. Just go back in there, and I’ll go get you some water.”

———

Trina nodded. “Sorry,” she mumbled. “Thank you. I love you.” She went back inside, avoiding the students’ gaze. 

Sitting down at the table, she started tapping her fingers again to some old song. She just had to hold on for a little longer. She could do that, couldn’t she? She’d waited for years now. What was 3 more days? 

She didn’t know why, but the fact that they’d both confessed made her very impatient. She just wanted to hold him and kiss him. She loved him. So much.

———

Mendel supposed that confessing his love to her on the first day of a five day long trip wasn’t the best thing he’d done. All he had to do was deal with this day, two after, and then he was pretty much free to hold her. 

They still had the evenings, which were more than enough for him, as it was the most he was gonna get.

Aside from all that, he was expected to entertain a group of 15 year olds. He knew that as much as he wanted to, he couldn’t make this whole thing about Trina. He’d have to talk to them, and make the trip at least a little more interesting.

He could do that. Mendel returned, sitting opposite her and handing her a bottle of water. “You okay?”

———

Trina nodded, taking the water and sipping it. “Yeah, I’m fine. Are you?” It just seemed nice to ask him too. 

To be fair, the students seemed to be greatly entertained by their love life. Yet, she still wanted to give them her all. She cared about them too much to not do that. Besides, they didn’t want complaining parents.

She really hoped they wouldn’t get in trouble. Sure, most teachers were rooting for them, but it was probably still seen as unprofessional. She’d worked hard to get there, although it wasn’t a high end job. She still didn’t want to be looked down upon.

———

Mendel didn’t want to sabotage Trina with this. He could tell she was paranoid. As much as he was sure nobody would care, it’d certainly create a weird atmosphere. 

“I’m okay,” he said, hands folded in his lap. Despite this, his foot was tapping beneath the table.

He just hoped the day didn’t drag for too long. They had the show, which would be fine, and then dinner in some restaurant some time away from the hotel. If he ignored his surroundings enough, it could seem like a date with Trina. Then again, his students were a laugh.

———

Half of the day was just going to consist of the bus ride, and she wasn’t sure if that was a good thing or not. She noticed his foot tapping, and she nudged his leg a little, since that was really the only thing she could do. 

She drank her water quickly, and she put the bottle in her purse. She could probably refill it at some point. Maybe a student would need it. Truthfully, nothing in her purse was for herself. Almost nothing in her life was for herself. The only thing that was, really, was her savings, and she sacrificed that a lot too. 

“That’s good.” She briefly glanced around the room. Almost everyone seemed to be finished eating. “We should probably get to the bus.”

———

Mendel nodded. “Yeah. We should,” he said absentmindedly. 

He stood, pulling on his jacket and brushing himself down. He tried to look presentable, but he had more pressing matters than what he was wearing. He was on a budget, and if that meant wearing lousy trousers and a shirt that didn’t fit him quite right, then so be it. Trina was very much on the same budget, yet managed to look good, pay her bills and provide for herself and her students. He envied that.

He called his class over with the intention of a headcount, and he walked out of the hotel doors chatting idly with a group about some obscure musical.

———

Trina smiled, doing the same with her class. They were quick to join her, and they mostly kept quiet, save one or two questions about her and Mendel, which she brushed off. 

She sat down in the front, smoothing out her dress. She’d got it at a thrift shop, just like most of her other clothes. She’d gotten very lucky with how many clothes fit her, and although some of them were a bit frumpy in her opinion, it was good enough. Most of them had paint stains in them, but she didn’t really have the time to get those out properly. 

She sighed, glancing out the window. It was gonna be a long ride, which she resented. She didn’t really like bus rides, but then again, who did? The conversations she had with Mendel made it more enjoyable, anyways. 

———

Mendel, too, had dismissed any questions regarding him and Trina. He was happy to keep ignoring them for now.

He thought her dress was pretty, much like her other clothes. Thrift stores were something they had in common. He liked the way she dressed; flowers and cardigans and blouses and oversized sweaters. Definitely his kind of thing. Maybe it was his thing because it was her thing. 

He sat beside her, clearing his throat as he pulled his jacket sleeves down.

“Hey,” he greeted, smoothing out his hair.

———

Trina glanced at him with a smile and a bit of a pained expression. Man, these seats were really uncomfortable, and that didn’t help her back pain. “Hey.”

She constantly felt older than she actually was, and she didn’t really know why that was. Maybe she’d die from inhaling too many paint fumes at thirty three. 

She had her hands folded in her lap as the bus started moving, driving over a rocky road.  _ Ow.  _

She wondered why the roads could be this rough in NYC, and she sighed. This meant more motion sick kids to take care of, which meant less time with Mendel, which meant an even less enjoyable bus ride.  _ Damnit.  _ She stood to tend to a few of them, sighing and looking back at Mendel every now and again.

———

Mendel threw (minor) caution to the wind, and stood, walking to Trina. “I brought water,” he said, handing it to the sick students. Mendel’s bag basically consisted of notebooks that he didn’t need and bottles of water that put a strain on his shoulders.

He probably didn’t need to stand up, because Trina was constantly prepared. He was jealous that he wasn’t so organised. Typical him, anyway.

He stumbled a little as he walked back to his seat, figuring Trina didn’t need a crowd around her. He patiently awaited her return. God, he really wasn’t a great teacher compared to her.

———

Trina returned after a while, sitting down with a gentle sigh and laying her head on his shoulder. 

“Do you ever feel, like, ancient?” 

She had her eyes closed, just wanting to focus on him for a while. Even just his presence was comforting, and relieved the pain of an hour-long bus ride. 

She had to resist taking his hand, because that would probably too on the nose for him. Besides, she vowed to give more attention to the students. 

Just not right now.

———

“Yeah. I do,” he said. “Trust me. I have bad shoulders and I complain about how much this generation depend on their phones.”

Mendel wasn’t actually sure how old Trina was. He knew she was older, just not how much older. She didn’t look older. If anything, she looked younger than he did. She always seemed to have a glow about her.

He patted her thigh gently, exhaling as he tilted back his head. “I’m tired constantly, too.”

———

Trina laughed. “I’m basically a grandma. My back hurts 24/7 and I still have an iPhone 5S. I’ve had it for 4 years now. I watch only one tv show, too. It’s the only reason I have Netflix. And the only saving grace of the CW network.”

She could tell he was younger than her. Sometimes she saw him as the 27 year old he was, and other times he just looked like a lost puppy to her. She wouldn’t tell him that, though.

She smiled warmly at the affectionate touch. “You don’t seem old to me.”

———

Mendel was the youngest of the teachers, and he wasn’t always happy about it. It was almost demeaning to have people in their 50s baby him when he knew exactly what he was going. Most of the time.

“Have you spoken to a doctor about your back?” He asked, but knew that it was expensive to do so.

“Hey, at least you have an iPhone. Android. Isn’t that kinda depressing?” He laughed. “I don’t even have Netflix. I use my mom’s account.”

He sometimes felt too old to be 27. He probably was too old. Spiritually, at least.

“How old are you? Not to be rude.”

———

“No, I haven’t. I’m probably never going to anyways. I just have to stick it out. And I’m 28. I don’t feel 28. I feel like I’m 60 and 16 at the same time,” she laughed. 

The older teachers mostly seemed to talk to Trina normally. Probably because of the wise aura she had. She knew that if they knew her story, they’d treat her like a toddler, and that was absolutely not what she wanted. 

“I have a really shitty apartment, which explains why I have some spare money sometimes. My bed is basically a prison cot, it’s  _ bad _ .” 

She always told herself she’d have enough money to move to a better place someday, but with the rent expenses in New York, it was unlikely. She wasn’t about to move out of town, either. She couldn’t afford that, taking gas money into consideration.

———

Mendel envied how Trina was more respected than he was. She was pretty much the only of the staff to talk to him like they were on the same wavelength. He had too much energy to be taken seriously. 

“That doesn’t sound like its...healthy. I don’t mean to sound too pushy, but you could spend some time at my place. It guess it’s more comfortable. From what I hear.”

Mendel, despite growing up in NYC, he was still surprised by the cost of a place to live. He was grateful he’d dropped his sort-of-accent when he was younger. He still had a slight Jersey twang, mind you. Slight.

———

“Yeah, I know. I just don’t have the money to see a doctor, especially not about back pain. I mean, if I can’t even eat more than a thousand calories a day, it would be a little nonsensical for me to see a doctor about  _ that _ .”

She grew up in New York, but her mother was from California and her dad was from Canada, so her accent basically sounded like nothing. It made her sound pretty normal,  but it made her feel uninteresting. 

“I’d love to come over to your place. We could watch something together, maybe. What kind of shows are you into?”

———

“Jeez, Trina. A thousand? That can’t be good for you,” he said, frowning a little. Explains why she was so damn thin.

Mendel really needed to start taking care of her. She could easily end up sick the way she was going. 

“I could pay for your back thing. At least some of it,” he said hurriedly. “It really wouldn’t be too much.”

Logically, she should be sick. He didn’t want that, of course, but it really couldn’t be beneficial for her if she was hardly eating. His anxiety spiked a little. He knew he couldn’t rush, but he couldn’t leave her in a crappy apartment.

———

“You don’t have to do that, really. I’m making it sound worse than it is. I’m alright. You don’t need to worry.”

She kept her eyes closed as she moved a little closer to him, as she shivered slightly. “It’s cold today,” she complained. 

Trina hadn’t been taken care of by anyone in 12 years. There wasn’t really anyone who could look after her. Not that she shared a lot with people. She was secretive, and her facade seemed to work on nearly everyone. Until Mendel came along, and he didn’t really know her hardships before the trip.

———

Mendel took off his jacket without hesitation, draping it over her shoulders. He cleared his throat. 

He understood that she wasn’t about to let him in so easily. He didn’t blame her, of course. She’d been taking care of herself for long enough, and he knew it’d be difficult. On the both of them.

“Just—let me know if you need anything,” he said, drumming his fingers on his leg. “Do you need anything? I did say let me know, but if you do, just mention it.”

———

“I will, but I’m fine.”

_ Let me know if you need anything.  _ That was a sentence she hadn’t heard in years. Not even her best friends knew about how much she was struggling, and she started feeling guilty. She was probably exaggerating anyway. 

“I’m sorry for bothering you with all this— I don’t normally tell people this, you know. It’s embarrassing.”

Despite her nervousness, the jacket had warmed her up, and a small smile returned to her face. 

———

“It isn’t a bother, Trina. Really, it isn’t,” he assured her. Mendel pursed his lips. 

He grabbed a bottle of water from his bag. Mainly just for something to do. He drummed his fingers on the side of it instead of his leg. God, was he obnoxious. Too much energy to be taken seriously.

Mendel had always been restless, and he’d always been active. On his feet. Talking. Moving. ADHD, but would he say that? No, not likely. He didn’t mind too much about it all, but he wasn’t taken seriously as it was. 

———

“M’kay..” She hummed quietly, hugging his arm. She was unreasonably tired, and his warm and gentle touch made her feel more sleepy. She wasn’t about to fall asleep, though, she wanted to stay awake for the kids.

She probably had a classifiable disorder that should’ve been treated, and she was aware of that, but again, no money. Therapy was expensive, and she could barely afford a passable apartment.

Trina decided to just open her eyes again, so she’d stay awake. His sweater was soft, and it was comfortable to bury your face into. It was also an excuse to be closer to him.

———

Mendel wondered if she could be anaemic, or maybe lacking B12. He subtly stroked her hair as she rested her head on his shoulder. 

He had an urge to help her. He wasn’t sure how to, as she, of course, wouldn’t accept it. Well, there was his mother, but that may not work out the way he wanted it to.

Mendel glanced out at the streets; bustling, grey, but accented by neon signs every so often. The same as he’d always seen. He held a little tighter onto Trina.

———

“Hey, you talked about your mom a bit, but you didn’t really tell me anything about her.. Is she nice?” 

Trina just hoped his mom would like her, if she ever met his mom, of course, which she also hoped. She missed having parental figures to talk to. Not that she wanted to put that burden on the woman.

She smiled as he held her closer, as she hummed again. Luckily, they were almost there. She was excited to see the show, and she hoped it wouldn’t disappoint.

———

“Uh-huh. She’s a real nice lady. To everyone,” he explained. “She’s a great psychiatrist, too. She isn’t patronising.”

Mendel was closer to his mom than to anyone else, even at 27. Sure, everyone loved their mom, but he hadn’t grown out of that closeness and dependency. 

He was hoping that Trina stayed with him long enough for her to meet his mother, as he had the strangest feeling they’d get along great. That way she’d be able to talk to her about the things she enjoyed, as Mendel’s own interests seemed to stray from his mother’s.

———

“That’s nice… Do you think she would like me?” Trina had a strong need for everyone to like her so much, all the time. It was probably very bad, but people did like her, which made her happy.

The bus halted abruptly, and everyone shot forward with the movement. That made Trina less tired, and she stood, stretching and gathering everyone. The students walked into the theatre, with her in front so she could pay attention to them. 

As soon as everyone was seated, she approached Mendel again, hooking her arm into his and sitting down in the back. She tapped her foot excitedly. She hadn’t seen a play in a long time, so she was enthused.

———

“Yeah, I’m sure she would,” he said pensively. Mendel assumed people disliked him and just hoped to hear otherwise. He could tell Trina had a desire to be liked by people.

Mendel went back to discussing one thing or another with his students, and his mood was lightened significantly by their playful banter and wit. He didn’t mind it. They stayed respectful, which was fine with him. 

As he sat beside Trina in the back, he noticed how empty the small theatre was. He would’ve made an innuendo about sitting at the back in a dark theatre, but stopped himself. He didn’t have a perverted sense of humour; mainly just a keen eye for saying the wrong thing at the wrong time out of sheer impulse.

———

Trina held his hand, tracing shapes on the back of it. The lights went out, and she had to keep herself from gasping in anticipation. She gripped his hand a little tighter.

The play was pretty good, in her opinion. She imagined that Mendel wouldn’t like it very much, since he was more educated on theatre than her. If it didn’t regard painting, she liked enjoying things at face value. She did enough overthinking in her day-to-day life, and entertainment just distracted her.

She held onto him for the entire thing, occasionally looking over at him to see if he was having any fun, to no avail, since it was way too dark to see his expression. When the  lights went back on, she sighed. “What did you think?”

———

Mendel wasn’t a fan of the play to begin with, so it was no surprise he didn’t enjoy it as much as he’d have liked to. 

“It was pretty good! The costumes are great,” he said, nodding. “Professional and stuff. What say you?”

He’d gathered that Trina had enjoyed it, only basing that on her light expression. He was happy she’d enjoyed it, at least. He cared about her more than himself, it seemed. He’d watch something he disliked a hundred time over if it meant she’d smile.

———

Trina’s smile grew a little brighter upon hearing he enjoyed it. “I liked it a lot! First play I’ve seen in 12 years, so I’d probably be sad if I didn’t like it,” she laughed giddily. 

She stood up, her legs a little wobbly from sitting for so long. She gently pulled him up, before leading the students back into the bus, talking to a few of them. The opinions seemed to be divided on the play. Mendel’s students didn’t like it, while Trina’s did. It made her seriously doubt his enjoyment, and she looked over at him with a slight frown as they sat back down in the bus. 

“You don’t have to say you liked it when you didn’t. I wouldn’t mind, you know.”

———

“No, I enjoyed it,” he said, scoffing lightly. Mendel just didn’t want to rain on her parade. Come to think of it, he’d have been much more entertained if they’d seen ‘Funny Girl’. 

He’d sort of influenced his students in the sense that he’d accidentally trained them into disliking what he did. When he spoke about something, it was passionate, and so the passion of his dislike coerced them into the same views. That was his theory, at least.

“I’m glad you enjoyed it.”

———

“Hmm, alright…” she replied, not really believing him. Her mood was dampened a little, but she still kept her head up. Figuratively, of course, since she buried her face back in his sweater.

Mendel’s students seemed sweet, although that was maybe because she tried to see the best in everyone, but opinionated and passionate. Which was nice, sure, but exhausting. She was glad that they didn’t have the other’s class. She assumed Mendel would get bored teaching her class.

She, personally, loved her class with all her heart. Sure, it was hard to get to know them, since they were shy and quiet, but if you got to know them, they’d trust you with their life. They were sensitive, and Trina knew how to deal with that, which made them a perfect match. They were such sweethearts.

———

Mendel was worried by the blunt reply. She didn’t seem impressed with his response, but that didn’t surprise him. At least she was showing affection.

His energy matched that of his students. They were compatible, which made them easier to teach. Trina’s class were quiet. More reserved, much like her. Keeping an eye on his class was like trying to herd sheep. 

He glanced down at her, a smile playing on the corners of his lips. He still couldn’t quite comprehend their situation, and he was terrified she was just entertaining herself with him.

———

Trina stayed close to him for the entire ride, with a small smile on her face. She felt warm when she was with him, the butterflies persisting, even after years. She just hoped it would stay that way for many years to come.

Maybe she’d gotten attached to him too quickly, or at least quicker than she’d have liked of herself. She didn’t usually trust people this fast. At least they had the history of being friends. Coworkers, at the very least.

The ride to the restaurant was relatively quiet. Not that she minded. It was nice to get some peace and quiet, after how stressful the trip had already been for her.

———

Mendel didn’t know how fast to take things. They’d been supposed friends for quite some time, so did that give them a history? Surely if he’d only just met her, it would be different to take it fast. Not that he was going to. She set the speed for all of this, because heaven knows he wouldn’t. 

Dinner would be above that of what they served in the hotel, at least. He quite looked forward to being able to talk to her over the table. That way he could keep his gaze on her in a way that proved to be subtle. He hoped.

The bus halted, and there was a short walk to the restaurant. He nudged her lightly, although he knew she was awake. Their students were stirring, and so he didn’t want to risk unwanted attention from them.

———

Trina sat up straight, standing up immediately after and leading the students into the restaurant, dividing them into groups and sending them to different tables before sitting down herself. 

She hoped that there would be a variety of options at the restaurant, since she ate kosher and that limited her options.

She picked up a menu, her eyes flickering over it. There were options, thank god, and she tapped her fingers to the beat of some old song. She just hoped Mendel wouldn’t have too hard of a time picking something out.

———

Mendel sat opposite her, a little dazed. The lights were low, and he noticed how her cheekbones looked a little more prominent. 

He had to remind himself that he wasn’t there to keep his eyes on Trina. He picked up a menu. Once again, he didn’t care for what he was eating. 

The restaurant seemed all too sophisticated to be filled with 15 year olds and the two of them. He felt a little out of place. He always seemed to feel a little out of place.

———

Trina reached for his hand. A song by Kate Bush echoed through the room, which made her feel happy. She always liked Kate Bush. 

This kind of looked like a place she’d take him if it was their first date. Maybe their anniversary. It seemed to be a pretty big deal, so she wasn’t sure why they were there of all places. The teens were probably not even going to like the food there.

With a sigh, she squeezed his hand. “So.. what are you ordering?”

———

Mendel would’ve much preferred it to be a date, or an anniversary. Hell, that was if she stayed with him. He wasn’t sure what the future held for them.

“I don’t know. Pizza? This place is Italian so I guess it’s fitting. And you?” He asked, looking up at her.

He just wanted to hear her speak. She had a great voice, as mentioned. She could talk about something he had so little interest in and he’d be satisfied.

———

“I’m not sure.. with my allergy, I don’t hate many options. Although I guess you’re eating something you’re allergic to as well. I don’t know why, but people with lactose intolerance seem to care very little about allergic reactions. I admire that. Well, your symptoms wouldn’t be as extreme as mine. No offense, of course, but I would literally die if I ate something with tomato in it. I’d suffocate.”

She laughed shortly. “That’s kind of morbid, I’m sorry. I’ll just do fettuccine alfredo, since that seems to be one of the only things I can have.”

“You know? I think we’ve told each other enough basic things about ourselves. We’ve answered the kind of questions you’d find on the labels of tea bags. But I wanna know some more obscure things about you. Tell me, please.”

———

“Trina, that terrifies me. Truly. I’m now gonna be paranoid that I’ll forget about your allergy and I’ll be charged for murder. Oh, god.”

Mendel was a little stressed by that, although he knew it was irrational. He’d have to learn these things about her. He’d tried to deduce as much as he could from being around her, but it seemed there was a hell of a lot more than what meets the eye.

“I don’t know many obscure things about myself, if I’m being honest. Uhh. I look like a twelve year old when I shave. I used to dance when I was young, but I dropped out because I have no rhythm. At all. It was my mom. She said it was a good way to express myself and socialise or whatever. I think she just wanted me to take out some of the hyperactivity.”

———

“I’m pretty sure that would be manslaughter, not murder. Only if you helped me get an epi-pen, though. They’d think you’d have poisoned me if you didn’t. Sorry.”

Trina held onto his hands, tracing on the back of them absentmindedly as she listened to him. 

She laughed when he talked about him dancing. “I really can’t see you doing any kind of dance, really. You don’t seem like a ballet person, or someone who’d waltz, and  _ definitely  _ not hip hop. I’m glad you found theatre.”

——-

“Manslaughter. Right,” he nodded. 

Mendel smiled a little as her thumb grazed the back of his hands. Her touch was incredibly gentle, and he could barely stand it. She was everything and more.

“I did jazz. Again, you kinda need rhythm for that. It’s sad, because I enjoyed it. I’ve found theatre now, which is great. Better.”

———

“I’m glad,” she said with a warm smile. She looked down at their hands, tapping her foot. It seemed as though she’d adopted the habit from him already. 

“I would tell you some more about myself, but I’m not sure if you would really care..” she laughed, a bit of thinly veiled nervousness detectable.

The chattering of the teenagers was loud, and it clashed terribly with the sound of Wuthering Heights, but she was there with him. It wasn’t like the staff seemed to really mind. 

———

Mendel noticed the way she tapped her foot, and his heart was warmed. He liked the way she held his hands. 

“Oh, no, don’t be crazy. Of course I care. I’ve been trying to figure you out for months now. Longer,” he said, laughing sheepishly. 

He had. He’d tried to remember what she liked and what she disliked and why she had those opinions. ‘Tried’ being the operative word. He strived to, more like.

———

Trina laughed. “Well, alright. Uhh… every time I get the newspaper, I try to figure out what shape the crossword resembles and then I color it in. It’s crazy, I know.”

She looked up at the ceiling as she tried to think of things she could tell him. “In my teenage years, I had so little money I had to use my ironing board as a table, so I stood a lot. I used to have really strong legs because of that.”

“I used to regularly babysit to get by. It was mostly these two kids, Anna and Natalie. Their parents were almost never home, so they saw me more than they saw their own parents. At some point, they followed me home because they wanted to live with me. Naturally, they ran back home when they set foot in my horrible apartment.” She chuckled softly. 

“Even though I’m a little religious, every night, I kneel on my bed so I can see the two brightest stars in the sky. Those are my parents. I talk to them every night to tell them about my day, make sure they’re still there, and ask them if they can provide me with the strength to get up the next day, and stumble through life blind, and do it all with a smile. I know it’s bullshit, but it makes me feel warm and happy.”

———

Mendel smiled fondly. Art teachers, huh? As she looked up, he couldn’t help but notice she had a strong jawline. He loved that.

He was touched to know that she took care of kids. She was a maternal character, and that only gave him hope for their future. Even more touched by the fact that she’d pinned the brightest stars as her parents. It was very much something she would do.

“You’re a strong woman, Trina. I know that your parents would be proud of you. You’re really something, you know that? I can only wish to be as strong as you are.”

———

Trina smiled shyly, looking down at the wooden table. “I’m not that strong, really. But I’m trying, so thank you. It means the world to me.”

Sitting there, holding the hands of the person she’d loved for so long, and had told her parents about many times, she could almost see their smiles. 

“Hey, you’ve told me about your mom, but what’s your dad like? Is he nice?” She tilted her head slightly as she always did when she asked a question. 

———

Mendel smiled fondly at her. Trina wasn’t usually so reserved or demure, and he supposed she wasn’t used to compliments from people. 

He squeezed her hands lightly, looking down at them and back up to where she was still smiling. He wouldn’t grow bored of seeing her smile like that. 

Mendel cleared his throat abruptly as Trina asked about his father. He tapped his foot a little faster, feeling every time his heel tapped the ground.

“I wouldn’t know,” he offered with a short laugh.

———

Trina resisted the urge to ask him why, as it seemed to be a sensitive subject to him. “Oh, I’m sorry for asking..”

She gently nudged his leg as a sign of affection, starting to feel a little guilty. She couldn’t have known, could she? Still, his apparent nerves bothered her. 

“I didn’t know,” she rushed, brushing her thumb over his hand. “Sorry, again.”

———

“Hey, don’t worry about it. I don’t mind,” he said, shaking his head.

Mendel, in all honesty,  _ didn’t  _ care. Sure, there’d be times when he was low, and the thought of it seemed to be worse than it was, but it didn’t affect him. Maybe it did, and he just didn’t see it. Maybe it was why he got on a hell of a lot better with women.

“You didn’t know. Relax, my dear,” he said quietly. “Tell me the things you like. I’m really trying to store this. You know, for the future.” 

_ If there was one for them. _

_ ——— _

Trina’s face lit up at both the mention of the future and the affectionate pet name. “Alright..”

She thought for a while. “I really like sappy old movies. I know they’re not always good, but I just like enjoying media for what it is. It doesn’t always have to be high art to me. Things like music and movies distract me, I guess. I listen to music a lot when I’m painting. It helps me focus, and be less perfectionistic. Sometimes I forget that I do this for fun.”

“That makes it sound like I don’t like painting, I’m sorry—“ she hurriedly apologized. “I do like it. A lot. It’s my passion, but I still always feel like it has to be perfect. I don’t know why.”

———

“It doesn’t sound that way at all. I know you enjoy it. Teaching drama is stressful. More than you know, but I’ll be damned if I don’t enjoy it.”

Mendel listened to her with the intention of perfecting every detail of the date he’d planned out hundreds upon hundreds of times.

He admired her passion. He understood it was cliché, but the way she spoke with her eyes all bright made his stomach flip. Her eyebrows were another symbol of her passion; the same thing they would do if you were to admire something like a baby, or a dog. He loved it, if that made any sense at all.

———

“I wish I could say I understand, but I clearly don’t. All I really know is just silence and calmness, at least with teaching. It’s kind of a mess outside of that,” she laughed. 

“I probably wouldn’t survive a day teaching your class. I like to think I’m patient, but I just don’t think I have the energy. Or the knowledge. I’m not really sure if I would like to learn more about theatre. It might just spoil my enjoyment of it.”

Trina held onto his hands maybe a little too tightly as she spoke. She was just touch starved, she told herself. Not like that wasn’t true, but she just liked knowing he was there, even with her eyes closed. She didn’t like relying on only one sense. 

———

“They love you, but they’d give you hell. Not even you specifically. If I’m sick, they won’t even consider cooperating with the substitute. Your class would be hell for me, I’m sure. It isn’t that I don’t appreciate a calm atmosphere...it’s just not my thing.”

Mendel rubbed the back of her hands with his thumbs, resisting the urge to kiss the back of them. He wanted to kiss  _ her _ . He worshipped the ground she walked on.

“Do you have a favourite artist? In terms of music?”

———

“Well, that’s mean,” she said, feigning offense before laughing. “I guess I’m happy that they’re listening to me on this trip, then.

Trina shook her head. “Not really. I have a playlist of just separate songs I listen to, and sometimes I pick out one of the artists and put their songs on shuffle. I don’t know. Music is just background noise for me, mostly. It’s probably why I don’t mind most modern songs. Although I guess you don’t really like pop music.”

“What about you?”

———

“Correct,” he laughed slightly. “I spend a lot of time with my mother, so I’ll leave you to figure out what I listen to.”

Mendel was hoping it wouldn’t clash with Trina’s preferences. He’d most happily give up his own music to listen to Fleetwood Mac if Trina didn’t like what he listened to. He was a music kind of person, sure, but he wasn’t yet sure of the lengths he’d go to for her.

“I think music today has been...destroyed. It’s a bunch of crap. I don’t class it as music, really. There are some I don’t mind, but mainstream pop music definitely isn’t my preference. At all.”

———

“I get that. I’m not sure what I think of the recent years in music. Everyone just seems so… bored with music. Like they don’t really want to be doing it anymore.”

She sighed. “I did like the pop music of the early 2010s. Yeah, it wasn’t really substantive, but at least it was fun. You could just forget about your worries for a while, you know? Yeah. It’s stupid. Sorry.”

“I don’t know. I just don’t really mind what genre I listen to, as long as it distracts me enough.”

———

Mendel differed from Trina in the sense that he listened to music for focus. Maybe she just didn’t appreciate it like others did, and that was fine with him.

“I don’t think it’s stupid. You don’t have to say sorry for everything. Really. It’s...very okay.”

Mendel ordered their food upon being approached by a waiter. He’d stumbled over his words, but that wasn’t a rarity. His nerves really were acting up again. 

———

Trina smiled at him with a bit of concern, rubbing the back of his hand. “You okay, darling? You seem tense.”

She probably wouldn’t take it well if Mendel told her she didn’t appreciate music like others did. Maybe she was overly sensitive and dramatic. 

With her naturally emotional and anxious personality, maybe she didn’t fit in New York, but in a more relaxed place. With a Canadian dad and a Californian mom, she wasn’t even sure why she grew up in NYC.

———

Mendel felt his shoulders drop a little as she called him ‘darling’. Just about anything she did could relax him.

He could tell she was out of place in NYC. Not that she didn’t belong there, but somewhere more tranquil seemed fitting. Mendel was attracted to the buzz and the lights and the neon of New York City, he supposed.

He liked her accent. Her accent wasn’t anything unusual, though. She just seemed very well spoken, and she had a gentle twang to her tone. 

———

If her parents were still alive today, she’d probably be a SoCal girl. She’d probably live in West Covina or Santa Ana. Now she seemed like someone who’d live in Portland, and, oh boy, she did not like that about herself.

He seemed to fit into the bustling city, and she envied that to an extent. She really didn’t actually like New York. She thought it was too impersonal and harsh. But she didn’t have the heart to move. 

She’d really miss her students too much. She didn’t want to betray them. “Hey, I wonder.. how did you get into theatre?”

———

Mendel tried to find the good in things, so aside from the pollution, crime, coldness or whatever the hell people hated so much about NYC, he strived to enjoy it.

Aside from all that, he wanted her happiness to last. Truthfully, if she moved, he’d be right behind her. The thought of her moving away broke his heart.

“Theatre? My mom. Streisand fan, being Jewish and all. I don’t know what that had to do with it, but I guess she thought ‘hey, I like her music, and she’s Jewish.’”

———

Trina smiled brightly. “That’s nice. Streisand is an icon, in my opinion. I like her a lot.”

Regarding her own happiness, she should probably move away. But she was too selfless for her own good, and moving would probably be really stressful to her. At least if she had to do it alone. She’d be all alone if she moved, no doubt. 

Trina glanced out of the window. The view was pretty bad, and she sighed with a bit of a frown. She really needed to consider getting a new place to live.

———

“Mmh, I agree,” he said, tapping his foot absentmindedly. He pulled back a hand to sip his water. 

Mendel knew that their views on the city wouldn’t fit perfectly. She most likely wanted to move away, but he couldn’t stand moving. Maybe if they moved out of the city but stayed in New York. Hold on,  _ ‘they’? _

He panicked. He hadn’t realised he’d been planning for them to potentially move, and he didn’t even know if she’d stay with him. God, he needed to lay off.

———

Trina frowned at his expression. “Are you alright? You look really nervous. What’s wrong?”

She nudged his leg again. She was a little confused by his sudden tenseness, and she feared it was her fault. 

“Have I done something wrong? You can tell me, you know. I’ll change whatever I did,” she rushed, squeezing his hands. 

———

“Oh, no, it isn’t you. At all,” he said, quickly, kissing the back of her hand upon impulse. He was grateful they weren’t so visible to everyone else.

“I was overthinking. Don’t panic,” Mendel added as he clenched his jaw and laughed out of nerves. Was he too much? Oh, but she was so wonderful.

Mendel often thought he was too much for everyone, which is why he felt comfortable teaching. The students were just as much as he was.

———

Trina held his hands a little tighter, smiling nervously. “Alright, I’m sorry. I love you.” She blushed as he kissed her hand. 

She bit her lip, as the waiter put down their food. She pulled her hands away hesitantly, and started eating. 

“This is pretty good.” It was  _ fine.  _ She could imagine the students not really liking it, since they were only teenagers.

———

Mendel didn’t care much for the food. It was fine, but he rarely ate something and really enjoyed it. It just wasn’t his kind of thing. 

“Mhm. Better than the art gallery cafe, huh?” He smiled slightly, sipping his water. He mainly just kept his eyes on her. He could do that without it looking suggestive. 

He went back to his food, keeping his eyes down as she caught his gaze. Mendel was more looking forward to getting back to the hotel.

———

Trina laughed, a little saddened that they couldn’t hold hands anymore. She ate her food relatively quickly, missing his touch. 

She glanced around the room. Most of the students were done already, having received their food earlier. That was understandable, since the trip was about the students and not about them, despite what it felt like. 

She ran a hand through her hair, glancing up at the ceiling and waiting for him to finish too. She wasn’t gonna rush him, that’s just mean. 

———

Mendel didn’t finish his food. He nudged the plate aside as he sipped his water. He smoothed down his own hair as she noticed he’d finished.

“That was good, huh?” He spoke slowly, tapping his fingers on the side of his glass. It really wasn’t. Sure, it was okay. Maybe he was picky.

As they stood to leave, he stood aside to file out the students first before holding the door open for Trina. He set his hand on the small of her back as she passed him.

———

Trina held back a small ‘oh’ at the touch, and she sat down in the bus with bright pink cheeks.  _ Alright.  _

She tapped her fingers on her thigh absentmindedly, glancing over at Mendel. “God, finally some time to ourselves when we’re back at the hotel, huh? I need that. Don’t you?”

She moved her hand to his back, rubbing it. She just liked doing that. Her parents taught her how to massage, and it comforted her. It was something that was supposed to make people feel better, and she liked making people feel better. Perhaps she would’ve been a doctor if she didn’t love painting.

———

Mendel hummed as she spoke, a little distracted. 

“Yeah. I do. It’s been a long day. Well, it’s that, or I’m just old,” he sighed, scratching his beard and smiling as she rubbed his back.

He could tell she cared more than others than she cared about herself. Not that he was proud of her for that. He was proud of her, but heaven knows he wished she’d take care of herself every now and then.

“This is nice.”

———

“Is it? I’m glad. I learned this when I was very young. It’s a family thing, I guess. My aunt’s really good at massaging.”

Trina really didn’t care about herself at all. She was probably going to get herself killed with one of her horrible habits one day. Weakness due to malnourishment or breaking her back or something. Despite how bad she took care of herself, she seemed to be holding up pretty well. She was still standing, which was all that mattered to her. As long as she was  _ there _ to help the kids and make art, she was alright. 

“And you’re not old. You’re younger than me. Or that means you’re old and I’m ancient,” she laughed. “And the other teachers are fossilized dinosaur remains.”

———

“Yeah? You’re good at it,” he replied, tone light. “It’d really help if you could rub your own back. You should teach me.”

Mendel straightened up, taking her hand subtly and glancing out of the window. The more he thought about it, the more he realised that Trina’s habits were less than healthy. At least now she had him. He hoped.

“You’re only a year or two older than me. The other staff are pretty damn old. I don’t disagree. You aren’t ancient, though. You’re not even old. Not much older, too. I got a sugar mommy, huh? I’m messing with you. Obviously.”

———

“Ha! Dream on, love. I’m pretty sure I’m about to be impaled by a spring in my bed. If I ever don’t turn up to school, there you go,” she laughed slightly.  _ Too morbid, Trin. _

“I could teach you. You have the hands for it, I think. You’d fit right into the family. That is, if you want to, of course.. I hope that didn’t sound weird.” 

She held his hand, smiling. She probably hadn’t genuinely smiled this much in a long time. Despite her sunny and bubbly attitude and atmosphere, she mostly just felt numb and empty. She loved her job and students, of course, but it was just her job. It wasn’t what she strived for in life.  Maybe, if someone would encourage her, she could start selling her paintings. She was just too afraid of rejection.

———

“I have the hands? I hope that’s a good thing,” he said cautiously, glancing at his free hand. 

Mendel was eager to understand her. Her quirks and habits and everything that made her distinctly  _ her.  _ He could tell there was something going on with he wasn’t sure what it was. He couldn’t tell if it was a good or a bad thing, either. He truly wished he could connect with her.

He’d do anything he could to make her life even just a little less miserable. Would he ask her to move in? Without missing a damn beat. He was just too afraid of rejection.

———

“Mhm! The skin’s a little rough, but your touch is so gentle and loving nonetheless. Or maybe that’s just because it’s me. Not like you’d massage many other people. I hope.” 

She laughed nervously, gripping his hand a little tighter. To be fair, she’d definitely say yes if he asked her to move in, but she wasn’t going to ask him if she could move in. She probably wouldn’t even ask to spend the night there if her mattress truly did stab her. She’d rather sleep on the floor than ask someone for a favor.

“You’re so sweet and considerate, you know that? You’re so nice to me, while you don’t have to be. It sounds weird, but it feels like you’re the only person who really understands me. Or at least understands enough to listen.”

———

Mendel examined his hands, looking at the few rings he wore. He pulled his hand back from hers, slipping one from his middle finger and handing it to her. 

“For strength,” he said, handing the engraved ring to her. “S’what my mom told me.”

He thought it was fitting, at least. It was something he could give to her at that moment. 

“I’ll always listen. I just thought you should know that. I’m nice to you because it’s what you deserve. I—uh, I don’t know if you think that, but I can assure you that you do.”

———

Trina laughed, sliding it onto her finger. It was a little too big since she had small hands, but she was not planning on taking it off. “Are you sure? Because this looks important—“

She inspected the metal and the engraving. It really looked like it was personal, so she was touched by the gesture. 

“Thank you. That means a lot. I’m sorry, I’m really bad with opening up. When I do say things about myself, I phrase them  _ terribly.  _ Sorry about that.”

———

“I’m sure. Wear it on your thumb or something. You have small hands. Not that that’s a bad thing. I like your hands,” he said quickly. 

It was personal, but so was their relationship. If he couldn’t give her stars, he’d give her strength. Or he hoped he could. 

“You don’t. I think it’s easier for you to be lighthearted about it than to just cry. You open up, but not in the same way someone else would. Does that make sense? Just know you can trust me.”

———

Trina nodded, taking it off and putting it on her thumb. Luckily, that fit perfectly. “Thank you so much.”

She nodded again. “I guess it feels like I’m bothering people less when I’m lighthearted. I cry plenty, but that’s just when I’m alone.” She cringed. “Sorry, I shouldn’t have told you that. It’s not that big of a deal.”

She glanced away from him, to the window, to her ring, and then back to him. She hoped that maybe, someday she could wear a wedding ring that matched his.

———

Mendel squeezed her hand in reply to her gratitude. He liked how it fit. Hopefully they’d be together long enough for him to buy her a real pretty ring. Expensive. He’d make sure it fit her perfectly.

“I think that’s a big deal. Now, I’m not saying you’re alone, but I think it’s because you don’t have anyone that you’re so closed off about it all. I mean, you have me now, and I get that I’m not the easiest to trust right off the bat, but I’m something.”

He shook his head, a half laugh, half scoff. 

“I don’t mean to sound like your therapist or anything. I just wanna help.”

———

“No, I know.. and thank you for that. It’s not you. None of my friends know all this stuff. I like to think I’m better at listening than at talking.”

Trina rested her head on his shoulder. It was a sign of vulnerability to her. It was comfortable too.

She briefly closed her eyes, thinking about everything she’d told him. Maybe it was a little much. Then again, it’d all been bottled up for 12 years. 

———

“Your friends don’t sound like they help you,” he said truthfully as he drummed his fingers on his leg rhythmically. 

Mendel’s expression softened as she rested her head on his shoulder. He felt the biting worry that she was doing this because she was lonely. He felt that maybe, not to say 100%, she was talking to him because he’d listen to her. Perhaps she was being nice to him because he’d listen.

He glanced out of the window and tilted back his head a little, but not so much this it disturbed Trina. He liked that she was affectionate, so he wasn’t about to screw up any affection she offered.

———

“It’s fine,” she replied, gesturing dismissively. “They’re nice and all, just not very good listeners.”

She shrugged. “But it’s fine. We’ve talked enough about me. What about you? You seem like you’re nervous a lot. Why is that? I hope that’s not too personal of me to ask.”

She nestled into him a little further with a soft hum, brushing her thumb over the back of his hand. God, he was so warm and kind.

———

“There’s not much about me to tell,” he said with an amused expression. “I’m nervous a lot because I have anxiety. ADHD, too. In retrospect, I shouldn’t be a teacher, because for me personally, those two things clash horribly.”

Mendel was impatient, and wanted to get back. Mainly for the impatiently awaited time alone with Trina.  He closed his eyes briefly. Anxiety rolled over him as he considered that Trina could look down on him after telling her that.

“That’s fine, though.”

———

“Ahh… I can see that. It’s good that you got diagnosed. Are you seeing a therapist?” A bit personal and hypocritical, sure, but she genuinely wanted to know. 

Trina looked out of the window, as the coach cane to a halt. “We’re here.” She stood up, pulling him up with her and letting the students out before them. 

They stormed to their rooms, clearly bored of sitting for so long, and she laughed softly. “So… time for ourselves, huh?” she said, playing with his curls.

———

“No, I’m not seeing a therapist,” he replied.

His mother always urged him to see someone about it, but he’d be damned if he ever agreed. Plus, the prices were through the roof.

Mendel stood up perhaps faster than he should’ve. After they were certain the students were settled in, and weren’t roaming the hotel, he was happy for Trina to pull him into her room.

She had a strong grip. He liked that almost too much.

“Yeah. It’s been...a day. And a half. I guess. Then again, this trip isn’t about us.”

———

“You know, I love you, but it’s really not sexy of you to say that.” Trina kissed him quickly with a taunting smile and pulled him down on the bed with her. 

She looked up at the ceiling. It was yellow, and the paint was chipped in some spots. Basically, it was ugly as hell. She reached for his hand, glancing over at him. “I can’t wait to get out of this place. It’s tiring.”

Her phone buzzed, and she checked it. It was nothing, but it did remind her what date it was.  _ Shit.  _ Tomorrow would be the anniversary of her parents’ death, and she’d spend it on a school trip where she had to be constantly alert, and on the road for a majority of the time _.  _ She absolutely didn’t like that idea.

———

“Was I supposed to say something sexy? I can assure you, that isn’t my area of expertise,” he said as she pulled him down. He laughed a little.

“I know what you mean. It’s kinda crappy here. I like to use it to remind me of the lack of funding the arts department suffers from,” he said with a seemingly light tone. “Cute, right?”

Mendel had to remind himself to  _ shut up _ . He glanced over at her curiously. 

“Everything okay, dear?”

———

“What? Yeah, I’m fine. Perfectly fine. Cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, no doubt, no doubt, no doubt,” she rambled nervously. 

She gripped his hand a little tighter, as she nodded. She wasn’t planning on bothering him any more than she already had. She fiddled with the Star of David necklace she had around her neck. He probably should’ve figured out she was Jewish by that. 

“I’m sorry. But I’m also fine. Don’t worry.”

———

Mendel frowned slightly. Something seemed very  _ not  _ okay. He shifted to sit beside her. He reached out to graze his hand over her cheek lightly. 

Okay, he should’ve noticed the Star of David necklace, but that wasn’t at the top of his priorities.

“I don’t know you well enough to know when you’re upset, but something is going on with you. Talk to me? You know that you can trust me. At least, I hope you do.”

______

Trina sighed, nodding. “It’s the anniversary of my parents… you know, tomorrow. And since we’re gonna be in a bus a lot, it’s gonna be hard, I know it. But I have to pull through for the students, to give them a nice trip. And I will.”

She fiddled with the necklace some more. Her mother had given it to her when she was only ten, so it meant a lot to her. 

“I’ll be fine. I’ll pretend to be for them, at least. They deserve a good day out.”

———

“I can manage it, Trina. Just stay here. I can take care of it. It’s a pretty relaxed day tomorrow. So I’ve got this,” he said, nodding. God, his heart ached for her.

He pulled her into his arms gingerly, and he rubbed her back slowly the way she’d done earlier. 

Mendel knew this wasn’t gonna be easy on her. If she’d mentioned it, he would’ve urged her not to come at all. Then again, why on earth would she open up to him like that when he wasn’t more than a colleague?

———

“No, no, no, I can go..” Trina protested, becoming less tense in his arms. It was silent for a while, until she started quietly crying into his shoulder. 

She really didn’t tell anyone. In fact, she tried to not think about it on the days leading up to it, until the day before where it hit her like a ton of bricks. 

She wasn’t going to let one day stop her from helping her students. It wasn’t like she didn’t trust Mendel to make it fun for them, she just felt responsible.

———

Mendel wasn’t sure how to comfort her. He didn’t know her to this kind of level, and so he had no idea how to help.

He had no concept of insight at that point, so he held her instead.

“I love you,” he reminded her, but felt that it wasn’t enough. Whatever she was feeling, he could tell she’d been ignoring it for a while now. He knew what that was like, at least.

“I’ll go tomorrow.”

———

“Thank you..” she got out through tears, catching her breath.

Trina pulled away after a while, wiping her eyes, looking down at the black smudge on her hand. “I’m sorry. But thank you. Are you sure you can do it alone?”

She really hoped that didn’t sound mean or judgy. She was just trying to help. 

Hopefully the students would act normal when it was just him, and hopefully they wouldn’t ask too many questions about why she was gone.

———

Mendel brushed his thumb beneath her eyes tenderly. He smoothed down her hair. He didn’t want to see her cry, but there was something about the fact she’d trusted him to see that that made him feel a sense of pride.  _ Was that too much of a bad thing to say? _

“Sure I can. Your students are pretty much invisible. Not that it’s a bad thing, they’re just very well behaved. I’ll tell them you’re sick,” he said. Mendel kept his voice reticent, afraid of raising his voice a little more.

He took her hands, kissing the back of them and lingering for a moment.

“I love you.”

———

“I love you too.”

Trina bowed her head slightly with a sniffle. “Sorry. I don’t mean to put this on you.”

She brushed a strand of hair behind her ear. “You don’t have to say it’s okay. It’s probably not. This was gonna be fun and relaxing, right? Sorry,” she rambled. 

“But thank you. It means a lot.” She sighed. “God, you deserve better than this.”

———

“I don’t think I’d spend so long liking you if I thought I could find somebody better,” he replied truthfully.

Mendel wished she wouldn’t see herself as a burden to him. To anyone. He ran his hand through her hair slowly in an impromptu attempt to soothe her. 

“C’mere,” He said, lying down and holding out his arms for her. Mendel just wanted to offer closeness to her, if anything. 

“Take it easy.”

———

Trina nodded, lying down as well and letting herself be held by him. She traced shapes on his arms absentmindedly. 

At some point, she ended up falling asleep in his arms, nestled into him. She stirred and trashed around a lot, a bit restless. 

Despite how uneasy she felt, it wasn’t because of him. In fact, he made it less bad. His loving grip was comforting, and she occasionally reached for his hand subconsciously.

———

Mendel didn’t sleep for a while. It was still early, anyway. He rubbed her waist absentmindedly as he watched her chest rise and fall. Uneasily. 

He wondered if it’d be like this when they got back. The bed would be more comfortable, at least. If she stayed, that is. She wouldn’t just ignore it.  _ Right? _

Eventually, he pulled away from her. He slipped out to his own room to retrieve pyjamas. He was sick of being cautious because it was a  _ damn school trip _ .

———

As he left, she turned and held onto the covers like she always did. Only this time, the covers smelled like him. 

She mumbled in her sleep, sounding a bit frantic. She shivered, although she was still wearing her clothes and she wasn’t cold at night normally. Until now, she supposed. It freaked her out a bit to feel the warmth suddenly disappear. Still, she didn’t wake. 

She could only hope he’d come back soon. She reached out for him, to no avail.

———

Mendel returned after a little while. He’d changed, and he slipped into bed beside her. He stroked her hair, observing the way her expression changed. 

He noticed her shivering and pulled the covers further over her small frame. It was no wonder she was cold; she was skin and bones. 

He eventually settled beside her, flicking off the light. He kissed her cheek. Mendel stayed awake for a little while, mainly because he was worried about her.


	5. You Want It? Go Get It.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> john mulaney references left right and centre. well, once again, i’m not proofreading, so apologies for any mistakes. i had around six mental breakdowns trying to figure this out. also two days are merged into one chapter for obvious reasons

Trina woke up the next morning relatively early with an aching feeling in her heart. She sat up, reaching for the brush on the nightstand and braiding her hair. She just wanted something to distract her.

She glanced over at the sleeping Mendel, and listened to his calm breathing. She ruffled his curls briefly, a hint of a bittersweet smile on her face. If only her parents could see her like this.

She patiently waited for him to wake up. She didn’t want to wake him. At least for the time being.

———

Mendel opened his eyes slowly, looking up at her. “Hey,” he mumbled, sitting up.

He noticed how her eyebrows were slightly furrowed. He kissed the corner of her mouth gently. “Good morning, I mean.”

He rubbed the sleep from his eyes blearily, and he cleared in throat. His voice was still gruff, and his eyes were tired.

“Have you been awake long?”

———

“Good morning.. no, not really. Just a few minutes. You look tired. Are you sure you’re okay to go on your own today?”

She looked down, noticing she’d slept in her clothes. She felt a little guilty that he’d have to do it alone. She’d have difficulty handling both classes on her own too.

“It’s okay if you changed your mind and want me to come anyways. I’d understand, you know.”

———

“Don’t be crazy. I can manage it,” Mendel said as he got out of bed.

He walked to the mirror, running a hand through his hair. He glanced at her through the mirror, noticing how the light from outside fell over her face and hair. God, she was an angel if he’d ever seen one.

“I know that now isn’t at all the time, but do you want my phone number? Not that I’m trying to flirt. I just wondered, in case you needed anything today.”

———

“Of course. And we’re already together, you wouldn’t need to flirt.”

She shifted, turning to face his back. “You’re very handsome, you know that?” she said with a small smile.

“I probably won’t need anything anyway. I’ll be fine, really. I still want your phone number, though,” she added quickly.

She was smiling a little, but her eyes were sad and lifeless. This really was a hard day for her, she just didn’t like admitting it.

———

“I don’t know. I—thank you, though,” he said. Mendel hadn’t really been complimented before. By those who aren’t family.

“You’re very beautiful, too. Your hair. It’s perfect,” he said gingerly. Mendel easily could’ve said a lot more about her, but he didn’t want to seem like he was obsessing. Which he was.

Her smile didn’t meet her eyes. He didn’t blame her, of course. Why would he? Mendel didn’t particularly want to leave her alone, but this wasn’t his to decide.

“You’ll be okay alone?”

———

“Of course. I’ll be perfectly fine.”

She stood up, wrapping her arms around his waist and kissing his temple. “Just go have fun with the students. What are you doing with them today?”

The height difference was less drastic now that she wasn’t wearing any shoes, but it was still noticeable. “You’re gonna do great, I promise. They love you. My students love you too.”

———

“You’re sure?” He asked, smiling a little dozily as she moved closer to him. “Workshops. Not so bad”

Mendel noticed the difference in height, and he smiled a little more tenderly now. “I’ll be fine. Really.”

He turned away from the mirror, wrapping his arms around _her_ waist. He reached one hand to smooth hair from her hair.

“How’d I get so lucky, huh?”

———

Trina gingerly pressed her forehead against his. “I’m the lucky one. And yes, I’m sure. I’m fine, dear.”

She closed her eyes briefly. “You should really go. The kids are gonna ask a lot of questions, no doubt.” She kissed his cheek, pulling away hesitantly. “Bye. I love you.”

She sat back down on her bed, sighing softly before waving a little. She didn’t really want him to go, but she understood he had to.

———

“I love you,” He said, scrawling his number on the pen and paper. Like hell were they writing a review or giving a rating, so it’d do. He handed it to Trina.

“Call me if you need me,” he said, pulling on his jacket and leaving with a sigh. Thank god the corridors were relatively quiet.

Mendel was quick to approach the restaurant in which the students were entertaining themselves enough without him getting involved.

———

Trina nodded, before taking off her clothes and changing into her negligee. She laid down on her side, crying to herself.

God, she really missed her parents. Their death was so unnecessary and tragic. They were only 40, after all. That was fucking young, especially when you have a 16 year old daughter.

At some point, she started hyperventilating, shaking heavily as her head pounded from dehydration. She never truly got the opportunity or time to really process their death properly.

———

Mendel’s day had, of course, started terribly. Three motion sick, one with a twisted ankle and a bitching group of girls (+3 very opinionated boys).

Trina, no doubt, would know how to deal with this kind of thing. He hated that he’d left her, but what else was there to do?

He considered texting her too many times, but figured that every time he tried to, something would come up. That was his luck.

Mendel couldn’t tell if he should’ve let her stay. Of course, she needed that time away for it all, but there was still the guilt of leaving her alone.

———

Trina didn’t eat all day. She barely drank water too. She was a mess, and you could tell this was affecting her more than it would if she was less closed off.

She just laid there, shaking and crying. She only hoped Mendel wouldn’t be too freaked out when he came back. She didn’t need that guilt added on.

She wasn’t about to call him, that would only be bothering him. Besides, what would he even do? He was too busy with the kids, she was sure of it. And so she left it, and stayed there, all alone.

———

Mendel was truly exhausted when he returned at 5pm. He’d made sure the kids had eaten and were either in their rooms or at least relatively close. They were using a spare function room as a lounge...thing.

He gently opened the door, and the sight really made his heart ache. Trina looked awful; eyes red and her hair a little messed.

“Hey, Trina,” he said, closing the door with a soft click. Mendel sat beside her, pulling her into his arms. He kissed her forehead chastely.

“I got you some water and a salad from the store. Kinda refreshing, I guess. God, c’mere.”

———

“I’m not hungry,”  she mumbled, staying close to him as she trembled. “I’m fine, I’m fine.. I’m sorry.”

She sniffled. “How was your day? Did the kids behave? I hope they didn’t ask too many questions about where I was. You look tired. Not in a bad way. You need rest.”

Despite her dismissive attitude, she was clearly not okay. She wasn’t ready to admit that yet, however.

———

“You need to eat something. It’s been a long day for you. Now, I’m no doctor, but that can’t be good for you.”

Mendel didn’t need her to admit it. As much as he wasn’t emotionally close to her, per se, he knew that her being ‘fine’ wasn’t the case.

“My day was fine. I told them you’re sick, and they got on with it. Everything went smoothly,” he commented as he rubbed her arm lightly.

“You don’t have to be alright.”

———

“Well, I am. I’m perfectly okay.”

Trina whimpered softly as she leaned into him further. “I’m sorry, again. But you really need rest. _Please_. I’d feel guilty otherwise.”

She clung onto him, a little desperate. She was in a lot of pain, emotionally and physically, and despite her protests, she needed him.

———

“Don’t be foolish, Trina. You aren’t, which is okay,” he reminded her.

Mendel shook his head. “I’m not even tired. Sure, I’m a little worn out, but that’s all.”

He pulled her to lie down. Mendel made sure they were face-to-face. He brushed his calloused thumb over her cheekbone. He pursed his lips a little. “They’d be proud of you. Your parents.”

———

“I’m not sure they would be. I mean, there’s not much to be proud of. I don’t think they’d want me to be in this position. At least they’d be proud that I’ve got you now.”

She really looked like a mess. Her face was blotchy and her lips were cracked and bleeding. She wiped the blood off with a shaky sigh. “I’m sorry.”

“You don’t need to worry about me, you know. I’m alright. I’m gonna be alright tomorrow, at least.”

———

“They would be. You’re bright, and gentle, and emotional. What they’d have like wanted you to be, Trina. What they wouldn’t want is for you is to turn away help. I’m trying to help you.”

Mendel handed her a tissue from the pack he kept in his jacket. “You should shower. Really, it’ll do something for you.”

He would worry about her more than she knew. He was bound to worry. “You need to take care of yourself.”

———

Trina nodded, standing up and stumbling over to the bathroom with a mumbled ‘sorry’.

She took off her negligee, letting her hair flow loose, getting under the shower and turning it on. She basically just stood there, letting the water run over her body as she contemplated everything that had happened.

Eventually, she got out, and dried herself off, putting her “pajamas” back on. She looked less bad, and she felt a little more refreshed too. She was at least glad someone was helping her. She sat down on the bed with a gentle sigh.

———

Mendel waited for her, obviously with nothing better to do. Other than think about her, but what was new about that?  

As she returned, he looked up at her. “You look like you’re gonna freeze,” he said, standing up. He pulled a sweater out of his bag. “Here.”

He sat behind her on the bed, pulling her damp hair back and messily braiding her hair. It was the best he could do, at least. Mendel kissed her shoulder softly.

“Do you need anything?”

———

Trina pulled the sweater over her head, feeling a bit warmed up. “Thank you, but no. I’m okay,” she replied, shaking her head.

“I— thank you for doing this. It means a lot.” Normally, on this day, she’d just go to school, and she’d be all alone in the evening. Even the stars that represented her parents dimmed. From the day prior, she sabotaged her health until she’d get pretty sick and would have to stay home for a few days. No one seemed to notice all her sick days were on the same days every year. She didn’t blame them.

“You didn’t have to help me. Not that I didn’t want you to— I just don’t want to bother you.”

———

Mendel pulled her back into his arms. “You know, you aren’t weak for accepting help, and you deserve to be taken care of.”

He wished she’d open up. Of course, he couldn’t force her into it, but he loved her, and he wanted to be close to her.

The love he had for her was all too much to handle, and it hurt him to see her so dulled. She was bright; all shy smiles and laughs.

“I love you.”

———

“I love you too..” Trina rubbed her eyes, her head rested on his shoulder. She pulled away slightly, reaching for a bottle of water and drinking some of it.

She put it back as she nestled back into him, comforted by his presence, reassuring words and advice.

It had already started getting dark, and she peeked over his shoulder, sighing in relief when she saw the bright stars. Instead of being dulled down like normally on this day, they seemed to shine brighter. It was like they knew. She sniffled.

“Thank you, again. It means a lot.”

———

Mendel pulled back the curtains further, and he glanced out.

“It’s pretty neat, right? The stars. They’re bright,” he said as he shifted closer to her. “Now, I don’t believe in that kind of thing, but that could mean something.”

He tapped his foot, unsure of what to say. She seemed happy to be in her own thoughts at that point, so maybe silence was golden with this kind of thing.

———

Trina nodded absentmindedly, staring out of the window. His reminder that it probably wasn’t real, made her inaudibly pray that it wasn’t all in her head.

Eventually, she fell asleep, her head bowed as she slumped against him. She’d had a long day, and she really needed all the rest she could get.

She mumbled quietly in her sleep, gripping his shirt at times.

———

Mendel shifted to ease her into lying down beside him. He covered her and kissed her cheek.

He wondered if he’d upset her with what he said. Knowing him, he did. Typical. He scoffed quietly to himself. He pushed aside the thought and wrapped his arms around her.

He didn’t sleep for a while, glancing at the ceiling and attempting to make out some sort of pattern. Hopeless. He eventually drifted off at what he assumed was 2am.

Onto day four.

———

Trina woke up the next morning, rubbing her eyes. Despite her feeling better, dear god, she really did not want to get up.

She yawned quietly, kissing his temple and running her hands through his hair. She glanced at her phone. Half past six. At least she had some more time to stay in his arms.

Hopefully Mendel got enough rest. She could tell he was exhausted the day prior, and he deserved to get some sleep.

She stayed silent, waiting for him to wake up patiently.

———

Mendel woke up slowly, eyes opening. He glanced at her, eyes clouded over from sleep.

“G’morning,” He said, voice husky and hair askew. He reached for her hand, kissing the back of it tenderly.

He really was exhausted, but more than happy to spend his time talking to her. He sat up, clearing his throat and yawning. He glanced at the mirror.

“God, do I always look like this?”

———

“If by ‘this’, you mean insanely handsome and adorable, yes.”  

She played with his messy curls, kissing his cheek. “Did you sleep well? I hope you slept enough. What are we doing today?”

Trina sat up with him, staying nestled into his arms. She felt so warm and safe. She hadn’t felt this comforted in a long time.

———

He blushed lightly but shook his head.

“I slept alright,” he said, rubbing his face. “I slept pretty early. Today? Another art museum. Well, it’s a modern art museum. So I guess it’s a gallery.”

Mendel rubbed her back, smiling when she stayed close to him. He pressed his lips to her forehead, lingering and smiling a little. It was nice to do this. He hoped there’d be more of this in future.

“Home tomorrow, right?”

———

Trina smiled, looking down. “Yes. Thank god. My shitty mattress is gonna feel like a mountain of feathers,” she laughed.

“It’s mostly gonna be traveling tomorrow. _So fun_ ,” she scoffed slightly. “At least it’ll take us home. I hope the students had fun this trip.”

Truthfully, she was pretty insecure about the week she’d given them. She just wished they’d have a good time.

———

“Stay with me. At my place,” he said quickly, bit his tongue after doing so. “Not that I’m pressuring you. I’m just concerned about your back and all. I love you, obviously.”

Mendel set his hand on the back of her neck, drawing circles with his thumb. He kissed her forehead before pulling back and smiling at her.

“You look very beautiful without makeup. With it, too. I can tell you’re a little insecure about that. Not that it’s a bad thing. God, no. I just thought you should know that you’re beautiful.”

———

“I know.. I love you too. I’d like to stay. I’d love to, really.”

She smiled. “And you’re very handsome. We should get out of bed. It’s almost time for breakfast, and we don’t want people getting suspicious.”

She reluctantly pulled herself out of bed, pulling out the hair tie and brushing her hair. She quickly changed and put on makeup. “I’ll go first, if you want.”

———

Mendel was waiting for the ‘but’ in her sentence, and was pleasantly surprised when it didn’t come up.

“I think they’re already suspicious,” he said as he went to the bathroom to change. He didn’t want to change in front of her. Just yet, at least.

“If you’re ready,” he called back from the bathroom. He smoothed out his hair best he could. He was, truthfully, just trying to impress her.

He was happy to see she wasn’t feeling as hellish as she was the day previous.

———

Trina hummed in response, leaving the room and closing the door behind her. “Bye. I love you,” she said quickly and softly.

As soon as she arrived downstairs, she was stormed by her students asking her if she was feeling any better. She gave them a fast, reassuring response, sitting down at the table where they’d sat for the other days.

She tapped her fingers absentmindedly, waiting for him.

———

Mendel gave it five minutes or so before approaching the table and sitting down.

“Hey,” he said, ruffling his hair a little. “You should eat something. I mean, of course you should, but, like, now.”

He was just concerned. He hadn’t reminded her to eat breakfast throughout the course of the trip, and he felt terrible for it.

“For me, at least? I’m not much of a breakfast person, but really, you’ll feel better.”

———

Trina shook her head. “I’m not hungry. I’m not much of a breakfast gal, either. I’m sorry. I’ll eat something on the bus.”

She ran a hand through her hair, feeling a little guilty for not listening. She wasn’t lying, though. She really wasn’t someone who liked breakfast. Mornings had to be fast for her, she supposed.

“You should eat something too. You don’t eat much, either, do you?” Her intention wasn’t to turn it on him, she just wanted to help him like he helped her.

———

“I’m not much of a food person. I’ll grab something while we’re out. Plus, this isn’t about me. Your calorie intake is...worrying.”

Mendel nudged her leg gently with his foot, a smile at the corners of his lips. He’d have to make sure she ate more. That’s if he actually _could_ intervene, given she wouldn’t grow bored of him.

“You want coffee? I’m gonna go get some,” he said, straightening up again. His posture was truly awful. Hers was excellent, but what did he expect?

———

“No, I’m alright. Just in general, too. I’ve lived off of less when I was a teenager,” she shrugged. “It was around 500 a day in those times, I can imagine. In hindsight, I should’ve asked a family member if I could move in with them.”

She smiled back at him, folding her hands in her lap. She didn’t actually have anything else to do with her hands. “You don’t have to neglect your own struggles for the sake of others.”

She frowned a little. “It’s not healthy, really. Rich coming from me, I know, but c’mon. You’re important too.”

———

“Christ,” he said, eyebrows raised. “You probably should’ve.”

As Trina implied he was ‘neglecting his struggles’, he scoffed lightly. “You sound like my mother,” he commented with a quiet laugh. ”I’m not neglecting my struggles; I just don’t enjoy it.”

Mendel noticed how she fiddled, and he resisted the urge to reach and take her hands. As much as he was enthusiastic about keeping up his spirit for the students, he was eager to get home. He planned on taking Trina out, if she’d let him. Flowers, champagne, ‘ _I’ll pick you up at eight?’,_ Italian restaurant _._ The whole shebang.

———

“Alright, jeez, I’m just trying to help you,” she countered with a laugh in return. “But yes, it sounds like you are. You deserve help. The same kind you’ve given me.”

Trina stood up. “I’ll get you the coffee. You deserve to just sit and not worry for a bit.” She walked over to the coffee machine, tapping her fingers while she poured the coffee into a mug. She didn’t really drink coffee that often. She was more of a tea person.

After a while, she returned, setting the mug down in front of him. “There you go.” She sat back down with a gentle sigh. “I hope it isn’t bad.”

———

He sipped it slowly. “Thank you. You didn’t have to. My struggles are very well tended to, actually,” Mendel commented as he tapped his fingers on the side of the mug.

“I prefer to offer support than to take it. Could be a euphemism, but maybe not,” he said, a short laugh proceeding.

Mendel looked down, sighing and looking back at her. “Do I look as tired as I feel? Don’t answer that. Spare me the pain.”

———

“Doubt it. Maybe that’s just an alibi, and you just don’t want to feel like a burden to others. You’re not asking _anyone_ for help. I know what it’s like, I’m exactly the same way. And it’s bad. So come on.”

She gave him a bit of a challenging look. “I will answer any question I wanna. You don’t look tired. You look sleepy, if anything. That’s cute,” she pointed out.

She couldn’t resist, and reached for his free hand, squeezing it. “You need to get more rest, I think.”

———

“I haven’t had a good nights sleep since I started teaching. Since high school, come to think of it. I’m managing,” he assured her.

An eyebrow was raised. She was...not going to not answer it. Very...strict? Hot. He shifted. “You know, you can tell me I look tired. I do.”

Mendel was trying to avoid the fact that she’d just about sussed him out, and he wasn’t about to acknowledge that.

“I don’t care to discuss my issues. I’m fine.”

———

“I care about your issues. That’s bad, Mendel. Really bad. High school? That’s ten years, isn’t it?”

She sighed. “I wouldn’t lie to you. At least not about something that didn’t concern me. You don’t look tired in the way you mean. You look troubled and like you need to get some rest. But that’s not your definition of looking tired, I suppose.”

Trina liked saying stuff like ‘I’ll do what I want.’ It made her feel less vulnerable and more confident, and good lord, she really needed some extra confidence.

———

He didn’t doubt she’d do what she wanted to. He didn’t mind it. Less people screwed around with her if she had that kind of attitude, he supposed.

“You’re making out like I haven’t _slept_ since high school. I just have a lot on my plate,” Mendel replied. “God, do I always look troubled? That’s worrying.”

Mendel sipped his coffee again, eyes fixated on the wall just past Trina. Did he look troubled? Mendel assumed that opening up to Trina would be the price he’d have to pay for her opening up to _him._

“I’m fine, though. Truly.”

———

“Uh, hellooo? I’m over here. It looks like you’re trying to convince the wall you’re fine. And that’s a good sign you’re not fine,” she pointed out, waving her hand in front his eyes.

“It’s just that you always look like you have a lot on your mind. Like you’re not really here, in some way. It’s worse on some days. I wish you’d open up to me too. I understand we don’t know each other _that_ well, but I opened up too.”

She sighed. “I wanna help. Just let me.”

———

Mendel blinked, glancing back at her in embarrassment. “I’m actually more than fine. I’m great,” he said.

He did have a lot on his mind, but he couldn’t pinpoint these things. It was a blur of small things. “I’m fine. Well and truly, one hundred percent fine.”

Sure, he wanted to open up, but now wasn’t the place or time, so he left his grievings until later. Not that she needed that kind of weight on her shoulders.

He finished the rest of his coffee.

———

“You know what you sound like? Like Rebecca Bunch when she’s trying to convince herself she’s happy when she’s not. Don’t say ‘what’, because I know you don’t understand, but the point is that she lies to herself, and so do you. That’s not healthy, love.”

Trina sighed, taking his hands. “I know this might not be the place to talk about it, but at least talk to me when we get home. _Please?_ You mean a lot to me.”

She set his cup aside, frowning a little in concern. “You can always talk to me.”

———

Mendel, however confused he was, didn’t ask what she was talking about.

“Look, Trina, I appreciate this and all, but I’m happy. Considerably happier than when we left for this trip. You really do mean the world to me, but I’m fine.”

Mendel patted the back of her hand, standing up and picking up his bag. “We should go,” he suggested, brushing himself down and sighing. Mendel was still trying to blink himself awake.

———

Trina nodded, standing up and glancing away. “Fine.” She ran a hand through her hair and gathered the students in a group.

Everyone entered the bus, and Trina sat down, leaning her head against the window with a sigh. She really had no idea how to help him.

When he joined her, she reached for his hand, and played with his curls. It was calming to her, especially because they were so soft. _Does he use conditioner or something?_

———

Mendel kicked himself as Trina was blunt with her reply. Excellent. He followed Trina to the bus.

Mendel took her hand, sighing as he sat down. He tilted his head a little as she reached to play with his hair. He closed his eyes.

“If you’re pissed, spare me the curiosity,” he said cautiously. “Not that I want to upset you. Of course not. I just want to know if you are.”

He wasn’t doing well.

———

“What? No, of course I’m not pissed. I have no reason to be. Why would you think that? Are you alright? You seem very tense.”

Trina frowned in concern, continuing to caress his hair in an attempt to comfort him. “Just relax, alright? It’s the last real day, let’s just make it fun.”

Although they only just really got to know each other, she was incredibly worried about him. He seemed so troubled and uneasy, and she just wanted to help him. She just didn’t know how. How she wished she did.

———

“Tense? I’m not tense,” he said with a nervous laugh. Mendel opened his eyes for a second, looking up through his brows. “You seemed a little short when you replied to me back there.”

He did want to make this day about the kids. They deserved it, of course. Mendel was uneasy, but he wasn’t sure why.

“You touch my hair a lot. That’s just an observation, my dear,” he added quickly, sighing. “Not that it’s a bad thing.”

He needed to learn how to express what he was trying to say properly. Add-ons would get him nowhere.

———

“Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to.” She smiled at him. “You don’t need to worry about it anymore. It was really nothing.”

“Yeah. Your hair’s really soft. Seems like you wash it a lot. What kind of conditioner do you use? Can I borrow it sometime?” she laughed.

“I bet it’s not just conditioner. I bet you use those hair masks too. The cheap ones from Germany with cocoa butter and fancy argan oils in them. L’Oreal, I presume. Or Andrélon. I wouldn’t blame you. They’re good.”

She smiled at him again, trying to keep it lighthearted. She liked conversations like those. They were fun, and she didn’t get to have a lot of fun.

———

“I didn’t even know hair masks existed until now, Trina. Believe me, I don’t have enough to waste on some lousy conditioner. It’s just two in one, as you might expect.”

Mendel laughed slightly. He glanced out of the window briefly. “I like your hair. It’s...very lively. Healthy looking.”

Was he going to tell her how much he loved her hair by reciting everything he’d planned out? Like hell was he going to do that.

“You also look very healthy.”

———

“Yeah, yeah, that’s what they all say.. My nephew said that, turns out he had a box full of the shit. By the way, my aunt runs this entire beauty and hair salon thing. I could probably get us some of it for free. Or at least for almost nothing. That’s the only real connection to family I have, so I better cherish it,” she laughed.

Trina briefly played with her hair. “Thank you.” She rolled her eyes at his comment on her health. “Ha-ha, that’s very funny. You’ve been telling me nothing but the opposite, so that’s not very convincing.”

“I still don’t understand why you think it’s expensive. Just walk into a dollar store, and you’ll see gallons of it for nothing. Sure, that’s not that high quality, but it’s still something. Huh. I guess your hair’s just naturally soft. You know, I’m convinced that one day you’re gonna try out some dollar store conditioner, and your hair is just gonna feel like it’s air.”

———

“You have siblings?” He asked, straightening up. Mendel didn’t mean to avoid the rest of her explanation, but found himself intrigued by smaller details.

“Also, I mean, as much as you don’t look healthy, you look... _healthy_.”

What the fuck did that even mean? Nothing of worth, he supposed.

Mendel wasn’t a conversation kinda guy. “Its not that it’s expensive. I just mean I have better things to spend my money on, I guess. You know, like paying the bills.”

———

Trina cleared her throat, clearly uncomfortable. “Yeah. I have a sister. Well, had. Rebecca. Becks. She died in the same car crash. She was 19. She got pregnant when she was young, just like mom. They were on their way to the airport. She was gonna go to Connecticut for college. My nephew was at a stupid birthday party with me. He was gonna go with her after that. Yeah, she was smart and strong. Taking care of a kid and going to a pretty damn good university. My aunt took my nephew in after that day. I wasn’t strong enough to get attached again.”

“Mmm, too heavy, I’m sorry.” She furrowed her eyebrows a bit. “I love you, but what the hell does that mean?” she laughed slightly. “Besides, taking care of your hair is important. And more importantly, it’ll become shiny.”

She smiled awkwardly. “Sorry again. I hope it isn’t weird now.”

———

“I’m sorry,” he said sincerely. His instinct. She’d lost her parents and her sister. Mendel hadn’t the faintest idea of how to comfort her. “It isn’t too heavy.”

Mendel shifted. It was heavy, but nothing he couldn’t deal with. He tilted back his head again. “It means I’m not gonna waste whatever I have spare on some crappy dollar store shampoo,” he laughed gently.

He crossed a leg over the other. “Did you grow up in New York? You probably mentioned that. You did, didn’t you?”

———

“That’s not what I meant, dumbass, I meant the health thing,” she chuckled. “And yes, I did. Don’t know why. It doesn’t really make sense to me. We weren’t really New York people.”

“You did too, right? You seem like you fit into the crowd better. I mostly just feel like an outsider here. Too sensitive, too emotional. New York is just so impersonal, it doesn’t seem to have room for people like that.”

She ran a hand through her hair. _Shiny._ “It’s fine, though. At least it’s not Portland or Alabama or something.”

———

_Of course she meant the health thing. Why the fuck would she talk about conditioner?_

He felt pretty useless after that, a blush rising on his cheeks from embarrassment. “You don’t seem like a New York person at all. You seem more like a Massachusetts kinda girl. Woman. You’re a woman. Obviously.”

Mendel nodded. “Born and bred. You should’ve heard my accent at the proud age of six. I like New York a lot. There a lot of things I don’t know, and things I’ll never know about it. Then there a things I do know, and things that are familiar to me. That’s what I like. I can know so much but so little at the same time.”

_For the love of god, be quiet._

———

Trina laughed. “First of all, thank you. Second of all, I would’ve loved to hear lil’ Weisenbachfeld’s accent. I don’t know what you actually sounded like, but I can imagine you in footie pyjamas, on Santa’s lap, talking like detective J.J. Bittenbinder.”

“I’m glad you like New York. My class and you are the only reason I stay, really. If it weren’t for you guys, I would’ve been long gone. Would’ve been in a stupid small Californian city, I guess.”

She tilted her head slightly, cupping his cheeks. “You’re blushing,” she taunted.

———

Mendel shook his head with a short laugh. “Thank god I dropped that. Not that I’d have anything to do with Santa. He’d probably point out the little Jewish boy and have me removed from the line of small Christians in footie pyjamas.”

“I’m also not blushing. It’ll be the crappy air conditioning,” he clicked his tongue dismissively and looking away.

“Why don’t w—you move? When your class graduates? Cape Cod is calling you,” he mused with another one-syllable laugh. “Maybe it’d be good for you.”

———

“I feel like streets-smarts-Mendel would’ve thrown a huge tantrum just to get to talk to Santa about gifts you aren’t gonna get anyways,” she shrugged, laughing.

“And you are blushing. Stop denying it, it’s so obvious. You blush easily, huh? I can tell. I think it’s cute, anyway.”

Trina pursed her lips. “Huh. Maybe I will. Maybe I can use my vacation savings for that. Yeah, if you’re telling me to, then I probably will. So that’s… three more years. Hmm. Thank you. As much as I think about moving, I never consider it a serious option, but I should probably start planning, then.”

———

There was something bittersweet about that. There was no definitive ‘we’. Even if there was, could he bear to leave NYC? Sure, he was happy that it was something she was considering, but if there was no ‘we’, he know exactly how it was gonna go. She’d move, they’d promise to keep in touch, daily texts would turn to weekly, and then to monthly until the only messages they receive from each other are ‘Happy New Year’ or the news that she’s engaged.

Mendel deemed planning a future with her as wishful thinking. He’d have to take what he could get as of then.

The concept of them no longer being a thing, and her moving away was truly upsetting to him, but he didn’t have control over this. He didn’t have control over most things in his life.

“I think you should do it, if it’ll make you happy. Get a pet. Find someone. Live by a beach or something. Start selling your paintings. I don’t blush easily.”

———

Trina frowned at that. She’d perceived him telling her to move as him not wanting her around, and this seemed to justify it for her.

 _“Find someone_? Mendel, we’re together. Was that, like.. you breaking up with me or something? B-because that’s a really weird and stupid way to do it. And you do fucking blush easily.”

She turned away, staring out of the window. She felt a little irrational, but she was also genuinely hurt. She bit her trembling lip hard, the frown persisting on her face.

———

“I— _what?”_ Mendel stuttered. He didn’t see his what he said suggested a—oh, no, he definitely saw that.

“It isn’t me breaking up with you. We’ve been together for a couple days. I’m not gonna drop you like that after months of pining over you,” He said with a hushed tone, accentuating ‘that’ with a snap of his fingers.

“When you said you want to move, I assumed you wanted to move alone. You said you’d start planning. That just, to me, sounded like it was an independent thing. God, I’m not breaking up with you. I just assumed that you don’t see a future for us past a couple of months. Hell, I have our damn lives planned out, but you? I don’t know what you think.”

———

Trina turned back to him with red, watering eyes, sniffling. “I’m sorry,” she simply said, wiping her eyes. “I shouldn’t have freaked out like that.”

She sighed, trying to calm herself down. “I’ve just told you so much, more than I’ve told anyone. So, just the idea… I panicked. Sorry. I love you..” she said, trying to make it right.

“I didn’t mean for it to sound like an independent thing. I just thought— I thought you suggesting me to move meant you wanted me gone.”

———

“I suggested that you move for the sake of your own happiness. I didn’t want to say ‘us’ because I don’t want to pressure you into staying with me.”

Mendel rubbed his face, bristles of hair grazing his palm. “I don’t want you gone. Even the thought of you moving away is...anxiety inducing. To say the least.”

He squeezed her hand gently. “Just—don’t apologise. I get why you freaked out. I love you too,” Mendel reminded her, lowering his voice towards the end of the sentence.

———

Trina sighed, leaning against him slightly. “Sorry. I’ll stay. In New York. It’s okay if you’re there.” She smiled a little, feeling awfully guilty.

“I’m sorry, again. I know you told me I shouldn’t apologize, but I probably should. _That_ was just,” she raised her eyebrows a bit, “unnecessary and irrational.”

She hastily kissed his hand, looking down at the ring he gave her. Thank god it’d stayed on. She had a feeling it was gonna mean a lot to her. Not that it didn’t already.

———

“I think that if you want to move, then you shouldn’t resist it. I think both of us know I’d follow you wherever you go. I’m like a lost dog. It’s almost sad.”

Mendel sighed. He smiled slightly as she quickly kissed his hand. He found that he was a challenge, even to himself, and he pitied Trina. He looked down at the ring on he finger. Well, thumb. He exhaled a sigh of what may have been relief.

“You know, I don’t think you should say sorry. Sure, you flipped out a little, but I gave you a good reason to. Not purposely.”

———

“I don’t think that’s sad. I think it’s sweet. And no, I’ll stay here. It wasn’t that realistic anyway.” She sighed. “God, I guess I’m really gonna be stuck in New York for the rest of my life.”

Trina really hated herself. She was gonna make it right, she had to. She was just so frightened of her trust being betrayed by him. Not that he would, of course.

She hummed quietly. “Are you sure? Because I would understand if you’re annoyed or angry with me. I’m a lot to handle,” she laughed nervously.

———

“I’m very sure,” he replied. “Why would I be annoyed? Well, anyway, I don’t think it’s unrealistic. If you wanted to move, you could. You don’t have to be stuck here. Maybe you should start selling your paintings.”

Mendel would give up what he had in NYC if it meant she could be happy with him. Maybe that was too much. _Was it too much?_

“Sure, California could be a little more expensive and dramatic than somewhere like Massachusetts. Either way, you could get there eventually. I can tell city life isn’t for you.”

———

“I would sell my paintings, but I don’t know if they’re good enough. Probably not, actually. I’m just too afraid that people won’t like them, and they’ll make fun of me. That would just crush my dreams, and I’m not up for that, you know?”

Trina ran a hand through her hair. She really hoped that, if she did move, he would come with her. If she moved on her own, she would have nothing.

“City life definitely isn’t for me. I’m just too artistic and sensitive, I presume? Not to sound like one of those “nice girls”, but I always just feel so lost when I’m walking through the city. I just feel so cold and alone in those moments. Most moments, actually.”

———

“They’re good enough. They’re original,” he said earnestly. “They’re a lot like you. If that made any sense.”

Mendel couldn’t let her move alone. He knew she wouldn’t take care of herself. As much as she’d be more relaxed, and less responsible, he understood there was something about her that told him she wouldn’t.

“I understand that. You’re too...demure for New York City. Not in a degrading way. In the sense that you’re reserved. The city is a ton of opportunities you never really get, and I don’t think that’s what you’re looking for.”

———

“Well, thank you. I know it looks like I only do still life from my sketchbooks, but I also do portraits, and those are considerably worse than the others, so..” she laughed a bit nervously.

If she moved, she’d probably be riddled with guilt over just abandoning the life she had in New York, as objectively crappy as it is. She wouldn’t want to leave without him, but she’d feel like she was forcing him to come with her, and that would make her feel worse.

“I really don’t know what I’m looking for. Happiness, I guess, but that just seems unachievable here. I feel like everyone in NYC is stuck in this kind of vicious cycle where they lose more than they gain by taking the risks you’re encouraged to take. It’s like 15 Million Merits. Don’t know if you’ve seen that, but it’s not important. Sorry.”

———

“Sorry? Why?” he inquired, cocking his head. “Everyone is looking for happiness. Sometimes you find that in another person instead of in California.”

Mendel sighed softly - something he did a lot. He assumed, using his oh-so-powerful skills of deduction, that Trina struggled to find what she needed. Maybe she didn’t know. Now, that would be a very different thing. All in all, he was just trying to convince her that he could make her happy. Somehow.

“You have me, I guess. Well, you know. I’m something. We could really have a life in the city. I hope that wasn’t too forward. I just think we have potential,” he explained with a sheepish laugh.

———

“Just because. I don’t know. I say too many things people don’t understand, and then they get confused and then they don’t want to talk to me anymore.”

She shifted slightly. “I don’t know why, but sometimes it feels like everyone is happier than me and that it’s my fault I’m not happy. Then other times it feels like everyone is having a way harder time and I need to stop whining.”

Despite the sad nature of what she just said, she gave a small smile that barely met her eyes. “I don’t think it’s too forward. We should just hope no one else heard it,” she laughed a little. “I think we have potential too.”

———

“I’m sure nobody heard it,” he said, although there was the creeping fear that somebody had. No, his voice was lowered. It had been for the entire ride.

“You should speak to somebody if you feel like that. Not that I’m implying anything, but that doesn’t sound healthy. Sorry.”

Mendel patted her thigh gently. He glanced out of the window. “We should be getting there pretty soon, by the way. In case you were wondering. You probably weren’t.”

———

“I can’t. Again, I’m _so_ broke. My physical health is total garbage, but I’m still here, so by that reasoning I should be able to survive bad mental health too, right?” She clicked her tongue subtly.

“Yeah, we are. I’m glad we’re gonna get some time to ourselves, since the kids can go look around by themselves. They’re gonna get some kind of booklet with questions, right? Yeah.”

She smiled at the soft and loving touch. “I actually don’t really like modern art that much. I used to, but I just feel like it’s lost all its meaning. I think that people in the past were actually trying to express themselves, but nowadays people just paint whatever and think of a meaning around it afterwards just to make money.”

———

“Good philosophy. I have to say I agree with you on that. Some of it is interesting, but it seems shallow,” he commented. He was trying to sound interested in the subject, which he was, to an extent.

“Also, yes. A booklet. I have no doubt that my students will only fill half of it,” Mendel added with a sigh. They couldn’t write about something they didn’t care for, and he’d learned that over the few years he’d taught them.

“I still think you should see someone. My mom, she’s a psychiatrist. I don’t know how that’d work out with us...you know. But she could probably figure something out for you.”

———

“My students will probably try, but they’ll probably think the questions are too surface-level. They just want to look at the paintings and take it in for themselves, really. I don’t blame them.”

She smiled when he agreed with what she said, and tried to sound interested. To spare her, she presumed. “I’m glad you feel the same. Although you probably don’t think about it much.”

“Yeah, but I’d still pay her. She shouldn’t have to feel obligated to help me just because I’m dating her son. Really, from what I’ve heard, she’s probably gonna be disappointed when she meets me. Like, this is the girl you’ve been pining for for so long? Are you sure this is the right one?”

———

“No, I don’t think so. You’re alike; you and my mother. Very...artsy,” he said, shrugging. “I think she’ll be a little too happy that I actually have a girlfriend. I think she’s half expecting me to bring home a man, and she’ll tell me it explains why I’m so distant from women.”

Mendel shifted, running a hand through his curls out of habit. He hoped Trina and his mother would get along. Well, the fact she wanted to meet his mom was a step itself.

“You’re one of the only women I’ve been close to. Then again, I don’t get on with men. Middle ground, I guess. Codeword for ‘lonely’.”

———

“I wouldn’t mind ‘a little too happy’. I like it when people are overeager and enthusiastic. It brings a spark of energy to the bleakness of life. It makes me feel liked, too.”

Trina frowned a little. “I think you could get along with people well enough if you found more people who are like you. You’re very unique, in a good way, but I think you need people who truly understand you.”

The bus halted, and Trina got up, just letting the students enter the gallery. The museum guides would explain, and they’d had this with the previous art gallery too. She held his hand as they went inside after the teens.

———

Mendel thought a lot about what she’d said. Perhaps he did just need to find more people like him. He had so much on his plate that he hardly had the time to socialise.

As they were finally out of sight, he took the opportunity to hold her hand a little more securely.

“So. Modern art, huh? There’s a lot I don’t know. Maybe there’s a lot you don’t know, not being a fan and all.”

———

“I know which artists I do like and the ones I don’t. And judging from what I can see from first glance, most of these artists are just sellouts, which is a little sad.”

She smiled at the affection. “I’m not gonna think about that right now, though, because I just want to focus on you now that we have some actual time semi-privately.”

She ran her free hand through her hair and sighed quietly. Last day. Thank god. She resisted the urge to kiss him, since she didn’t want to do it when they’d just entered.

———

Mendel smiled slightly at that. “Well, that’s sweet. I’m glad we have semi-alone time. It’s better than nothing, right?”

He was eager to get home. One more night with Trina on the crappy mattress, and then the following night with Trina on his half-decent mattress.

He glanced at her, a little too pulled in by the way the light hit her face. She was all cheekbones and soft lips. God, he could marry her.

“You look good.”

———

Trina looked back at him. “Do I? Well, thank you.. You look good too. I like your outfit. It really suits you. It compliments your eyes.”

She really could’ve proposed on the spot. Mendel would probably beat her to it someday, but if she could propose at an appropriate time before him, she would definitely take him back to Queens.

That was a pretty weird sentiment, because even though this place symbolized the start of their romance, it was messy and bleak and sad and she didn’t actually like it all that much. Still, it would probably seem better in the future due to the memories.

———

“I—thank you,” he replied with a nervous laugh. His outfit was almost mismatched. “I mean, it’s the light. You always look good, but this lighting is flattering. Is that the right word? Hell, I don’t know. You look very beautiful, is what I’m saying here.”

He only hoped he’d make it as far as proposing. It may seem too early to think about that if he hadn’t spent his time planning it all out for months.

Queens wasn’t all that, but he was maybe attached to it now. Of all the places she could’ve kissed him, it had to be in Queens. Typical.

“Sorry.”

———

Kissing him wasn’t planned. Definitely not, with how anxious it made her. It was kind of inevitable, the two of them as the only adults on a school trip with hotel rooms next to each other. They were also madly in love with each other. Obviously.

“No, don’t apologize.” God, she couldn’t resist when he looked like that. She turned, her hands on his hips as she pulled him in to kiss him. She was never gonna get tired of that.

She didn’t break the kiss for a long time. She was enjoying it far too much to do that, and she enjoyed making out with him more than looking at meaningless paintings made by corporate shitheads.

———

Was Mendel complaining that she’d kissed him? Absolutely not. If anything, he was grateful, because he knew he wouldn’t have done it.

Mendel was surprised to feel her hands on his hips and her lips on his. Once again, no complaints from him. He delighted in just how long the kiss had lasted, and his hand rested on her lower back.

He pulled away after what seemed like forever, looking her in the eyes, his own eyes wide. “You know, I’m convinced I’ll never be tired of that.”

———

Trina kept her hands on his body, brushing her thumbs along his hips. He looked sweet and flustered, and his eyes were sparkling. He was the most handsome man in the world to her.

“That’s good. Me neither. You’re a really good kisser, you know. I’m not sure how many times you’ve kissed in the past, but for someone so flustered, which isn’t a bad thing, you kiss like you have experience.”

She smiled, moving one hand to his curls. She just liked playing with his hair. It was soft and a little out of place, but she thought that added to how sweet he looked.

———

“Never kissed anyone,” was all he managed, his eyes slightly glazed over. God, she was _radiant._ He loved that she kept close to him. Of course, he loved being with her at all, but the closeness really made it for him.

“You’re a great kisser. Very, very great,” he said, still slightly dazed as he leaned into her touch. She was gentle enough for him to pass out. She could look at him, and he’d faint. So cliche.

“I like kissing you. More than I should, maybe. I could do it for the rest of my life—“

———

“Really? Although you’ve mentioned you don’t really get close to people, I find that a little hard to believe. You seem to know what you’re doing to an extent.”

Her hand drifted downwards towards his cheek as she cupped it affectionately. He was adorable when he was like this, and it made her feel very loved.

“Thank you. I’ve never kissed either. I’m really just making all of this up as I go,” she chuckled softly. “I’m glad you’re the first person I get to kiss, though. 28. Seems a little late, don’t you think?”

———

“Darling, I’ve been thinking ‘it’s a little late’ since the excellent age of twenty. I’m just glad I got you instead of someone I’ll never see again.”

Mendel kissed her palm softly, taking her hand after doing so. He looked forward to having time where he could do small things such as kiss her without having to worry about being spotted.

“I’m surprised you haven’t kissed anyone. I think you’re pretty enough. Well, not _just_ pretty. You’re a very wonderful woman. Very wonderful.”

Mendel stepped forwards to kiss her again. Soft, chaste, brief. The variation in kissing was sweet to him.

———

Trina smiled, blushing lightly. “I never really thought about it since I was 16. I probably would’ve kissed someone if _that_ hadn’t happened. I’ve been too focused on not being homeless or starving, really,” she laughed.

“I don’t think I really realized how much I’ve wanted to kiss you until I actually did. Obviously, I’ve been in love with you for quite some time, but this— I never could’ve predicted this.”

She squeezed his hand gently, scanning the room briefly. “Do you want to go somewhere else? Somewhere a little safer, you know.”

———

“I think that’d be best,” he replied, beginning to walk hand-in-hand with her. Another thing he liked. Her hands were cold, but soft. Almost delicate.

“I don’t know how long I’ve wanted to kiss you for. You wouldn’t believe how many times I’ve thought about it. It’s embarrassing, it is.”

Mendel’s eyes remained on her, despite the titillating pieces around the room. He wondered what her definition of ‘safer’ was. Did she mean quieter? More secluded?

———

Trina brought him to a more private room, pulling him into a corner by his shirt. There wasn’t a student in sight, and that was exactly what she wanted.

“You’ve been on my mind a lot for the past years, you know. I like to think I’m good at hiding my emotions, so I’m not sure if you could tell. I was always too afraid to confess, because I always thought your crush on me was gonna end soon.”

And she still thought that. She perceived herself as a huge bother, especially with how open she’d been. From her perspective, Mendel should’ve run far away from her already.

———

“If I’d have known, my life would’ve been a hell of a lot easier,” He said, hand on her waist tenderly. “I made it obvious. I’m not sure if I regret that.”

Mendel pulled her a little closer, pressing his forehead against hers. He leaned in to kiss her again, lingering for a moment this time.

“You wouldn’t believe how much time I’ve spent thinking about you. About us. That sounds...compromising. I can assure you it isn’t.”

Okay, he wasn’t about to go into the intimate details of it all. Not that she needed to know, anyway.

———

“I’m sorry about that. You know, if you hadn’t made it obvious, I wouldn’t have had the confidence to kiss you on the first night,” she admitted. “So don’t regret it.”

She was still baffled by the fact that he liked her. That anyone liked her. “I don’t know how I was ever worth your time,” she laughed slightly. “I hope I gave you enough attention.”

Trina noticed by the blush on his cheeks that it probably was compromising. Not that she minded. She was very attracted to him, so she _really_ didn’t mind.

———

Mendel smiled. “I’m glad you kissed me. Of course, I’d be glad just to spend time with you, but I don’t know how much longer I could stand being just friends. I’d respect it you didn’t want to be with me—you know. Sorry.”

He’d probably made it obvious that his thoughts concerning her weren’t always so clean. Not that he was perverted. He just thought she was pretty.

Mendel stroked her cheek, smiling slightly. He brushed a calloused thumb over her cheekbone. Very strong cheekbone.

“I can’t wait to go home.”

———

“Of course I wanna be with you, love. You’re amazing and sweet and handsome and most importantly, I’m in love with you.” She gave him a reassuring smile.

She leaned into the touch, smiling a little brighter. “I can’t wait either. When do you want to come over for dinner? Sure, my house sucks, but we could have dinner at my place and go to yours in the evening.”

She didn’t want to subject him to the horror that was her house, but she really wanted to do something for him. Cooking for him felt more personal. It was safer than a restaurant with her allergy, anyway.

———

“Whenever you’ll have me, my dear,” he said, a little dazed by her. It would be indecorous to stare, but he couldn’t help himself this time around.

“I just thought you should know that you’re welcome to stay at my place. I could really use the company,” he said, rubbing the back of his neck.

Mendel _wanted_ her to stay with him, to say the least. Whether she would was another thing. He thought about domesticity with her, and he thought about waking up beside her. The thought made him blush.

———

“You can come whenever, really. I don’t really do anything in the evenings, since I don’t have to prepare lectures that much. I just give them assignments.”

Trina lit up at his suggestion. “Oh, I would love to. I think it’d be good for both of us. When you sleep next to me, although it’s only happened a few times.. I actually get rest. I tend to wake up in the middle of the night a lot.”

If she got the chance, she’d totally make him breakfast when she stayed. He did mention that he wasn’t a breakfast person, so it probably wouldn’t be a smart move. Maybe he’d like a smoothie or something? She really had no clue. She just wanted to show him she cared.

———

“I hardly sleep, so you’ll do me good, I hope,” he said. “It’ll be more comfortable for the both of us.”

Mendel noticed how her eyes lit up at the mention, and his heart rate picked up a little. She was so bright. Of course she was. She always was. Mendel, again, went back to thinking about her. He was sure he’d pass out if he woke up to Trina making breakfast. Maybe wearing his shirt, or a sweater. Maybe in her underwear. He smiled dozily, blushing.

“You’ll stay with me tomorrow night?”

———

“Yes,” she said with a giddy smile.

“That’s not good. It’s Friday tomorrow, so you should sleep in. I could make us something. I can get some money from my savings so we can get some wine and fancy food.”

She quickly pecked his nose, readjusting his hair. She thought it looked sweet with how messy it was, but it still bothered her sometimes, so she felt the urge to fix it every once in a while.

“I’m not sure if I’m a good cook, but my parents taught me from a pretty young age, so I have some experience.”

———

“I’m sure you’re a great cook,” he replied, drawing circles on her waist with his thumb. “If you weren’t, I don’t think I could stand insulting you.”

Mendel blushed a little deeper as she fussed with his hair. It was a disaster, to put it lightly. “God, I’m sorry about my hair,” he laughed, looking down. He looked up again, figuring Trina was wearing a low-cut shirt, and didn’t want to seem crude.

“I’m glad you agreed to stay with me. Don’t feel like you have to, or anything. I just thought I’d tell you.”

———

“No, it’s alright, love. I think it looks sweet.” She smiled, cupping his bright pink cheeks. “It’s really soft too. I know I’ve already said that, but it’s worth saying again.”

The affectionate touch on her hips made her blush lightly too, and she looked down at his hands. “You should probably say something if it’s bad anyway. I can’t improve otherwise, you know?”

Truth be told, she’d probably be very hurt if he criticized her cooking. She was gonna give it her all. Fuck Greece or France, right? “I know. I want to. I love sleeping next to you, and it’ll be better when we won’t have to be scared of a student knocking at our door.”

———

Mendel absolutely wouldn’t criticize her. He couldn’t stomach it, truth being told. Mendel leaned in to kiss her again.

“I really can’t stop with that,” he laughed nervously as he rubbed the back of his neck out of habit. “You truly are a doozy. Really.”

Mendel ran his hands over her hips absentmindedly, wondering if he could do that when they were alone. Would it be too much?

“That’s also very true. We’d be damned if a student knocked.”

———

“I definitely don’t mind. Again, you’re a very good kisser.” She put her hands on his, smiling at him. She could tell he had to stand on his toes to kiss her properly.

“I would probably panic and shove you in my closet, and you’d fall out when I was talking to the student,” she laughed. “It seems like they’re rooting for us, though.”

Trina liked the idea of people wanting them to get together. She would still stay with him if people were against the idea, but she really needed approval.

———

“Maybe we should say something. That’s if they haven’t already gathered it,” Mendel said. “Falling out of a closet seems like something I’d do. Sounds like every rom-com ever.”

He moved a hand to her back timidly, keeping his touch light. He didn’t understand the boundaries just yet.

“We aren’t paying so much attention to the art,” he commented, looking around as he noticed her gaze on him. “I suppose that’s what we’re here to do.”

———

“I am. You’re art. More so than anything in this room, really.” Cliche? Probably. But he really should’ve seen that coming.

“I don’t know what we would even say. They’d probably go crazy whatever we said. And ‘every rom-com ever’ isn’t necessarily a bad thing, is it? I like rom-coms. Mostly ones that are really fun. Mamma Mia.”

She wasn’t sure what he was gonna say to that, since, again, he appreciated media like that on a deeper level than she did. She was just looking for distraction, really. This was the first bit of fun she’d had in 12 years that wasn’t a distraction.

———

“‘Mamma Mia’? Cinematic art,” he said, smiling at her as he pulled her closer by the small of her back. “Every rom-com ever isn’t a bad thing.”

Mendel reached his free hand to stroke her hair affectionately.

“I think you’re art. The way you act. Obviously the way you look. You’re a goddess. Truly. I worship the ground you walk on,” he stumbled, a nervous laugh following.

———

“Hell yeah it is. Everyone in Mamma Mia is an icon. Truly.” She swiftly went along with the movement he initiated, tilting her head back a little as she laughed lightly.

“Well, thank you.. You’re art too, but in a different sense. You’re something very good on first glance, but even more perfect and interesting when you look deeper. Like Black Museum, if you will. I don’t think you know what I’m talking about, so you probably won’t.”

Trina moved them a little further into the corner, her lips parted slightly as they came dangerously close to his. She put her hands on the back of his neck, looking into his eyes dreamily.

———

The moment felt unusually intimate for a public place. He looked back at her, eyes flickering slightly. He didn’t know what to say. Or what she’d said.

“Uh-huh. Yeah, no, I don’t know what you mean. That’s okay, though,” he said as he subtly glanced at her lips and back up to meet her eyes. God, have mercy. She was a dream.

“Hey,” he stuttered. He was very much thinking about her. Her hand on the back of his neck and each soft breath matching his.

———

“Hey..” she whispered back. She couldn’t fuck this up. She wouldn’t let herself. She knew how compromising this would look if someone walked in, but she didn’t care. She was there with him, and that was all that mattered.

She could tell by the vacant and dreamy look in his eyes that he was distracted from her.. by her? It was a strange situation, but a nice one nonetheless. At least she tried with the pop culture comparison.

She rubbed the back of his neck, more sensual than comforting, if she were to be completely honest. She thought it was fitting enough, although she could only hope it wasn’t too inappropriate.

———

Mendel shuddered slightly. His inner frustration was directed at the fact that they were in public. Well, he was thanking his lucky stars that the room was vacant. And it would most likely stay that way.

He settled his hand more assuredly on her lower back, and he faltered before leaning in to kiss her again.

Mendel wasn’t the type of man to throw away affection. Especially when it came from his now-girlfriend with a good smile, better personality and a wonderful body.

His legs felt a little weak.

———

Trina noticed, and smirked a little before happily kissing him back. _Okay_ , so now they were just full-on making out in a corner in a museum filled with bad art. God forbid someone saw this, like a staff member or a student.

Dear god, she really loved him. He was very sweet, and even just his presence and the sound of his breathing was immensely comforting to her.

Finally, for once, she was happy. Happy enough for now, anyways. Things were gonna look up for the both of them when they got back home, she was sure of it. They were a dream team, she could tell.

———

Mendel didn’t mind it too much. Of course, he was cautious, but she was enough to make him lose all rational thought.

He pulled back after a minute. “Holy _crap_ ,” he exhaled, kissing her jaw quickly and timidly. Mendel’s eyes met hers, and it took too much energy not to look away. It was too much to stand. Her eyes were half-lidded and her lips a little pink.

She was _hot_. But, of course, this wasn’t the place for a tightening in his pants. She really was hot.

“Yeah. Holy crap.”

———

Trina was as shocked with the entire situation as he was, and _especially_ with how turned on he looked. I mean, her? Really? The plain art teacher with paint stains on her clothes and who can’t deal with anything?

Her hands remained on his hips, and she had to resist the urge to kiss him again. Kissing him was amazing. He was gentle and soft, but passionate and loving nonetheless.

The lingering fear of being walked in on persisted. Her cheeks were flushed not only because of the excitement, but the nerves too. Dear god, she just wanted to be home with him.

——

Mendel really wondered why she’d shown such an interest in him. He was nothing special, and he’d grown to accept that. He was plain, and that was no news to anybody.

He was chary of kissing her again, and his eyes flitted around the room. Of course, he wanted to, but what could he say if they were walked in on practically pressed against a wall.

The thought of being alone with her, uninterrupted was his idea of bliss. God, was he grateful for the week passing moderately quickly. Someone was clearly working in his favour. Or so it seemed.

Mendel ran a hand through her hair, chewing his lip a little.

———

Since they were actually gonna be alone the next day, in their own apartments, there was probably a 50/50 chance that they were gonna end up having sex. She wasn’t sure if that idea scared her.

Trina pressed a quick kiss to the side of his neck. It was small and innocent, but deep down, it was teasing, and they both knew that.

She really couldn’t wait to be alone with him. Then they wouldn’t have to be nervous anymore, and they could just tell each other what they wanted to tell each other. ‘I love you’ being the main one. If one of the students heard that, they would go absolutely insane.

———

Mendel considered the concept, lost his mind for a solid 7 minutes before gathering himself and realising he couldn’t panic at the mention of sex.

Not that anyone had mentioned it. Hey, perhaps it wouldn’t even come into play. Still, it terrified him. As she kissed his neck, his mind was sent in many different directions. He couldn’t decipher if she was teasing, or was just being affectionate.

And still he stuttered, blushing with a lighter shudder than before. He was prepared to have the freedom of “ _I love you.”_ He knew he wouldn’t stop himself when he had her with him. The least he could do was tell her that.

———

Trina would’ve liked to stand there for much longer, but as she heard footsteps approach, she realized she couldn’t. She readjusted her hair, moving away from the corner with reluctant hesitation.

It turned out to be a group of Mendel’s students, asking if they could go into the city since they’d finished the booklet. She gave them a short approving answer, telling them they had to be back by 2:30.

When they were gone, she sighed, tilting her head back and crossing her arms. Habit, she presumed. What happens now? It would probably be unnatural to move back into their original position.

———

Mendel noticed her awkward stature, and he noticed how she turned to a painting to distract herself. He stood behind her, hands on her hips. He pulled her back slightly, kissing her shoulder.

“You told me you don’t care for modern art,” he teased, squeezing her hips gently as he settled his chin on her shoulder.

If anything, he was trying to diffuse the tension. She seemed a little more hesitant to show affection. He didn’t blame her for that. Well, at least he tried.

———

A smile returned to her face, and she turned around to kiss him again. She really couldn’t have any more students asking if they could go out in that moment.

She pulled back after a while, her hands on his face. His cheeks were soft and flushed red, which she thought was very cute. She brushed her thumb over them affectionately. “Don’t be mean,” she teased back.

Something about the chemistry between them and his effort to make her less tense worked. Really, really well. She just wanted to be alone at home with him, not in an art museum or a crappy hotel filled with students.

———

“Mean to you? I could never,” he said, starry-eyed. Mendel reached to take one of her hands, kissing the back of it softly. He smiled gingerly.

“I’m hoping you want to leave as badly as I do,” Mendel mused as he brushed his thumb over her knuckles. “I don’t regret the trip. I’d just really like to be home. With you.”

He was already planning out what he’d do upon arriving home. He wanted to make Trina feel loved, and that he would certainly do. Would she want to stay with him after that?

———

Trina laughed quietly, having to try very hard to resist pinching his cheeks. He might see it as patronizing, while she would’ve meant it as affectionate.

“Oh, definitely. As much as this trip is frustrating and severely underfunded, it brought us together. But it’s probably gonna be much better and much more fun when it’s just us, and we don’t have to be scared of being walked in on anymore.”

She just hoped she’d be a good girlfriend. As much as she pretended to, she had no idea what she was doing and she was basically just improvising. She loved him, and she was gonna show it, and she was gonna be good at it. She had to. She couldn’t mess this up, her life would pretty much be over if she did.

———

Mendel hadn’t a clue how to treat her, or how to be a romantic. He _wasn’t_ a romantic. He would simply try to show her how much she meant to him.

“Spend the weekend with me? You don’t have to. God, no. I just want to smooth things over with you. Not that there’s anything to smooth over. I just want to talk.”

He rubbed her hips softly, trying not to make it too obvious he was staring. Of course he was. He’d been staring for a while now. She had that kind of effect on him.

———

Trina smiled brightly, nodding. “I would love that.. Really.” She moved her hands on his, laughing quietly at his lovestruck stare.

She glanced at her watch, her smile fading and her eyes growing disappointed. “It’s 2:30.. we have to go.”  She patted his hand, leaning in to kiss him. It was gonna be a long bus ride, but at least they had time to themselves. The students were gonna get dinner at the hotel, and they were just expected to figure what they were gonna eat themselves.

She led him towards the hall, where the students were already gathered, which means they couldn’t be intimate anymore. She was really looking forward to the weekend.

———

Mendel didn’t want to leave the intimacy and affection, but he supposed the sooner they got on with things, the sooner he’d get home.

He followed her, rocking on his heels as he stood behind her. He cleared his throat before trying to gather his group into a smaller huddle. Successful, for once. That was definitely new. He noticed the murmurings, and tilted his head slightly.

Mendel stood beside Trina. “Congrats,” one of his students called with a grin, and Mendel suddenly wanted the ground to open up.

———

Suddenly, that didn’t really affect her anymore. Now that actual private time with him neared, she didn’t have a care in the world. For now, at least. “Thank you. Get in the bus,” she said in a poised but assertive voice.

She walked behind the group of students as they did as she said, checking if they had everyone. They did, and she settled in the bus with a sigh.

The radio played in the background, muffled by the students chattering.Mendel’s students were talking just a bit too loud, so she could tell they were talking about them. Great.

———

Mendel sat beside her, rubbing his face. He was more so uncomfortable that they could’ve been seen making out. He hoped it would be something a little less compromising, for their sake.

“Hey,” He said quietly. He thought about the assertive tone she used. Huh. He pushed that aside, straightening up. “Keep it down!” Mendel called out to his students.

He pinched the bridge of his nose and leaned back into his seat. “Home tomorrow,” he reminded her.

———

Trins chuckled softly at the students groaning in dismay and ignoring Mendel’s command. She listened closely, and she heard no mention of them making out, which was a relief to them. Maybe they were just too sappy and obvious.

“Hey. Thank god, right? They seem like nice kids, but your class is exhausting.” She may or may not have said that last sentence a little louder, purely out of spite.

She occasionally looked behind her or out of the window, moving her hand to his nonetheless. Who cares, right? Not her, clearly.

———

His class were truly petulant. He scoffed, almost a laugh. He took her hand, squeezing if lightly. Part of him felt relieved that they’d figured it out. Then there were the consequences back at school.

“They _are_ exhausting,” he said, the same volume as Trina. This earned him a few playful sneers. “How I haven’t had a meltdown by now is beyond me.”

Mendel glanced out at the bleary city. It looked like it was going to rain. He didn’t care, it seemed. “At least we got that over with. I just hope it wasn’t for nothing.”

———

Trina laughed, tilting her head back slightly. “Well, you’re with me now, so you’re _definitely_ gonna have a meltdown now. I’m more exhausting than all of your students combined.

She really hoped there wouldn’t be any consequences. Then again, something like this had happened before with two of the older teachers, and that wasn’t an issue, so they probably didn’t have to worry.

“Most likely not, right? We’ve come this far,” she said with a reassuring smile as she brushed her thumb over the back of his hand. Even though her hands were relatively soft, they were bony. You can thank her pink grapefruit scented hand cream for the softness.

———

Her touch was delicate, and that really did something to him. He smiled slightly. Mendel wondered if there’d be times in which he could hold her hand in public. On dates. Now, that’d certainly be an excursion from his dull life.

“Don’t be absurd, Trina,” he said. “You’re the thing preventing that breakdown. You know, you aren’t as much of a problem as you see yourself to be. You think you’re all baggage and gloom. You’re actually a very bright woman. We all have baggage.”

He squeezed her hand softly, offering a lopsided smile. _Was he saying the right things?_

_———_

Trina smiled, leaning against him lightly. “Thank you.” She kept quiet for the rest of the trip. Not because he said something wrong, just because she wanted to save her energy for when they were alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you!! any feedback would be appreciated. we worked hard on this for a while, and so it’d be great to hear something back.


	6. You Two are Dancing in a Snowglobe, Round and Round.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> another long chapter consisting of the evening of day 4 and travelling back on day 5. epilogue after this one. this is also very soft, and slightly suggestive

They arrived after about an hour, and the teens scattered around the hotel, either on the balconies, in the lounge, or in their rooms. She brought him up the stairs, and into her room, as soon as she was sure no one saw them.

She shut the door and immediately leaned in to kiss him again, her hands going a little lower than the small of his back. She wasn’t about to take it far, she just wanted to test the waters.

———

Mendel, of course, wasn’t going to take it far. What, in a crummy hotel with students in rooms around them? Absolutely not.

Still, he made a noise of surprise into the kiss as he felt her hand drift lower than his back. God, she was going to kill him. He blindly reached up to cup her cheeks as they kissed. 

He stumbled back so that he was closer to the wall. He figured he’d need support if his legs were going to give out, which was actually incredibly likely.

———

She moved one hand to his chest, unbuttoning the first two buttons of his shirt. Again, just teasing, really. Her lips remained on his, and even though her eyes were closed, she could just tell he was blushing.

The bliss didn’t last long. There was a knock at the door, and Trina’s eyes widened with a bit of panic. Oh, God.  What were they gonna do? Well, they already discussed it, she presumed. 

She grabbed him by the half-undone shirt, opening the closet door and shoving him inside, moving her finger on top of his lips. “Just— shhhhh, please.” 

———

Mendel very much could’ve laughed if he weren’t so anxious.  _ She actually meant it? _

Well, so much for a good time, it seemed. He clearly stayed quiet as she’d requested, but the situation seemed too comical to be taken seriously.

Comical if his buttons weren’t undone and her hand was momentarily starting dangerously close to his ass. He was probably the one supposed to do that, or whatever you want to say about cliches and stereotypes. 

Of course, he would much rather be kissing her. Maybe teasing back, if he had enough of that previously mentioned fortitude. Instead, he was just shoved into a closet.

———

It was mostly a spur of the moment thing. She didn’t really know what else she could’ve done. She regained her composure and opened the door with a gentle sigh.

It was one of Mendel’s students (great), who was coming to ask about when they had to be downstairs for dinner. That was on the piece of paper they were given at the beginning of the day, but whatever, right? 

Not right, apparently, because she got many follow-up questions, mainly about if Mendel and her were ‘fucking yet’.  _ Perfect.  _ It was clear that the teen just wanted to know about them and their relationship. After 5 agonizing minutes, she finally managed to get rid of the student, and she closed the door with a sigh. “Where were we?” she said, opening the door and pulling him back in.

———

Mendel wasn’t given the gracious opportunity of laughing, but settled for the gracious opportunity of kissing her. He hooked his arm around her waist, pulling her close.

He was trying not to think about what had just happened, because he was sure he’d laugh at the absurdity of it all. Instead, he focused on her.

He cupped the side of her face, deepening the kiss. Bold, which was unusual. He was giving her the control of this kiss, and he wondered if that said anything about him.  _ I wonder what that suggests… _

———

She raised her eyebrows a little at his bold move. Not very  _ him _ . Not like she minded. She pinned him against the wall, her hands on his arms. She hoped he didn’t mind.

After a while, she did pull back, catching her breath and bursting into light laughter. Her breathing was a little uneasy from all the adrenaline of the past minutes.

“Gutsy move, Weisenbachfeld. What gave you the confidence to do that?” She tilted her head a little, her face completely flushed a bright shade of pink.

———

He would try to form a coherent sentence, but she had just pinned him against a wall.  _ Oh my god. _ He felt woozy. In the best way you could feel like that,, of course. It was a real shame they couldn’t take this anywhere.

Mendel’s own face was flushed, and he was breathing heavily and unevenly. He cleared his throat, trying to keep his eyes on hers. 

“Gutsy? I, uh—it wasn’t  _ gutsy _ , per se. I just thought that I’d…” he trailed off, much too distracted to finish that sentence.  _ On her eyes, Weisenbachfeld. _

_ ——— _

Trina laughed, noticing him staring at her body. “Up here,” she said, tilting his chin up with a smug grin on her face. “And I think it was. You’re getting bolder. That’s a good thing, of course.”

She threw herself down on the bed, patting the space next to her. “Come lie down,” she spoke, her voice both inviting and assertive. 

She looked up at the ceiling, waiting for him to join her. All this secrecy and passion was exhausting, and she breathed heavily, a small laugh escaping her lips.

———

Mendel blushed. Was it a good thing? Fortune favours the bold, maybe. His mother always said that to him, and he didn’t understand what it meant for so long. Not the time to think about his mother.

He noticed her assertive tone, and he raised an eyebrow. Mendel sat beside her, smiling slightly. He ran a hand through his hair.

Mendel laughed quietly, shaking his head. “I don’t mean to ruin the moment, but you pushed me in a closet,” he snorted, rubbing his face.

———

“ _ I don’t mean to ruin the moment, but you pushed me in a closet _ ,” she imitated. “That’s what you sound like. And what else was I supposed to do? I did what I had to, you’re welcome.”

She reached for his hand, pulling him down. “I said lie down, not sit down.” She turned her head to kiss his neck briefly. For someone who had no romantic or sexual experience, she knew how to tease.

She played with his hair with her free hand absentmindedly, her eyes vacant but dreamy, her lips pursed a little. “Thank god we only have to travel tomorrow, huh?”

———

“Thank you for that, Trina, that was an excellent impression,” he said, still chuckling to himself. “A  _ closet.” _

He moved to lie down, unsure of what she was trying to achieve with her assertive tone. Well, whatever it was, it was working. Most definitely.

“Yeah. Thank god” he replied, glancing at her. Mendel offered a small smile and closed his eyes as he shifted closer to her. “Did you know that you’re very beautiful?”

———

“You’d think so by how many times you’ve told me,” she whispered, before leaning in to quickly kiss him, her hands on the back of his neck.

She pulled back after a while, her hands remaining on his neck. “Yes, a closet. Did you want me to shove you under the bed or something? It was really our best option.”

Maybe she could’ve jumped in the closet herself, but that would probably spark more questions from the student. Why would Mendel be in her room without her there? She really didn’t know what other option they had.

———

“I’ve told you that a lot? Sorry. God,” he mumbled, scratching his beard. “Maybe you could’ve answered the door without opening it entirely.”

Mendel pulled her a little closer by her waist, moving a hand to her hair. He closed his eyes again, kissing her jaw softly and gingerly. She had a strong jawline, come to think of it.

She had a strong everything. Unlike him. He was cursed with bad genes. She had everything, really. Cheekbones, bright smiles, brown eyes. Not  _ just _ brown, though.

———

“No, no, no, don’t apologize. It’s not a bad thing. I think it’s sweet. Very sweet.” She was dangerously close to him. She absolutely hated having to hold back. The chemistry was almost too much for her to deal with. 

“I think that would’ve come off as suspicious too. Besides, I’m not exactly proud of shoving you into the closet. I didn’t really know what else to do in that moment.”

Even though she could tell he had bad genes, she thought he was perfect. He was handsome and warm and smart, although not so much socially. She thought that was adorable anyway. 

———

“You could’ve told me just to stand out of sight,” he chuckled. Mendel noticed how close they were, and he was sure it’d drive him mad. He leaned in so that his lips were grazing hers.

Mendel liked her impulse, and the way she liked to have control of things, and he liked the way she looked at art. It was one of the hundreds of reasons he loved her so.

He could only hope for a future for them. A bright future, at that. A wedding? Maybe that was wishful thinking as of now. Was he wrong for thinking so far ahead? Like he hadn’t been doing that for far too long.

———

“Well, I can’t go back in time, now can I?” she whispered against his lips. “Besides, there would’ve been a bigger chance that we’d get caught, and then you would have to go back to your own room.”

Honestly, she was already planning out their wedding. He said he liked Mamma Mia, so their wedding song would be an ABBA song, no doubt. 

She bit her tongue to prevent herself from asking if he wanted kids. She could only hope he did. If they would have a daughter, she’d name her Arella, and if they had a son, she’d name him Nathaniel. After her parents, of course. She could only hope he actually wanted kids.

———

Mendel wanted kids. Of course he did. Maybe that was why he was so attached to his students. He wasn’t sure he was the father type, which terrified him. Would he let Trina down?

He kissed her softly, sweetly. “True. So I guess the closet was the best place for me at that point,” he mused, smiling slightly.

“Well, that worked out well, at least,” he added. Mendel took her hand, sighing. A pause. “Do you think we’ll last, Trina?”

———

She gripped his hand a little tighter at that. “Yes,” she answered quickly and resolutely. “I hope so, at least. I hope you won’t forget about me when we get back. I hope you won’t get bored.”

She brushed over his cheekbone with the thumb of her free hand. “Truth be told, I’ve been dreaming about being with you for so long. I’m not just gonna let that go.”

It did seem logical that he wanted kids, since they were both teachers. At least that meant they were a little more educated on how to deal with teenagers than others.

———

“Why on earth would I get bored of you? I’m sure you know how long I’ve been pining,” he laughed embarrassedly. “God, I wish you’d told me. I truly do.”

Mendel closed his eyes with a dreamy smile. He thought about having a child with her. Or children. Not that he wanted to think that far ahead, but he couldn’t shake the thought of it. Hell, he’d love it. 

“It’s a nice thought. That we’ll last. You know what I mean?” He asked, eyes still closed. “A future.”

———

“I’m sorry. I always thought it’d be over soon, and that when we actually got together, you’d be disappointed and leave me after a week,” she said quietly. 

“I agree. You mean like.. marriage and children? Or just that we’ll stay together after this?” Dear god, she hoped it was the former. To be honest, she’d be a little embarrassed if it wasn’t.

She closed her eyes as well, her heart fluttering at his smile. He seemed so content. Thank god for that, huh? Maybe it would fade. She silently prayed it wouldn’t. 

———

He was a little surprise she’d said it. “Yeah. Like, marriage and stuff. Children,” he admitted with an awkward laugh. 

Mendel couldn’t ever leave her. She was possibly the most interesting and complex woman he’d ever met, and he wasn’t going to throw that away.

He hoped she wouldn’t find that unusual. Or too sudden. He’d thought about it for months, and yet it seemed too soon to say.  _ Was it too soon?  _ Surely, if she’d brought it up…

———

Trina let out a sigh of relief, laughing breathily. “Thank  _ god.  _ I was thinking the same thing. I have been for some time. I love you.” 

She was convinced she could never be bored of this. The excitement of trying to hide it was fun too, sure, but this was so much better. Just them together, talking, safe and domestic and warm. It was a dream come true.

She pressed her forehead against his, her hands on his cheeks as she stroked them lovingly. God, if only she could freeze time. She’d never let this moment go if she could.

———

Mendel smiled at her, kissing her nose affectionately. “You have? I just kinda guessed you wouldn’t agree.”

He was glad she’d agreed, because he’d be in deep if she hadn’t. What was he supposed to say if she’d dismissed his ideas? The thought made him nervous.

He wanted domesticity with her more than anything. He could practically see it; coming home from work with her, kissing her cheek, having dinner together, buying her flowers.  _ Doing other things. _

———

Trina furrowed her eyebrows a little. “Really? Why? I thought it was a little too obvious. Besides, I would be the biggest bitch on the planet if I just shot you down. But yeah, I have. Way too much, actually.”

Well, if they wanted kids,  _ other things  _ would be necessary. Unless they adopted, but why would they? Maybe it was just an excuse for wanting to have sex with him.

She moved her hands so that her arms were around him, allowing them to be even closer to each other. She loved being close to him. He was warm and soft, and his touch was gentle and loving.

———

“You wouldn’t be a bitch for it. I think it’d just be you being honest with me. Which I’d understand,” he said, although he knew the concept of her rejecting him was upsetting.

Maybe he did just want to have sex with her. Of course, he wanted children with her, too. The thought made his stomach flip. “Yeah.”

Mendel held her close, rubbing her back. He liked being close to her in general. It was almost too much to be apart from her. Especially after this trip.

———

“Well, it doesn’t matter anyway, because I do want marriage and kids. I’m glad you want kids. Just in general, but with me, too. I just hope I’ll be a good mom.” 

To be honest, the idea that she’d be a bad mother was terrifying to her, mostly because she’d let Mendel and her parents down by being a bad parent.

She’d tensed up a bit at that concept, but him rubbing her back was so comforting that she immediately relaxed again, humming quietly. “You’re too sweet,” she whispered quietly.

———

“You’re like a mom to those kids as it is. Think about how you’ll be with your own kids,” he said softly. 

Mendel was terrified of being a bad father. What could he do about it? He’d have to take it as it came. He smiled as she relaxed, and he relaxed too. 

“I love you,” He said quietly, keeping his eyes closed and keeping close to her. The way he always wanted to be. 

———

Trina smiled, her eyes almost falling shut. The intimacy and warmth of it all was slowly making her sleepy, despite it being relatively early. 

“Thank you,” she said, her voice slightly slurred from how tired she was. “I can only hope I’m as much of a help to my students as they tell me. Sometimes I’m scared they’re lying to spare my feelings.”

She could tell they had the same insecurities. Maybe they could help each other through it. She wished she could help him.

———

“They wouldn’t tell you that if they didn’t mean it. I can assure you,” he said. “That’s how kids are. They stay quiet unless they want to say something they think they need to say.”

Mendel noticed how her voice slurred, and it warmed his heart. “You sound tired,” he laughed slightly. “You should sleep, Trina.”

He stroked her hair slowly, kissing her forehead as he held her close to him. So close to her he could feel her breathing on his shoulder.

———

“Mmm, I’m not  _ that  _ tired, I’m fine,” she weakly protested. “But alright.. I love you.” She closed her eyes, not falling asleep until about 5 minutes later.

Her calm breathing turned to mumbling, her arms staying around him in her sleep. She could only hope he would get some sleep too. 

On normal days, during normal nights, she’d probably have nightmares about being rejected by him. But it wasn’t a normal day or a normal night. She was with him, sleeping next to him, and god, was that feeling comforting. A faint smile stayed on her face as she slept, peaceful for once.

———

Mendel slipped away from her, only to change. After pulling her back into his arms, he draped the covers over them. 

He kissed her forehead, smoothing back her hair and closing his eyes. He didn’t sleep for a while, mainly just listening to her breathing and thinking about how this would feel being at home with her.

He noticed the small smile on her face, and it gave him hope. Mendel drew her close and drifted off beside her.

———

Trina slept calmly through the rest of the night, waking up the next morning at about 7. She opened her eyes, immediately smiling at the sight of him. 

She yawned quietly, desperate not to wake him up. They still had a bit of time (15 minutes, maybe), and she didn’t want him to get less sleep than he needed. Besides, he looked adorable asleep. 

She just watched over him. She was so glad she got to sleep next to him. Nights were always horrible for her. She was always so lonely, and she never got the rest she needed, because she always woke up multiple times due to nightmares. 

———

Mendel stirred after five minutes or so, opening his eyes slowly and reaching for her hand. “Hey,” He said gruffly, rubbing his face.

He pulled her closer, kissing her neck sleepily. “God,” he murmured. “You sleep well?

He blinked himself awake, sighing. “What’s the time?” Mendel inquired as he stretched out. He yawned quietly. He sort of liked the domestic side of waking up with her.

———

“Hey..” she responded, closing her eyes briefly. “I slept great. Especially because I slept next to you,” she said truthfully. “It’s great sleeping next to you.” 

She blushed when he kissed her neck. “It’s five past seven. We should probably get out of bed soon,” she groaned. “I don’t wanna. I wish we could stay here like this forever.”

Rubbing her eyes, she kissed his forehead, lingering for a moment. “This’ll probably be even better in your bed. Then we’ll actually be alone, on a more comfortable mattress.

———

“I’m sure it will be,” he said in reply. “I just hope you don’t change your mind,” Mendel added, more of an out loud thought.

Mendel sat up, yawning again. He cleared his throat, trying to rid himself of the roughness in his voice. He hated how he sounded in the morning. Well and truly. To him, his voice was like a broken record no matter how he spoke.

“At least it’s just travel, huh? I don’t look forward to it, but at least we have my place to go back to, right?” Mendel offered with visible hope. He was still trying to accept everything that had happened between them in such a short period of time.

———

Trina sat up next to him, resting her head on his shoulder. She could tell he was insecure about his voice, and she was determined to make him feel better. “You sound great, love,” she said quietly.

“And yeah, exactly. I’m excited to see your apartment. And of course I wouldn’t change my mind. I love you,” she reassured him, her hand on his cheek. 

She stretched, pulling herself outside of bed. “I’m gonna go get dressed. We should leave the room separately again. Everyone would spontaneously combust if we came out together.” She reached for a brush, combing through her hair.

———

“True. I can leave before you, if you want. I’ll probably take less time to get dressed,” he suggested as he got out of bed. He ran a hand through his hair, glancing in the mirror. 

He pulled clothes out of his bag; a sweater a little too big and a pair of off-colour trousers. Typical. Well, he made the best of it.

He went to the bathroom to change, not wanting to do so around her. Boundaries. Mendel fixed his hair in the mirror, and he gave himself a less than impressive inner pep talk. If he was going to take a woman home with him, he’d have to do it right.

———

“Rude,” she countered, already fully clothed. She was good at getting dressed quickly. She tended to oversleep with how little rest she got every night, so she had to be fast about it.

She braided her hair, putting on mascara and lipgloss. Truthfully, she just wanted prove him wrong. Since she was done before him, she just listened carefully. Clearly, he wasn’t too good at keeping his pep talks ‘inner’. She stifled a laugh. She decided to be nice enough to spare him his dignity.

“I’m leaving,” she called, a hint of spite to her tone. “I’ll see you downstairs.” She picked up her purse, opening the door and going downstairs.

———

Mendel felt a sense of panic rise as he caught onto the bitterness in her tone.  _ Good going _ . Had he upset her already?

He was quick to finish dressing, picking up his bag and flitting out of the room. Of course he’d said something wrong. When didn’t he? Well, that was just self pity. He pushed it aside.

Mendel spotted her, and he sat down opposite her. “I—hey,” he said, a little breathless. “Okay, so I took longer,” Mendel said awkwardly.

———

Honestly, she was just fucking with him. “Ha! I win,” she said triumphantly, keeping quiet. She laughed, moving her hands to his face. “You’re all red. You look like you, like, ran after me.”

She felt a little bad for him, but the teasing grin remained on her face. “Oh, I’m sorry, love. I’m just messing with you. You know that, don’t you?” 

She moved her hand to his. “Hey, I’ll get you some coffee to make it up to you, alright? Do you want anything with it?”

———

“You scared the shit out of me,” he said, rubbing his face and sighing. “I really thought you were mad at me. I could’ve cried, Trina!” 

He was only half joking, come to think of it. He laughed it off, shoulders slumping slightly. “I can get the coffee, it’s okay.”

Mendel shook up, patting her shoulder before going to retrieve his drink. He was embarrassed, at the very least. Oh, god, she’d surely drop him if she realised how attached he was. Of course she would.

———

Trina frowned slightly. She didn’t mean to make him insecure. She took a deep breath, sitting back and twirling a loose strand of hair around her finger.

Her eyes drifted towards the ring around her thumb, and she smiled a little. Hopefully he wasn’t mad at her because he thought she was mad at him. That would be very confusing and upsetting. 

She glanced around the room, waiting for him. The idea that they could go home together made her feel a little better. Just travel, right? 

———

Mendel returned, setting down his cup of coffee and a glass of orange juice. “I just thought that if you aren’t gonna eat, you might as well enjoy this.”

He sipped his coffee slowly, glancing around. He could feel eyes on them again. Of course. He reached over the table for her hand, a little less cautious. 

He was so ready to get home. Sure, he could do with sleep, but he was happy to spend time with her alone.  _ Alone _ alone. As in, just the two of them.

———

“Thanks,” she said with a smile, brushing her thumb over his hand and sipping her juice.  _ Gross.  _ How can you even fuck orange juice up? Well, he got it for her, so she ignored it, fighting a grimace. 

“It’s gonna be a long bus ride today, isn’t it? When are we arriving again?” She put her glass down, resting her head in her free hand and tilting her head.

She was so done with all this. With bad hotels and having to hold back affection. She just wanted to shower him with love, and make all his worries go away.

———

“The bus journey isn’t so long. Depending on the traffic,” he said, sighing a little. “It’s still a little while, though.”

Mendel noticed the face she made as she sipped her drink. “You don’t have to drink that. I have water,” he said, handing her a bottle from his bag.

He sat back, yawning and tilting back his head. He’d slept moderately well, so his fatigue was a mystery. “You okay?” He asked after noticing her silence.

———

“I hope traffic’s not too bad. That means we’ll get to be alone sooner, huh?” she offered with a small, a little uncomfortable smile.

Trina sighed, taking the bottle and sipping it. “Thanks. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to look ungrateful. I hope the coffee’s good?”

She fiddled with her dress. “What? Oh, yeah, I’m alright. Are you?  You look tired. Not in a bad way. You did actually sleep well, right?” She furrowed her eyebrows.

———

“You look very uncomfortable,” he noted, tilting his head slightly. “That’s all I meant when I asked if you were okay.”

Mendel nodded anyway. “I’m tired, but I slept okay,” he replied, the fear he’d upset her still lingering. He squeezed her hand a little.

He liked that she cared and that she asked him. Few people ever asked how he was, and it really touched him that she cared so much for him. Of course, he cared almost too much about her. Was it too much? He had that thought often.

———

“I’m not uncomfortable,” she said, shaking her head. “I’m fine. Really. And are you sure? Maybe you can sleep on the bus,” she suggested. Truth be told, the reason she was so uncomfortable was because she was so fed up with this place. 

“We should leave soon. We’re going early today,” she said, scanning the room. Most kids were finished already anyway, so they could probably leave in a minute or two. 

She vacantly stared at nothing, her wrist starting to ache due to her head resting in her hand. She shook her hand with a small frown, red lines having formed on her wrist. 

———

Mendel inspected the back of her hand, brushing his thumb over the lines. “You always sit like that. It probably isn’t good for you,” he said softly.

“But yeah. Let’s go,” he replied, standing up. He brushed himself off and downing his coffee. “I’ll sort out the kids. You can go to the bus, if you wanna.”

Mendel pulled down his sleeves and stretched as he spoke up to draw the kids into a group. He was so impossibly glad it was Friday. That, and the fact he’d gained a girlfriend from all of this. A girlfriend being the woman he’d been waiting for and fawning over for months. Almost years. 

———

Trina nodded, standing up and walking over to the bus. She stood by the door, letting everyone in before her. When everyone had entered, she sat down in the front, leaning her head against the window with her eyes closed. 

She wanted to be home with him so badly. She was impossibly glad that she was with him now, but, dear god, this trip had drained her. She couldn’t be more exhausted. 

As soon as he sat down next to her, she reached for his hand and tilted her head so it was rested on his shoulder. She sighed shakily. 

———

Mendel frowned. “Trina, are you alright?” He asked quietly, looking at her with an expression of concern. 

He kissed the top of her head subtly, his heart rate picking up slightly. He panicked whenever she showed the slightly hint of being anything less than okay. 

Mendel glanced out of the window, furrowing his eyebrows slightly as his eyes traced a raindrop that rolled down the window. And with two other raindrops. He turned his focus back to her. “Sleep.”

———

“M’not tired.. I’m fine. If anyone should sleep, it’s you,” she mumbled, closing her eyes and leaning on him just a tad too heavily. 

It was as if she was collapsing from all the exhaustion of the week. She really did need to get her energy back up before their date at his house. She wasn’t about to ruin it for him. 

She was fatigued and sleepy and mentally drained as well. Five days of hiding a relationship while also having to control 35 students was hard for her. Maybe it was easier for Mendel because he had so much energy, but she wasn’t like that. She was reserved and quiet and she liked calmth, so she was so, so,  _ so tired _ .

———

Mendel shook his head. “You know, you’re stubborn. Very,” he said. “Go to sleep. Who knows, we could be back by the time you wake up.”

He knew that Trina wouldn’t always tell him the truth, and he supposed he’d have to accept that. Sure, he was tired, but he wasn’t  _ drained _ . He also knew that she would try to keep up her spirit even if it killed her.

He squeezed her hand lightly, pulling her closer to him and securing an arm around her. He wanted her healthy, if anything. Happy, if anything more.

———

“I’m fine..” Her weak attempt at protesting was unsuccessful, of course, because she fell asleep almost immediately anyways, the grip on his hand loosening. 

She was lightheaded because of how little she’d eaten over the last few days, even by her standards, and her back pain was almost unbearable. Sleeping in an uncomfortable bus seat wasn’t gonna help that, she was sure of it. 

At least he cared about her and for her. She really did miss having people look out for her. She slept relatively calmly, stirring on occasion.

———

The rest of the journey was relatively quiet. The students were as tired as they were, it seemed. He was grateful for that. 

He occasionally glanced down at her, making sure she was at least slightly comfortable with where she was sleeping. He planned on taking care of her when they got back.

Upon arriving back, he gently nudged her awake. ‘Gently’ being the operative word. He nudged her maybe a little too suddenly. At least it was softly.

———

Trina shot awake, straightening and tensing up. Upon looking out of the window, she was greeted with a crowd of parents and siblings.  _ Oh, thank god.  _

She got up, standing at the door and making sure everyone left safely and got to their parents alright. Luckily, there were no real issues, and she glanced over at Mendel with a tired smile.

Her braid was a little messy and frizzy for the sleep, and she pulled out her hair tie. “Shall we go, then?” Her smile grew brighter. 

———

Mendel smiled slightly at her unruly hair. He smoothed it out, laughing quietly. “We shall,” he said, holding out his hand for her.

He was grateful to be back in the city as it was, and he was infinitely more grateful to be taking Trina home with him. He opened the car door for her, closing it once she’d settled in. Mendel moved their luggage to the trunk.

After slipping into the car, he smiled slightly at her. “You okay to go?” He inquired.

———

Trina moved her hand into his lap, nodding. “Yeah. I love you. God, I’m so glad I can just say that now without having to be cautious.”

She smiled and sighed happily, closing her eyes briefly. “Do you usually turn on music when you’re driving?” She just didn’t want the drive to become uncomfortably quiet.

It was so strange to be going home with him. Truly, she still thought he was just being polite for inviting her. She was never gonna stop being insecure about that, huh?

———

Mendel didn’t reply, instead opting for turning on the radio. He wasn’t looking for uncomfortable silence, either. 

“I love you too, by the way,” he added, moving a hand to pat her thigh as he drove. He liked that. Even if the concept of saying it still made him woozy.

He was hit by the nerves of going home with her very suddenly, and he tensed up slightly. He really had to relax, because he could only hope it would go well for them. He’d take her home, and he’d take care of her.

———

Trina smiled, resting her hand on his thigh and squeezing it. She bopped her head along to the music, occasionally singing along if she knew the lyrics. Her curly hair moved along with her head movements, bouncing playfully. 

Finally free. Free from the invasive students, the boring lectures and the bad hotel. She could relax, for once. She was happy for once.

She glanced over at him from time to time, mostly just focusing on the road. She had no idea where he lived, so she was basically just trying to figure out how to get there by looking at the surroundings.

———

Mendel smiled slightly as he glanced at her. She was truly precious. Without a doubt. He had clearly grown distracted, as upon turning back to the road, he harshly braked. 

Mendel winced slightly. “Sorry,” he laughed nervously, praying she hadn’t caught on to why he’d had to brake so suddenly. It was embarrassing, at the very least.

It seemed unfamiliar to drive the route he’d been driving for so long after being away for a while. Yet, he managed to get home. Well, to the apartment block. It was nothing impressive, but it wasn’t dreadful.

———

She shot forward when he braked violently, laughing out of shock. Sadly (for him), she figured out why he braked like that pretty quickly. 

It was a very  _ him  _ thing to do, almost running a red light  because he was staring at her. She wasn’t gonna mention it, purely to spare his pride. She thought it was adorable anyways. 

She looked out of the window upon arriving. Well, she didn’t see any mattress covers being used as curtains, so that was certainly a good sign. She unbuckled her seatbelt, opening the door and getting out of the car. She was more than excited to see his home.

———

Mendel got out of the car, retrieving their luggage from the trunk with a sigh. His place was hardly more than a studio apartment, but it was nice enough. He turned to her.

“You know, it isn’t much, but it’s comfy,” he said, gesturing to the entrance of the apartment block. Why was he so suddenly nervous?  _ Possibly because he was about to take his girlfriend, colleague and year-long crush into his apartment. _

As they reached his door, he fumbled with the keys. He managed to unlock it, glancing at Trina with a lopsided and nervous looking smile. 

———

Trina took her own suitcase from him, stepping into his apartment. It really did look comfy. She definitely wouldn’t mind spending more time there. 

She looked around, taking off her shoes and coat. “Your apartment’s nice,” she said sincerely. “You don’t have to be nervous, you know. If anyone should be nervous, it’s me. I’m not sure how you want me to act here, since it’s not my home.

She ran a hand through her hair, chastely kissing him, her hand lingering on his cheek even after she pulled back. “I love you. I really do. And don’t you forget it.”

———

Mendel smiled slightly. He set down their bags, and turned to her without thinking. He pulled her into a kiss by the waist, hand on her jaw. It was unbelievably refreshing to be able to do that.

He pulled away, but let his lips graze over hers for a second. Mendel stepped back, taking her coat and hanging it at the back of the door. 

“Can I get you anything? You haven’t eaten in a while. Sit down, if you want to. Your back must hurt—not that that implies anything. I could make you a drink? Not alcohol, obviously. It’s a little early for that. But tea? Coffee? Water?”

———

Trina laughed quietly, sitting down on his couch. It felt like a pile of feathers after a week of bad mattresses and wooden chairs. “Take it easy, darling. Everything’s fine, I promise, okay? Tea would be great.”

He seemed very tense. She just wished she could do something, _anything,_ to make his nerves just fade away. All she could really do in that moment was let him take care of her, it seemed. 

She watched as he walked over to the kitchen, her eyebrows furrowed in concern. “I can make dinner tonight, if you want,” she offered. 

———

“After the week you’ve had, I’m pretty sure ordering pizza is a good option for us,” he said as he prepared her tea. 

Mendel wouldn’t confess that he was nervous. Instead he’d persistently tap his foot and glance at her what seemed like too often. He eventually handed her a mug, hands a little shaky. 

He sat beside her with a sigh, glancing around his apartment. “This doesn’t seem very homely. Oh, god, I have a bachelor pad. Is it too masculine? Would you say?”

———

Trina sipped her tea with a small laugh.  _ Oh god, how do you say ‘I can’t have pizza, I would die’ lightly? _ “You can order pizza if you want. I still can’t have it, though. Sorry.”

She moved her arm, wrapping it around his shoulders. She just hoped her comment didn’t make him more tense. He was already shaking, and she’d hate herself if she made it worse. 

“I wouldn’t say it’s too masculine. It looks normal, I think. It’s not like there’s a dead animal’s head on the wall with a dart board next to it. And there aren’t any empty beer bottles, so you’re good.”

———

Mendel cringed. “Oh—yeah, right.  _ That _ . I completely forgot. Hah. Yeah,” he stuttered, shifting.

His shoulders dropped slightly as she moved closer. He really was just trying to comfort her. Instead, it seemed as though he’d accidentally proposed manslaughter. Just his luck. 

“That’s true. It’s still kind of messy. I guess. My life—“ he sighed, gesturing to the various notepads and books scattered around the room.

“Sorry.”

———

Trina shook her head. “No, don’t apologize, it’s okay, I promise..” Oh, the poor thing. She wished he could just relax, and see that everything was alright. 

She sipped her tea again, putting her mug down on the coffee table and moving her other hand to his shoulders as well. She slowly started rubbing them, kissing his temple. “Just take it easy, alright? You don’t have to be so nervous.”

She glanced around the room again. “It’s not that messy. Hey, if you want, I could help you clean up sometime. It’ll help clear your mind.”

———

“No, really, that’s quite alright,” he replied, patting her hand that had settled on his shoulder. She was darling. Well and truly. 

“I’m not nervous,” he added as he turned himself to her. Of course he was, and that was very obvious. He’d be damned if he told her that.

Mendel hooked an arm around Trina’s lithe waist, shifting closer to her and resting his head on her shoulder. He recognised her perfume, and her shampoo. Something he’d grown attached to in the space of a few days.

Thank god he was home with her.

———

She smiled, caressing his hair and humming quietly. “Thank you for inviting me over. It means a lot.” She was silent for a moment. “I’m glad we’re finally together.”

She looked down at him, noticing the ever present bags under his eyes.  _ Oh, sweetheart.  _ “Hey, honey, you should really get some sleep. Just for a bit, you know? So we’ll both have enough energy for tonight.”

She really just wanted him to take care of himself. A bit hypocritical of her, sure, but she didn’t want him to focus on her too much. She loved the affection, but she didn’t want him to hurt himself for her sake.

———

Mendel shook his head. “Don’t worry about me. I’m alright,” he assured her with a vague gesture. “Plus, it’d be rude of me to sleep while you’re here.”

He, admittedly, wasn’t tired. He was  _ tired _ , but he didn’t need to sleep. Plus, he’d told himself he’d take care of her. 

“It’s nice to be alone. Fully alone, y’know?” He looked up at her. He fumbled as he reached for her hand, kissing the back of it tenderly and lingering for a minute as he noticed her perfume again.

———

“I don’t think that would be rude, but if you insist..” She smiled at the slightly awkward kiss. “I agree. We don’t have to be afraid of getting caught anymore, right?”

She cupped his face, tilting his head up and leaning in to kiss him, her hands drifting to his hips. She was so glad they were  _ really  _ together now. They could kiss for as long as they wanted without having to frantically glance around the room to check if no students were passing by. 

Trina grabbed his shirt with one hand, pulling him just a little closer. Her other hand remained on his hip, rubbing gentle circles on it.

——— 

Mendel smiled against her lips, and he set his hands on her shoulders. His grip was gentle, but sure. He could get used to this, if he was lucky enough to keep her.

As she grabbed his shirt, he tried harder not to smile. It was proving to be difficult. He liked her having control of the kiss. That way, there wasn’t so much pressure on him to do it right. Plus, it was hot.

He wouldn’t have taken her as someone who preferred to be bold in this sense. She came across as reserved, and shy. That certainly wasn’t there case. He supposed that said something about her; wanting to be in control of things.

———

She had so little control over everything else in her life that this kind of control was something she really needed. It made her feel.. important. Well, that and Mendel wasn’t bold enough to initiate this kind of intimacy most of the time. 

Trina pulled back after a minute or two, catching her breath and smiling. “Do you hear that? That’s the sound of no students roaming the halls. Doesn’t that feel amazing? It’s really just us now.”

She gently pressed her forehead against his, breathing a little heavily. She played with his shirt, twirling the fabric with her fingers in such a way that she could see a part of his stomach.

———

Mendel laughed slightly. “Yeah, it is,” he replied, breathless. “I hope it’s just us for a while now.” Of course, he didn’t want to pressure her into staying.

He glanced down, shifting sheepishly at the sight of exposed skin. He was hardly a ten. The way he saw it, he was a three and a half at best. 

Mendel brushed the hair that had fallen in her face behind her shoulders, his hand moving to the back of her neck. The tenderness of the moment was what he’d been craving for five days plus a year or so. He was lucky enough to finally receive it from her. 

———

“Yeah. The whole weekend, right? Unless you changed your mind and you want me to leave tomorrow.” Despite her confident attitude, she was still pretty scared he didn’t want her. 

Trina noticed him shifting, and she frowned in concern. “Hey.. you okay? What’s wrong?” The way he acted heavily suggested he had issues with his body, and she was gonna do everything she could to try and make him feel better. 

She tilted her head a little at the touch, humming softly. If she could, she’d stay here, in this position, forever. His hands were so soft and tender, it melted her heart.

———

“Nothing is wrong,” he said in reply, although it was quicker than he’d usually reply. That suggested something. “Yes, the whole weekend. If that’s what you want.”

Mendel shifted, pulling her close and leaning back into the couch slightly. He kissed the top of her head, closing his eyes. It was the pent-up affection coming into play.

He loved that she responded to the affection so sweetly, and that she didn’t pull away, or make dismissive comments about how attached he was. He liked that about her.

———

“You’re perfect,” she simply whispered, staying close to him. Her head rested on his chest, and she closed her eyes as well, a small, loving smile on her face.

Truthfully, she was just as attached as him. He was the person she was closest to, especially now that they were actually in a relationship. She told him too much for that to not be the case. 

She could only hope he wouldn’t leave her after a month. With all her baggage, she thought she was way too much to handle, especially for him. He was being so affectionate now, she prayed he wasn’t burning himself out.

———

They both had baggage, and he was prepared to help her the way she tried to help him. He noticed her smile, and he was sure they’d stay together. He reached for her hand.

‘Perfect’ wasn’t something he’d use to describe himself. If anything, it’d be one of the last things he’d use. However, if Trina had told him that, he felt as though things weren’t as they seemed to him. Image was warped, anyway.

Mendel couldn’t see himself leaving her. Surely not. There were things they didn’t know about each other, and things they would learn about each other. Trina was almost a journey for him. He was happy to stay with her.

———

“I love you,” she said quietly, remaining silent after that. She took his hand, squeezing it gently. 

She would never let him go. She couldn’t. She loved him, more than she could ever put into words. Besides the fact that she was madly in love with him, she was also terrified that he was her only chance at love. If that was true, him letting her go would be her worst nightmare. Well, that would be her worst nightmare even if there were a thousand guys in line for her. 

Time went way too fast in his arms, and she was convinced that that would be the case forever. It felt like they were the only two people on earth, like there was no time or space, just him and her. The sun shone on her face, and she smiled a little brighter. Everything would be alright. 

———

Mendel opened an eye to see the sun on her face, and he felt what he thought was relief wash over him. He noticed her freckles in the light, dotted around her eyes. If the rest of his life was moments like these, he’d happily live forever.

He was sure that one day, it’d hit him. Just how much he loved her, and how much he needed her. For now, he held her. He thought about her, and about them, and about everything in between those lines.

“I love you too,” he replied simply, finally understanding this. What it all meant, and what it got you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you!! any feedback would be appreciated. we worked hard on this for a while, and so it’d be great to hear something back.


	7. epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> just a little addition that we thought could be sweet...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the last chapter! hopefully this is a good way to round this off.

**_Epilogue_ **

 

It was about two years later, and Trina and Mendel were still going strong. They were living together now, and both were doing much better than they were before they got together. 

For the last week, though, Trina had noticed Mendel had been acting.. strangely, to say the least. He was constantly zoned out, and more jumpy and jittery than usual.

It kind of freaked her out, and she could only hope this meant something good was coming. God forbid he was gonna break up with her. But he wouldn’t.. would he? 

On a simple Monday afternoon, after they both got back from school, Trina was met with Mendel’s hands in front of her eyes, as he led her to the car. “Sweetheart, what are you doing?”

———

“Just—trust me,” he said, opening her car door. He laughed nervously. “It’s fine,” Mendel reassured her as he got into the car. “Alright?”

Mendel was hoping things would run smoothly, and that she wouldn’t ask too many questions. He knew the drive would be a little while, but he was sure it’d be worth it.

_Would it be worth it?_ _Of course it would be, wouldn’t it?_ There was no way in hell he was driving the both of them to Queens for it not to be worth it. Well, it’s not as though he could tell.

———

“Where are you taking me? Do I need to keep my eyes closed?” she asked a little frantically as she got into the car. 

There were a thousand questions on her mind, and she was pretty damn terrified. Hah, what if he was kidnapping her or something? Program and Control.  _ Side note, stop using works of fiction where people are murdered to make sense of things. It’ll make you freak out more. _

She sighed. Everything was gonna be fine, wasn’t it? I mean, his nervous attitude made it clear that this was something big and exciting (and probably not a kidnapping). 

———

“Relax. You can open your eyes, but close ‘em when I ask you to,” he said, glancing at her as he pulled out of the parking lot.

He hoped it would all work out in his favour. What’s the worst that could happen?  _ Oh, I don’t know, he crashes the car? _ Mendel could drive well when he needed to.

He noticed her distressed expression. “I’m not about to pull a gun on you, just so you know. You look scared to death, honey. It’s fine. Just trust me.”

———

Trina nodded, slowly opening her eyes and looking out of the window, before glancing at him.  _ Relax, don’t do it, if you wanna go to it. Oh my god, he was gonna kill her with an ashtray and then chop her up.  _

“Right. Sorry,” she said with a nervous smile, moving her hand to his thigh.  _ Well, this was either gonna be her death or the best moment of her life.  _ Both concepts terrified her. She wasn’t wearing anything special or whatever. Maybe she should’ve made an effort. 

She noticed he was driving faster than usual, and she didn’t know if that was a good sign or not. She kept her eyes on him, and the sight of him reminded her to  _ calm the fuck down.  _ She loved him, and he loved her. He wouldn’t hurt her. Everything was fine. 

———

The drive was relatively quiet, and he had obtained a giddy smile over the course of thirty minutes. Upon recognising where he was, he spoke up. 

“Close your eyes,” he said, patting her thigh softly and turning his attention back to the road. It was already starting to get dark with winter closing in. He was just grateful she had a coat.

Mendel drummed  fingers on the steering wheel, his foot tapping when he could manage it. He noticed that her nervous energy hadn’t subsided. To tell the truth, his hadn’t either.

———

“Alright.” She did as he said, her heart racing. Frankly, she was anticipating a knife through her stomach at any moment. It was fine. Everything was fine. He was smiling, so it must be fine. 

“Are we almost there?” she asked, speaking relatively slowly. She didn’t want to ask too many questions, but what else was she supposed to do? This was nerve wracking. 

She fiddled with her dress (at least she was wearing a dress), taking a few deep breaths.  _ Take it easy, Trin. Then you’ll die relaxed, which seems better than dying stressed out. _

_ ——— _

“Yeah, we are,” he said in reply, keeping his tone soft for comfort. “You don’t need to worry, darling. I can tell you are.”

He would’ve found it entertaining had she not looked so troubled. Had he not been so nervous. So jumpy. He pulled into the parking lot, exhaling slowly.

“Trina? Keep your eyes closed until I tell you to open them. When I do, keep your eyes on me. Don’t look around, alright? I guess it could be nicer.”

———

She nodded, fumbling a little while searching for the door handle. She opened the car door, getting out with her eyes still closed. 

Well, this ought to be fun, huh? She tapped her fingers on the car, waiting for him to lead her somewhere or give her a sign that she could open her eyes. 

Maybe she wouldn’t be so nervous if she wasn’t always nervous. Despite her raging anxiety, she was curious and excited to see what was gonna happen too. If he killed her, at least he understood good build up. 

———

Mendel walked to her, taking her hand and glancing around. He walked her to a spot he deemed pretty. As far as pretty went in this situation. He felt how tense she was. “Just relax,” he said, kissing her cheek gently.

He stopped, turning her shoulders to him slightly, exhaling shakily. God, he was anxious about the turnout of this. What if she didn’t cooperate?

“Trina. You know how much you mean to me, don’t you?” He asked, hands shaking slightly.

———

_ Good start.  _ Although he directed her to face him, her eyes were still closed, and she had absolutely no idea what the hell was happening. 

“Yeah, I do..” Hopefully this meant something good, and it wasn’t gonna be followed up with ‘so it is with great reluctance that I must kill you right now’.  _ Dark.  _

Truthfully, she was never gonna let go of ‘I’m going to be murdered in an alleyway by my long-term boyfriend who is actually an undercover assassin’ scenario. She was too paranoid, she realized in that moment.

———

“And that you are my everything. One hundred percent. You know that my existence literally revolves around you,” he said, taking her hands. Mendel sighed before continuing.

“You are...the brightest woman I’ve ever met. And the brightest I ever will meet. It is  _ really _ an honour to be with you. It’s  _ embarrassing _ . I spent too long trying to impress you, and I was lucky enough to get somewhere with it. I really vividly remember when you first kissed me.”

Mendel stepped closer, looking up for a moment. “You are  _ everything.  _ More than. I’m impossibly lucky to be here with you right now instead of back in my old place drowning my sorrows in cheap drinks.”

He cleared his throat. Mendel reached into his pocket, pulling out a ring and nodding to himself. He got on one knee awkwardly.

“With that…” he said quietly. “Trina. Darling. My love. Open your eyes?”

———

Trina opened her eyes, gasping as soon as she saw him on one knee.  _ Oh my god.  _ She was gonna faint, she was sure of it. 

She teared up, sniffling. “You can’t be serious.. Yes. Yes, yes, yes,” she rambled, laughing giddily out of happiness and shock. 

She couldn’t process it all. It was almost too much. After two years of comfort, happiness, safety and love, he was  _ proposing.  _ He said he wanted to marry her in the first week, but it wasn’t like she actually believed him. Maybe he wasn’t even serious. But, oh my god, he was proposing. 

———

And then it hit him. He stood, stumbling slightly as he pulled her in. He’d just proposed to her in front of the hotel she’d kissed him in for the first time, and she said  _ yes.  _

He set his hand on the back of her neck as he held her close to him, unsure of whether he was laughing or crying. Both, it seemed. He felt everything all at once.

Mendel had been planning this for months, and he had to say, he was impossibly glad it had all worked out. He pulled back, slipping the ring onto her finger with an unsteady hand.

“Oh my  _ god.” _

_ ——— _

Trina looked down at the ring, over at the hotel, and then back to him. “Oh my god, indeed,” she laughed, tears of joy streaming down her face. 

“Oh, I love you. I love you so much. We’re gonna get married,” she said giddily, her voice laced with disbelief at the entire situation. He actually wanted to marry her.

She hugged him tightly, smiling brightly and holding him close like it was the last thing she’d ever do. “I can’t believe you actually want me to marry you! I love you.”

———

“Of course I do,” he mumbled, sniffling into her shoulder. “More than I’ve ever wanted anything.”

Mendel pulled back from the hug in favour of kissing her passionately. He tried not to laugh. Not because anything was funny, but because he couldn’t quite believe his luck.

“I love you,” he replied, cupping her cheek tenderly and trying to pull himself together. “I love you so much. So much,” he rambled. 

He looked at her, and her smile, and her eyes in the light from the streetlights, and her giddy laugh, and he just  _ knew _ their future was bright. Just as bright as the woman he was going to marry.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i think i speak for el and i when i say this was a delight! we enjoyed writing this SO much. at least i did. thanks for reading, if you’ve made it this far. our tumblrs are brandonjblock/trinweisenbachfeld and valenciaruiz  
> any feedback would be greatly appreciated! support the cher show and trindel stans

**Author's Note:**

> thank you!! any feedback would be appreciated. we worked hard on this for a while, and so it’d be great to hear something back.


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